Today 'They' Won the Battle
by Rhasa aka Sarah
Summary: Chapter 26 Up. A multiple part story that explores the developing relationship between Max and Alec. Max has a confession for Alec, but can she tell him after all he has lost?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Today 'They' Won the Battle Author: Rhasa Category: Drama Keywords: M/A sorta Rating: PG-13 Summary: Today 'They' won the battle, but the war is just beginning. Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made.  
"Hang on, baby. Hang on."  
  
Alec's arms ached with the dead weight of the unconscious X6 he was carrying. He could tell it was bad. Worse than bad. He made no apologies as he pushed and crashed his way through the crowded corridors that were bustling with frenzied activity that bordered on chaos. Feeling the limp body slip for the fourth time, he gave a little jolt to bring her still frame back towards his chest, willing himself to concentrate on hastily placing one foot in front of another without falling down a flight of stairs that led deeper into Terminal City and not on the fact that he could no longer detect the rise and fall of her chest.  
  
"Out of the way!" He yelled to those who blocked the narrow passageway. "Hold on, baby. Not much further."  
  
Reaching his destination he turned a corner at the end of a hallway and stopped. He allowed himself a moment to scan his surroundings before he head off for the far side of the vast room in which he had entered. He cautiously stepped around numerous people, but didn't fail to notice the looks on their faces. A sea of bloodied and injured Transgenics of all kinds watched him as he passed. Some looked fearful, some looked shocked and defeated, but most despite their obvious pain looked angry.  
  
"Kyra! Kyra!" Alec called above the noise of the room as he approached a woman who was applying a heavy field dressing to what looked like an X7 series who had taken one in the upper arm.  
  
She looked up at the sound of her name and glanced at the head of the woman Alec was carrying which had now lolled completely back. Grabbing the hand of the person next to her, Kyra slammed it onto the heavy combine dressing and said, "Hold here. Don't let go. Keep the pressure on to stop the bleeding," then took off like a flash across the room towards Alec.  
  
She reached him just before his legs gave out, catching the woman as she dropped slightly from his arms and managing, somehow, to ease her down onto a vacant makeshift cot that stood close by.  
  
Alec panted and swallowed hard. "She took one straight to the chest," he said as he ran a shaking hand through his hair. "She was conscious up until the outer perimeter and then she just lost it. I haven't been able to wake her."  
  
Shuffling on his feet, Alec could still feel the adrenaline pumping through his system. He fought desperately for some sort of control over his emotions, but didn't manage to calm his breathing any. He looked down and watched as Kyra quickly pulled back the leather jacket of the patient in front of her and grimaced as he saw the ugly open wound that dominated her upper torso. Glancing to the woman's face he saw just how pale she had become, as Kyra's fingers moved to just below her jaw line in search of a pulse.  
  
"Samuel," She yelled back over her shoulder. "I need resus now!"  
  
In a brief second another had joined her and immediately began to work on the woman.  
  
"She's not breathing," Kyra said softly to Alec. But it was something he already knew and so he just nodded in mute understanding of the seriousness of her condition.  
  
Alec felt utterly helpless as he watched the two before him try and pull of a miracle. Lacking drugs, dressings and vital equipment he knew it was a long shot. Turning, he looked around the room once more. He could count twenty to twenty-five wounded and seven dead, but more were streaming into the makeshift infirmary by the second, most of the recent arrivals with minor injuries. The assortment of species was almost comical. There were freaks of all different natures with one thing in common. Despite having various different DNA sequences, whether it be human, cat, dog, snake, reptilian, fish or whatever, they all bled red.  
  
It was a soft grasp on his shoulder that brought him back round to face the woman in front of him.  
  
"I'm sorry, Alec. There was nothing we could do. She had lost too much blood and damage was extensive. Maybe if we had better equipment." Kyra's voice trailed off.  
  
He looked into the woman's face once more and this time noticed just how peaceful she looked.  
  
"Do you know her name?" Kyra asked.  
  
"No. No. I don't think I even met her before tonight." Alec sighed.  
  
"Her name is Anita, I think," Samuel said. "She only came in last week."  
  
Alec hung his head, suddenly somehow more saddened now that he knew her name.  
  
"Are you hurt, Alec?" Kyra's voice reached out to him as did her hand as it touched the front of his shirt.  
  
He looked down to where she softly rested her hand and noticed for the first time the dark stain across his front. He was soaked through. "No. It's her. its Anita's blood. I'm okay," he said sadly.  
  
"Well, okay. You should go now. Go change. Get some rest. I might need you later on to make a run."  
  
Alec nodded his head, thanked the two softly and turned to leave.  
  
He found her about an hour later. Still caked in what was now dried blood he had been searching, asking everyone, trying to trace her down if only to reassure himself that she wasn't hurt and injured like so many others.  
  
He had lost her in the first few minutes of the raid, right after they realised that they had all walked into an ambush and right before the bloodbath had begun.  
  
Now she sat before him, at the top of a secluded flight of stairs away from the command centre, with her head resting on top of her knees which were pulled tightly up to her chest. She had been crying and despite hastily wiping a few tears from the corners of her eyes when she first heard him approach, she couldn't hide that fact from him.  
  
"I'm not real good company right now," she whispered as he took the bottom step on his way up to her.  
  
"That bad huh?" he asked softly as he halted his ascent and took a seat.  
  
"I'm just." she trailed off as a few more tears escaped down her cheeks. This time she made no move to wipe them away. "I'm just tired of it. I'm just tired of being some great leader when I'm not," she said forlornly. "Just get. just get somebody else to do it."  
  
"Well you're pretty much it. There isn't anyone else."  
  
"Well, you know, people died out there! People died because I. because I didn't-"  
  
"Know everything?"  
  
"Yes," her voice broke.  
  
"Nobody expects you to know everything but yourself, Max," he tried to say reassuringly. "Look, this was not your fault."  
  
"Alec-"  
  
"No. I mean it. It was not your fault. We were set up. We did everything going into to this to prepare. A major raid on the warehouse? It was a good plan, well thought out. The responsibility of this didn't just lie with you. It was a joint decision by all of us. Those who came along volunteered, but they knew the risks. We all know the risks. You can't blame yourself. Don't be angry at yourself. Be angry at White."  
  
She took in his words and was a little surprised to find that they comforted her - just a little.  
  
"I guess that's pretty arrogant of me isn't it?" she asked him after a moment's reflection on her behaviour.  
  
"I wouldn't know. I'm usually too self-centred to notice," he joked back, offering her a small reassuring smile.  
  
She really wanted to be able to return his smile, but she couldn't.  
  
"We paid a heavy price today, Alec," she sighed.  
  
"And we may pay a heavy price tomorrow, but it is a price worth paying, Max."  
  
"Are you sure about that?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
She nodded and admired his courage and convictions. He had changed so much since they had come to Terminal City. She was secretly glad he was here with her now. His soft reassurance prevented her from spiralling downwards in self-doubt and recriminations. She was proud of the way he had grown, become more compassionate and less self-centred despite his jokes to the contrary. In a way she envied him. His personality changes had made him even freer, allowing him to develop a spirit, a soul that had been robbed of him when he was at Manticore. She had come to like this new Alec by her side, it seemed natural that he be the one to pick her up when she stumbled. Perhaps it was because for all their differences they were also a lot alike.  
  
She looked down at him and noticed his head resting heavily against the handrail. He was tired, so was she. She stood quietly, and he opened his eyes to find her small hand outstretched before her. He took it and stood, enjoying the warmth her touch offered him.  
  
"They won the battle, today, Alec," she sighed softly as he ascended the stairs and drew her to his side in a companionable embrace.  
  
"Yes, Max. But the war is just beginning," he said.  
  
They walked in silence towards the living quarters each grateful for the other's company and secure in the knowledge that even though there were to be more battles ahead, at least they'd never have to fight them alone.  
  
The End.. I think.  
  
Please review I would love to hear from you. Rhasa4@yahoo.com  
  
Author's note:  
  
This little piece and in particular the above 'stair' scene is a direct rip off of a TV series that aired in the 80's. Chocolate cyber cookies for anyone who can name the show I used. 


	2. Decisions

Title: Today 'They' Won the War part 2 Author: Rhasa Rating: PG-13 Category: Drama, Angst, romance (developing) Keywords: Max and Alec Summary: Sometimes as leader when making decisions everything isn't just black and white. Max waits for Alec after leaving him behind. Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Angel or 'V'. No money is being made from this.  
"Still not back?" A voice called out from behind her.  
  
"No. Not yet," she answered choosing not to turn around, but to continue to stare out into the darkness that lay just beyond the perimeter fence.  
  
"You can't blame yourself," Kyra said coming up to stand just beside her. "You did the right thing. You can't risk it all just for one man."  
  
"I don't know how many more of these decisions I can take," Max said softly.  
  
Kyra nodded at her words. It had been a dark, dark, day for the inhabitants of Terminal City. The pre dawn raid which now seemed as if it had occurred a lifetime ago had cost them dearly. Seven dead, twenty-two injured and six were still on the critical list. No one had assigned blame to the blunder, but it cut into Max deeply nonetheless. These were her people. She was responsible for them. She would always be responsible for them.  
  
Kyra watched as her leader shifted nervously from foot to foot, and her heart sank for the petite sized leader. She imagined just how worried Max was. The ambush by White and his goons this morning as they tried to get supplies for Terminal City and now only hours later having to leave Alec behind on yet another raid to secure desperately needed medical supplies to help those injured from this morning was tearing her up inside.  
  
"You're a leader, Max. This is what a leader does."  
  
"Yeah. I guess I missed that part in the job description."  
  
They shared a long moment of silence before Kyra broke it.  
  
"You know this isn't the first time I've had to pass myself off as a doctor. Some doctor," she smirked. "I worked in a . well, I don't know what to call it, really. It wasn't a clinic in any sense of the word. We had a shack, two cots made from crates and on a good day something other than half a dozen bandages and half a bottle of aspirin, to treat anything from stage one diabetes to limb amputation.  
  
"Most of our 'patients' were itinerants. They passed through on their way south, somewhere where it was warmer on the streets at night, a little less rain than here," she gave a smirk. "Anyway, one day a woman passed through. A woman." she shook her head at the memory. "She was more like a girl. She couldn't have been older than seventeen, she looked more like fifteen, but she had three children with her, two boys and a baby girl. Small, tired, frightened little things the boys were. Hungry too, boy were they hungry. They didn't talk much. In fact I don't think I heard them talk at all. The littlest one, the baby was. was. well, she was very badly burned when they came in. Her mother had placed her too close to the fire they used to sleep around at night to keep warm. Her blanket caught fire, she was only five months old, and she had been severely burned. She didn't look human when I first saw her. She was blackened, charred, her arms grossly bent back from the tendons being burned, her body swollen beyond belief. But she was still alive, somehow.  
  
"Surprisingly she could still feed from her mother. She cried all the time. That little thing was in so much pain. But in the end there was nothing I could do for her. She needed to be in intensive care, in hospital, with burn specialists and paediatricians, but we knew that wasn't going to happen. She was still alive and her mother looked at me and asked me to help her..." Kyra paused here. Max looked over as the other woman swallowed hard, looked up and continued. "Her mother asked me to help her daughter..." she faltered again.  
  
"So did you help her?" Max asked already dreading her answer.  
  
"I did," Kyra sighed. "I reached over and broke her neck. She died instantly."  
  
Max fell silent. There was nothing she could say. No words of comfort could ever console the grief that Kyra must have felt- must still be feeling- after having to make a decision like that. It didn't make her decision of leaving Alec behind anymore bearable, but it did put things into perspective.  
  
"He'll be okay. You'll see," Kyra's voice came out of the darkness once more.  
  
"I wished I shared your optimism."  
  
"This is Alec we're talking about."  
  
"I know. That's why it hurts so much more," Max said, looking downwards.  
  
She still couldn't forgive herself. She had never left a man behind before.  
  
"Those supplies you got? They'll save lives."  
  
Max looked over at the woman who was the closest thing Terminal City had to a doctor. "I know," she whispered feeling a little guilty that she was still caught up in her own grief.  
  
The two women stood together silently, each understanding the other a little better than they had a few minutes ago. Kyra wondered what was it with women, even Manticore women, and grief. Their mutual decisions had been tactically correct and humane. A male counterpart perhaps wouldn't have questioned whether what they had done as being the right thing or not. Strategically it had made sense that Max left Alec behind while taking the already procured supplies out of the compound. She would have risked herself, the supplies and in doing so the lives of those injured back at Terminal City if she had stayed after Alec had missed the rendezvous. It may have been the right thing to do, but it still hurt.  
  
Max had made up her mind that if Alec hadn't returned in another twenty minutes she would go back for him. Before she could turn to the woman next to her and start the debate about her intentions her sensitive hearing detected movement off into the distance. She instantly went on alert, hoping, praying it was Alec.  
  
As a dark form ran out from a shadow, Max took off sprinting. She hit him full force, crashing into his chest, panting from the adrenaline that had caused her flight.  
  
Alec, momentarily stunned by her reaction to his rather late return, steadied himself and put his arms around her as she hugged him tight.  
  
"I was so worried about you," she said, her words muffled against his chest.  
  
"I was worried about me too," he began in his usual wise crack manner before her words registered in his mind. "Wait. You were worried about me?" he asked as he pulled back a little to look into her eyes.  
  
"I was just as worried. as I would have been. had anybody I known." she babbled back at him, hastily trying to explain herself, while being uncomfortable with revealing what she had been thinking about him.  
  
"Maybe you were a little *more* concerned about *me*?" he ginned devilishly down at her, acutely aware that he still held her small frame in his arms and that she hadn't slugged him one - as yet.  
  
Max's eyes smiled at him. He could see the relief there and was surprised once more. "You've got an awful high opinion of yourself, haven't you?" she teased.  
  
"I'm beginning to get a high opinion of you too," he smiled.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Alec felt her breath against his cheek and it sent a small spark down his spine. They were so close that he could have kissed her if he wanted. Her face was flushed, her breathing quick, her eyes were shining and he thought that he had never seen her look more beautiful.  
  
"Welcome back," another voice called out from not too far away, breaking whatever spell had fallen over Max and Alec.  
  
Alec looked up and Max took that as her cue to fall to his side as they began to walk further into Terminal City.  
  
"We'd almost given up on you," Kyra said as she reached Alec and patted his shoulder. "Almost."  
  
"It's good to be home," Alec said. "And to know that I was missed," he added as he descended the steps that led to the command centre, all the while not taking his eyes off Max who still had her arm wrapped around his waist.  
  
The end. I think.  
  
I would love a review or feedback Rhasa4@yahoo.com 


	3. What's the right thing?

Title: Today 'They Won the Battle' Part 3 Author: Rhasa Category: Drama Keywords: Max and Alec developing relationship. Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made. Summary: Max wonders if she's done the right thing. Sometimes being a leader is a bitch.  
  
Max looked out at the city skyline. The space needle, her favourite haunt of past, loomed far in the distance. Like a beacon it called to her, but she knew it would be a long time coming before she could scale its heights ever again.  
  
She sighed, and scanned her eyes across the streets below. The view may be different but the heartache that resided beneath her was just the same. Broken lives in a broken world. Some great 'recovery' America was having.  
  
A cool breeze swept over her and she tightened the hold she had on her knees against her chest. She welcomed the sudden drop in temperature despite its foreboding. Winter was on its way and would be here soon. Preparations had to be made to make Terminal City a more comfortable environment for its occupants during the cooler months. Pushing those worrisome thoughts out of her head, she was happy just for now that the cool wind allowed her to feel something. She had been numb for days and her detachment to everything and everyone around her had caused her a little concern.  
  
A shiver ran through, but this time she knew it wasn't the cold. She had heard him approach - so much for his stealth and other skills supposed to be imbedded into, she could always hear Alec from a long way off.  
  
"I thought I might find you here," he said softly as he moved to take a seat next to her, she didn't answer. "It was easy to figure out. 'Just wondered where the highest point of Terminal City was, far away from the maddening crowd as it were, and voila. Here you are."  
  
"Guess I can't keep anything from you, hey?" she said solemnly.  
  
Noticing her dark mood, Alec tried to cheer her up. "Hey, I've got great news," he said, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. "Kyra said the last two have come off the critical list. They're going to live, Max. They're going to make it."  
  
"That is good news," she agreed, but she still didn't look at him.  
  
"But that's not what's bothering you, right?" Alec hedged.  
  
He knew she was down. She had withdrawn from him, hell from everyone, over the past few days. She had spent more and more time by herself, just thinking it seemed. He had initially put it down to the guilt she felt for the raid almost two weeks ago. Too many of their own kind had died and Max, typically, took all the blame herself, despite there being no way any of them had known it was a trap. She felt as if she had failed as a soldier but more importantly as a leader. He tried to help her understand, and when that didn't seem to work he vowed to give her some space, to help her get through it. But after a while her solitude bothered him and his concern grew by the day.  
  
"Max, what's wrong," he whispered while nudging her with his shoulder. "Come on," he urged. "You've been down for days. Tell me what's bothering you."  
  
"Oh, you know. Life, the universe and everything," she joked.  
  
Alec sighed. He was trying, he really was. But getting Max to open up sometimes was like getting blood from a stone.  
  
Hearing him next to her, Max turned to look at him. He stared straight back, not afraid to meet whatever he would find in her eyes.  
  
"I never thanked you," she whispered.  
  
"Thanked me?" he asked surprised. "For what?"  
  
"For two weeks ago. The raid. What you did."  
  
"I just did what any other soldier would do."  
  
"No you didn't. You went above and beyond that day, Alec. Mole told me how you went back, to get Anita as well as the others."  
  
"I didn't even know her name," he said softly. The memory of his futile attempt to save the unknown transgenic was still raw in his mind. "I couldn't save her. I wasn't fast enough."  
  
"You tried. You went back," Max said. "That's more than-" she stopped abruptly.  
  
"More than what? More than what you expected me to do?"  
  
She shook her head sharply. "No. It's more than a lot of others would have done," she said.  
  
"Well, I just can't stand to leave a man - or woman - behind," he shrugged.  
  
"I know the feeling," she said, remembering that she had done just that to him only two nights later when they had gone on a run for medical supplies.  
  
"I'm sorry, Max," he whispered, remembering the sacrifice she had made in order to deliver the medical supplies safely back to terminal City. "You did what you had to do."  
  
"Same goes for you," she said. "Thankyou."  
  
"Well this is one for the books. Max, thanking me. Now I know something is definitely up with you," he tried to joke, but it fell flat for some reason. "You don't have to feel guilty about leaving me behind, Max. It was what we agreed we should do if I missed the rendezvous."  
  
"I know. But it didn't make the decision any easier."  
  
"You're doing okay," he said. When she looked up at him with questioning eyes, asking just what he meant, he continued. "You're doing okay - as a leader."  
  
She scoffed at his words and looked out at the city below her once more.  
  
"I never thought I would miss it," she whispered. "For all my bitching and moaning about Seattle, Jam Pony, the queues for almost everything, the checkpoints, the sector police, for all my complaining I didn't think I would miss it."  
  
"But you do," he said.  
  
"Yeah, I do," she sighed. "I miss everything. The brown outs, having to take over an hour to fill a bath from boiling pots of water, the tussling at the market to get even the most basic of stuffs, the shakedowns, the payoffs, hell, I miss Normal and his 'bip,bip,bip,' how sick is that? And Crash, boy do I miss hanging out at Crash. I would do anything for a pitcher of beer right about now."  
  
Alec chuckled at the sound of desperation in her voice.  
  
"I just don't know if I've done the right thing," she said sadly.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
  
"I burned Manticore down to set us all free. But are we? We're holed up in TC and we're still like animals, except this time we're in a bigger cage. What was I thinking, Alec?"  
  
"It's not the same, Max," he said trying to be convincing.  
  
"Isn't it? We have to sneak out to get supplies. We risk lives every time we run out of toilet paper. We can't walk the streets. We set foot outside those gates and we'll be shot on sight and that's only if we're lucky and the rest of the world and the vigilante psychos out there don't decide to have a little fun with us first. What kind of a life do we have here? Is it any better than if we would have ran?"  
  
"Yes. Yes it is better. It's better than being hunted. Never being able to stop running, stop hiding. Anything is better than that. Knowing that nowhere is safe because someone would always be after you, on your trail, biting at your heels. At least, at the very least, here we can pause, rest even, at least we are together, with family. It's not the safest place in the world, no. Terminal City isn't a transgenic utopia. Maybe we should be looking for an Island or something. Make a real life "Island of Dr Moreau" with a happy ending, but until then, this is the best we got, Max. And it's better than we could ever have hoped for and we owe it all to you."  
  
"Don't say that," she mumbled, with tears in her eyes. She didn't want to be responsible for the mess they all found themselves in.  
  
"We owe it all to you. We are alive, here, now because of you. Can't you see that?"  
  
"No," she cried. "I can't."  
  
He pulled her closer, his hands on her forearms, pleading with her to listen to all that he was saying. "We would never have stood a chance if we had ran. You gotta believe that."  
  
"I want to, I really do."  
  
"Then just trust me," he said. "Trust what I am saying."  
  
A sob broke from her and Alec reached out and pulled her head to his chest folding her into his embrace. He held her, rocking and soothing her muffled cries as he straightened her hair with the palm of her hand. His heart ached for her, but he was glad that he had the chance to be with her like this. He had only held one other time - the night she told him about Ben's death and he had been as surprised then as he was now - not of what she had done, but of her strength, her resilience and her sacrifice. Whether she could see it or not, Alec knew that Max had managed to give part of her soul up for the greater good and benefit of others, making her a true leader.  
  
"I'm sorry to get all girly on you," she whispered against his chest after she had been crying for some minutes.  
  
"Don't worry about it. In fact, I kind of find it refreshing."  
  
She pulled back and looked up at him, a questioning look on her face.  
  
"It makes a change from you wanting to kick my ass all the time," he shrugged.  
  
"Who said I didn't want to kick your ass?" she joked.  
  
"Whatever makes you feel better, Max."  
  
"I guess we'd better head back inside. It's starting to get cold," she said pulling completely back from him and noticing the truth in her words now that she didn't have his arms to warm her.  
  
"Nah. I'm not ready to head back in just yet," he said, looking out over the city once more.  
  
"Me neither," she said giving him a small smile an turning to look out over the broken city before them once more, knowing this time, she wasn't alone.  
  
TBC  
  
Rhasa4@yahoo.com 


	4. Lonely at the Top

Title: Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 4 Author: Rhasa Category/Keywords: Developing Max/Alec relationship Rating: Pg-13 Spoilers: none Summary: It's lonely at the top. Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made. No infringement intended. Author's note: Part of the "Today 'They' won the Battle" series. You don't have to read the other parts to get this but this one sort of follows on and it is a developing relationship after all so why no check the others out at fanficiton.net  
  
Today "They" Won the Battle part 4 By Rhasa  
  
Max woke to the sound of continuous pounding on her door. She gave a small groan as she rose out of bed to answer whoever it was that had woken her at two in the morning. Yesterday had been a particularly long day and she had welcomed the chance to doze, seldom needing it in the past, but longing for it now.  
  
Another sequence of heavy pounding had her shouting back at the door as she approached it. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming. Hold your goddamned horses will ya'?"  
  
Her ire didn't lessen any when she opened the door only to have smoke blown straight into her face.  
  
"Maxxxxxxxxxxx!" a rather jovial Mole sang to her, compulsory cigar protruding from the side of his mouth.  
  
"Mole? What the hell-" she began, but was hastily silenced as he reached forward and grabbed her arm effectively dragging her out of the doorway.  
  
"You're wanted in the command centre right away."  
  
"What? What is it? What's wrong?" she asked quickly, trying hard to keep an edge of panic out of her voice.  
  
It had been a hard couple of weeks, beginning with the raid on the warehouse which had turned out to be a trap by White and his men and which had meant the loss of seven transgenics with many more wounded. Max was wound tight, on edge, walking a fine line between keeping a cool authoritative façade and losing it all together. She didn't know if she could handle another attack right now.  
  
"Mole!" she practically yelled, when he failed to answer her questions and stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the hallway. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," he simply said, and reached for her arm again.  
  
"Nothing?" she asked, as she deftly snatched herself away from his grasp.  
  
"Nothing's wrong, it's not what you think. You're wanted in the command centre."  
  
"Well then what's so damn urgent but not wrong that you have to wake me at two in the morning?" she snapped.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing's urgent, as such," he said with a twisted smile on his face.  
  
"Well then, I'm going back to sleep," she said after squashing the rise of panic in her chest. From his tone it couldn't be too serious, so she made a turn back towards her room.  
  
"No. No, no, no, no, no. You're wanted in the command centre now."  
  
"Mole!" she whined. "It's late, or early. I don't want to go to the command centre. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. I don't usually need sleep but when I do my body's pretty insistent about it."  
  
"No, no, no. You can sleep later. Right now you're 'needed' in the command centre," he slurred around his cigar as he reached for her again and continued to drag her towards the nerve centre of Terminal City.  
  
By the time Max got to the command centre she was well and truly pissed. Mole's elusive and cryptic comments failed to pique her curiosity and she was looking to kick whoever was responsible for this little jaunt's butt. The fact that a larger than usual crowd now stood around her with odd grins and smirks on their faces didn't make her feel any less irritable.  
  
"Well? What's going on?" she barked while crossing her arms in a gesture of pure annoyance as the crowd swarmed around her.  
  
Truth be told, Max was starting to feel a little nervous as she stood there waiting for explanations which didn't seem to be forthcoming anytime soon. Transgenics and transhumans alike simply stood and stared at her, grinning. She was beginning to feel like a sole gazelle amidst a pride of lions, as she stood scanning the crowd waiting. waiting. until her rich chocolate eyes locked on a pair of dazzling green ones that were all too familiar.  
  
"Alec," she whispered mostly to herself, already convinced that he was the one responsible for this whole mystery.  
  
"Heya, Maxie," he said, stepping forward, with a devilish look on his face.  
  
"Hey yourself. What's going on?" she asked in a somewhat good natured but deeply suspicious tone.  
  
"I've got a surprise," he offered, smirk still firmly planted on his face.  
  
"A surprise?"  
  
"Yeah. And we all wanted you here to share it."  
  
Max looked over to Mole as he snorted at Alec's remark, knowing full well that from her slimey friend's response and his impatience at getting her here that if it wasn't for her they'd all be "sharing" Alec's surprise already.  
  
"So give," she said, biting on the temptation to stamp down her foot.  
  
Alec still seeming pleased with himself, moved to the side and began to pull a blanket off a large object that Max had failed to notice standing there.  
  
"Ta da," he sang enthusiastically.  
  
"It's a keg," Max said.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It's a keg of beer," she said, matter-of-factly.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You brought a keg of beer into Terminal City."  
  
"A keg of beer, a case of scotch, couple bottles of burbon and even a magnum of very expensive champagne," he stated somewhat proudly. "I thought given the past couple of weeks we could all do with a little R and R, and since we can't go to a party we'll bring the party here." He looked cautiously over at Max trying to gauge her reaction. "So? How about it boss? Wanna party?" he leered.  
  
Max glanced at the overly eager, almost child-like faces, of the worn soldiers that stood before her. She knew what Alec was asking. It took a more than average amount of alcohol for transgenics to get drunk, but once drunk, things could quickly get out of hand. He was asking her permission. Permission for a few of them to blow off steam, wind down. Permission that she dare not refuse if she wanted to get her head torn off. Damn him. Couldn't he have asked her in private? She sighed. Who was she to deny them a bit of fun?  
  
"Max?" Alec prompted.  
  
"I say let's peg this keg," she answered, wishing she could sound more enthusiastic than she felt.  
  
A cheer erupted from the crowd, as those most keen rushed forward offering technical advice while vying for one of the first drinks of what was going to be a very long night.  
  
XXXXXXXXX  
  
An hour later and the impromptu soiree was well under way.  
  
Max scanned her eyes around the command centre focusing on various individuals and groups. Mole and Dix seemed most in their element. Max chuckled as she watched and discovered that Mole could smoke and drink at the same time, his cigar never leaving his mouth as he downed what must have been his seventh straight scotch. Kyra, the designated "doctor" of Terminal City, had taken time out from her endless duties in the infirmary to enjoy the festivities and nodded eagerly as Joshua offered to refill her champagne glass. People seemed to be genuinely having a good time. There was laughing and smiling, things that had been missing recently from TC. There must have been close to seventy or eighty people there and the number seemed to be steadily growing as undoubtedly word got out at Alec's score.  
  
Alec.  
  
Max walked around the room searching for the lovable rogue. She had whispered in his ear earlier that she would be having 'words' with him later. Now was as good a time as any. Passing by the computer banks, Max caught a glimpse of him. He was deep in conversation with a smiling and sickening sweet looking X6 female, one that Max had not as yet talked to. Seeing him lean in close and whisper in her ear, Max decided now was as good as time as any to introduce herself. Walking steady towards the two she was sidetracked by a glimpse of a rather small arm reaching up from under the command table towards a half finished glass of scotch. Bemused, Max watched as it slowly and stealthily inched closer and closer towards its target almost succeeding right before Max's own hand caught hold of it and pulled - hard.  
  
"Hey!" A voice yelped as a small form jumped up trying to lessen the pull on its arm.  
  
"Well, what have we got here," Max began. "Dalton! What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Partying like everyone else."  
  
"Don't you think you're a little young?"  
  
"Oh come on, Max. I'm X7. I'm not like a human kid. I've seen and done things that no normal kid would ever get to do in his entire lifetime. What's age got to do with it?"  
  
"That's beside the point," she said.  
  
"What are you? My Mother?" He countered.  
  
"Watch it or I'll smack you upside your head like a mother would if she was spoken to that way."  
  
"Oh come on, Max. Please?" he begged. "Pleeease?" He looked up at her again.  
  
Max knew she couldn't resist those eyes of his. "Just one," she relinquished. "Then off to bed. That's an order."  
  
"Yes, Mom," the small transgenic smirked at his own cheek.  
  
Max couldn't help but smile back while she watched him take a sip of the amber liquid and cough.  
  
"There. You can now cross that off your 'been there, done that' list," she told him.  
  
"'Don't know what all the fuss is about," he said before shrugging his shoulders and turning to leave.  
  
Max couldn't resist the urge and reached out and ruffled his hair before he left.  
  
Turning back into the room, she let her gaze wander back towards Alec only to find he and his female company gone.  
  
Max didn't look very hard. What Alec did with his own time was his own business, but she had to admit to herself that without him here she was feeling pretty much alone, isolated. She was trying to get into the partying mood, she really was, but it just wasn't happening. Others around her would nod in her direction every once in a while, a casual "heya Max" expression on their faces, but so far none of them chose to interact with her or bring her into their conversations.  
  
It's lonely at the top, Max mused.  
  
Staking out a quiet corner from which she could observe the festivities, Max settled in to keep an eye on everyone and ensure her troops enjoyed themselves while being responsible about it. She was surprised to be nudged some time later.  
  
"Hey. You passing out on me already?" A familiar friendly voice said, as Alec took a seat beside her.  
  
Max quickly looked up, not knowing how long she had dozed off, concern pushed far back into her mind that it wasn't at all like her to do such a thing, and discovered that things were pretty much the way she had last remembered seeing them, then surmising that she couldn't have been out of it for too long.  
  
"Too much to drink?" Alec asked looking down at her with a mixture of amusement and slight concern in his eyes.  
  
"Hardly," she answered while straightening herself up a bit. "I haven't had a drink all night."  
  
"Ah well, we have to remedy that," he said, as he reached down next to her and produced a pitcher of beer.  
  
"A pitcher of beer?" she smiled.  
  
He smiled back.  
  
"You brought me a pitcher of beer," she said her tone one of incredulity and sweetness.  
  
"I think I may recall something about you recently saying, and I quote, 'I'd do anything for a pitcher of beer'," he grinned devilishly at her, while beginning to pour her a glass.  
  
Max sat silently watching him as a burst of laughter came from over Mole and Dix's direction. She smiled.  
  
"You did good, Alec," she whispered as he handed her the now full chilled glass. "I wasn't too sure about all this at first. You still should've ran it by me, but it's just what these guys needed," she said as she once again cast her eyes around the room, and took a sip of the brew, pleased with what she saw.  
  
"'What the guys needed' wasn't really why I did all this," he said taking his own taste of the cool liquid and sighing deeply after he swilled it down. "I'm worried about you, Max," he said plainly and honestly after a while, while staring at his shoes.  
  
He was expecting some argument from her, some typically 'Max' comment like "yeah right, since when do you worry about anyone but yourself" or something similarly sarcastic or defensive or biting - the usual Max way.  
  
Instead, he got her small voice answering, in barely more than a whisper, "I'm fine."  
  
"Are you?" He pressed.  
  
"Yeah," she said, while hastily taking another sip of beer and silently praying she would be able to swallow it past the lump that had suddenly made its way into her throat.  
  
"I know it's not easy," he continued after a moment. "I know none of this is easy. I know it's not what you wanted. I know you feel responsible, even though you shouldn't. I know how much being leader of this bunch costs you. I know how much the raid at the warehouse and White killing seven of our guys cost you. I know you're scared, afraid and that you worry about our future."  
  
"You know all that, huh?" she tried to joke.  
  
"Yeah. I know all that. And I also know that you have to live a little, Max. Do something to take the load off every once and a while. Relax, kick back, chill out, hang loose whatever," he quipped while looking at her.  
  
"You wanna know what I know?" she asked turning to him, after thinking for a while.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That you really must have been the star pupil in 'common verbal usage' back at Manticore. Live a little? Take a load off? Kick back? Chill out? Hang loose?" She smirked.  
  
"Yeah, well."  
  
"Don't worry about me, Alec. I'm fine. Just a little tired, maybe, but-"  
  
"Do you miss him?" Alec asked suddenly, looking at her again.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you miss him? Logan. Do you miss Logan?"  
  
Max tried to open her mouth. She was thrown by the question. They hadn't talked about Logan in so long. She looked down, her long lashes partly concealing what was in her eyes.  
  
"The truth?" she added, after a long silence.  
  
Alec nodded.  
  
"Not as much as I should," she whispered. "He had to leave. He was in as much danger living inside Terminal City than he was living outside. I know it was the right thing to do. Besides, it's not like he has to stay in Canada forever."  
  
Alec watched her closely as her words trailed off and she lost herself in her own thoughts.  
  
"I guess I don't so much as miss Logan the man, as much as I miss what he was to me," she added softly after a while, a look of confusion on her face.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I miss having him here because he was someone I could rely on. He was always here for anything. He could pick me up when I was down; he was hopeful and optimistic when I needed him to be. He was a shoulder to cry on. A friend. I guess. I miss all that."  
  
Alec stared at her as she lowered her eyes, his heart breaking a little at her words. He reached over and cupped her chin in his hand, gently lifting her face so he could meet her eyes. "Max," he sighed. He wanted to tell her, to make her see what she couldn't, that he was trying to do and become everything she had just said and that she didn't need Logan.  
  
But he knew she wasn't ready for certain truths just yet.  
  
"See here?" he pointed. "One shoulder to cry on. Has your name on it," he smiled.  
  
She smiled weakly back.  
  
"Not to mention one damn fine ass to kick everyone once and a while." He joked trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"Well, now. That is an added bonus," Max joined in. "I knew there was a reason for why I like having you around."  
  
They both smiled took sips of their beers and looked around the room again. The party seemed to be winding down a little. No doubt the beer would run out fairly soon. A few would be nurses hangovers, albeit mild ones, tomorrow. It had been a good night.  
  
"Well come on boss," Alec said sharply, jumping up after downing the last dregs. "Time to tuck all these good little soldiers into bed."  
  
Max followed his lead and began to move towards the others, her mood somewhat lighter than it had been earlier on in the night. As she walked ahead of him, Alec reached out softly and placed his hand on her arm, stilling her. She turned to face him.  
  
"Max," he began awkwardly.  
  
She watched his face as he fought to say what was on his mind, intrigued as to what it was that had him so dumbstruck. He struggled for a moment, his mouth obviously not cooperating with his brain, before he sighed deeply, shrugged his shoulders and began to move on.  
  
"So about this 'I'd do anything for a pitcher of beer' claim of yours." he began as they continued to walk together.  
  
TBC  
  
Rhasa4@yahoo.com 


	5. Priorities

Title: Today 'They' Won the Battle part 5 Author: Rhasa Rating: PG-13 Category: Drama Keywords: Max and Alec developing relationship. Summary: Max learns to prioritise, organise and delegate, all the while fearing she'll make a mistake and get someone 'else' killed. Alec learns to accept responsibility. Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made. No infringement intended although some fun is. Feedback: Gee, what can I say? I'm a feedback junkie. Make my day Rhasa4@yahoo.com  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Thanks to all those souls who have read my other stuff and sent me warm and fuzzies.  
  
Today 'They' Won the Battle. By Rhasa  
  
Old habits die hard. That was just one of the things Max was thinking as she sat at the now occupied conference table in the early hours one morning in Terminal City. Who would have thought that Alec was a sucker for status reports.  
  
Prioritisation. Organisation. Delegation.  
  
She was surprised to find that Alec craved these things in Terminal City. But she couldn't blame him.  
  
"We need to make some sort of sense out of all this chaos, Max," he had said to her earlier that day after hearing the complaints of many fellow TC inhabitants. It had been two days since his little impromptu party in the command centre, where he had smuggled in a keg of beer and some alcohol. His gesture had lifted everyone's spirits, including Max's, but it was only temporary and soon forgotten in the day to day grind that they found themselves up against as they fought for survival amongst the ruins in their stronghold.  
  
Alec was making a name for himself. He had lead raids on warehouses, organised medical supplies, and seen to the morale of those around him. He was a getting a reputation as someone who got things done, someone who listened to the myriad of concerns that surrounded them and as someone who cared.  
  
It was natural that the others look towards him. He had been a unit leader whilst at Manticore; leadership skills were something someone usually had for life. For some unknown reason Alec exuded a gentle but persistant and unquestionable authority that had everyone, even Max, turning to him. She'd admitted to herself that she wasn't surprised. He had been resourceful since the day they met.  
  
"It's getting harder to accommodate everyone. With the influx of new transgenics everyday we are running low on everything. We need to prioritise, organise, delegate," he sighed.  
  
"Tell me something I don't know," she had replied brusquely.  
  
"Look, these people are used to living rough, doing it tough. But if we're going to have any kind of chance of seeing this through, then we have to organise better. The raids have been somewhat successful-" he saw Max blanch at his words knowing that she felt the loss of seven transgenics on one of those so called raids anything but successful, "but we can do better."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Get everyone together," she had said. "It's time to lay down some long term plans."  
  
They had been at it for just under four hours. The never empty command centre, buzzed and hummed as a group pounded out the most urgent of issues that required action to ensure their survival. Max sighed, and stretched a little in her seat. She had admitted to those before her that she was someone who preferred action to talk, but recognised the necessity for having this meeting, despite secretly fearing she wouldn't be able to remain in her seat for long.  
  
Before her sat Alec, Mole, Dix, Luke, Travis and Kyra, those transgenics whom Max felt were most useful, and who at sometime, since this whole mess began, had put themselves in charge of one thing or another. Mole was the self proclaimed munitions and weapon procurer, Dix handled communications, Luke helped with food distribution and perimeter security and Kyra ran the infirmary. Travis was a relative newcomer and had appointed himself as accommodation officer. All of them had pressing concerns. All of them had a list of requests. All of them were beginning to run out of patience and Max had a headache.  
  
"I'll say it again, our first priority has to be defence," Mole roared, spittle flying out of his mouth. "We don't know when those outside are coming over those walls, we've been lucky they've kept their distance so far, but believe me, they 'are' coming. We have to be prepared. We have to arm ourselves. Our first priority is weapons and ammunition."  
  
"A lot of good weapons and ammunitions are going to be to us if our people starve to death first," Luke huffed in response. "We need food. Stuff that we can store, that will last. And we need some sort of mess hall. That's the fairest way of distributing it. I know of X5's on Oak that are hoarding. I think if we allow that to continue things could get ugly really quick."  
  
"You're worrying about what's for dinner, when you should be worried about a bullet to the head," Mole sneered at him.  
  
"What makes you think they're going to attack? They have waited this long. I think it is a pretty safe bet that their current strategy is to starve us out. We need food!" Luke yelled as he slammed his fist down on the table in pure frustration.  
  
"Okay! That's enough!" Max stood abruptly, after having her fill of the seemingly endless debate. "We've been going over all this for nearly four hours now. We've discussed everything from weapons and food to the need for training classes, a gym and a daycare centre. Rome wasn't built in a day, people. I think we'll have to agree that there are some things that are equally important." She sighed and raised a hand to her right temple, her frustration and fatigue closely watched by Alec who remained silent as he had done for the last hour or so. "There is no reason why we can't set food and weapons as our joint first priorities. Mole I know you already have some knowledge of just what kind of firepower we have here in Terminal City. I'm betting you already have a detailed shopping list on you as well."  
  
"You betcha," he smirked.  
  
"Well then, assemble a team of five to ten and go for it. I prefer you were discreet. No knocking off the Seattle Police armoury that'll just piss them off more and they'd definitely see that as a threat, if not an all out attack. I'm sure you could find less honourable targets. Drug cartels, the Seattle Marfia, hell, they'll likely have more firepower than the police anyway. Be careful. I'd prefer if we didn't make the heads of the underworld the latest 'kill the freaks' fans. In fact, try buying most of what you need first, though I doubt anyone will want to deal with us once they know where the guns are headed."  
  
"I'll use Tony, X5, as the front man. He's got Canadian connections. I can get about half of what I want through purchasing, though knowing how desperate we are, the dealers are most likely gonna double, maybe triple the usual asking price."  
  
"Fine. Do the best you can. Just keep in mind the image we are trying to create for ourselves here. We are not looking for trouble, but we'll be damned if we're not going to defend ourselves if the need arises."  
  
"Oh the need will arise for sure. That's one thing I can guarantee," he said as he relaxed a bit back into his chair now that he had essentially got permission to do what he was going to do all along anyway.  
  
Max nodded at his warning and turned towards Luke.  
  
"Luke, where are food supplies at at the moment?"  
  
"I couldn't tell you for sure," he looked sullen. "As I said some are hoarding but that's their own stuff, supplies they obtained on their own before the siege began. As for the supplies we gained during the first raid, we are short. I mean, maybe three or four days, but even then I don't know. More and more seem to be turning up everyday. It's hard to plan a party when you don't even know how many guests are going to show up, if you know what I mean."  
  
"It sounds to me like we need some kind of census," Alec offered, back in the conversation once more.  
  
"Yeah, that would help. Just knowing how many of us there are would go a long way in planning for how long we can last on the supplies we get," Luke looked hopefully at Alec.  
  
Sitting up straighter in his chair, Travis piped in, "A census is a great idea. If I know numbers I can plan the accommodations a bit better. I have some quarters where four or five are bunking down, other's with two - usually mating partners - and some are still without digs altogether. Knowing who wants to go where and with what would also help. I mean the canines don't like the smell of the felines and vice versa." he trailed off.  
  
"Great, it's not enough that we have to steal everything just to survive from day to day but now we have to worry about personality clashes as well?" Mole slurred.  
  
"Fine," Max announced, essentially ignoring Mole and turning to her right. "Alec, you and Luke will coordinate for another raid for food. I'm sure there is going to be some special dietary requirements as well." She looked at Luke again. "Am I right?"  
  
"Yeah. We've got only meat eaters, non meat eaters, some of us require live prey, chickens, mice things like that-"  
  
"Well thank god for the rats around here then," Mole chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, but with the numbers we have here, soon even the rats are going to run out," Luke hissed back at him not appreciating his little joke.  
  
"Gross," Alec mouthed silently to Max.  
  
"Luke," Max shouted, regaining his attention once more. "Co ordinate with Alec, get a list of basic food stuffs that we'll need. If we are going to make another hit we want to ensure it will be useful stuff we're getting." She turned back to Alec once more," You let me know when and what you're going after, assemble a team, you know what to do. Just don't go in until you clear it with me first."  
  
Alec was about to protest. This was a job he could certainly handle, but he understood that ever since the last raid, since they had walked into a trap set by White, that Max was going to overly cautious. She couldn't stand to lose more men. Instead of protesting and stepping on her toes, he simply reassured her.  
  
"You got it, boss," he said cheerfully.  
  
Still turned to him, Max continued. "After the raid, after the pressing issue of the immediate food shortage is addressed we'll get a census going. You'll be in charge of that too, Alec. If there is one person in this whole forsaken place that all groups seem to equally tolerate, it's you. People feel they can approach you, feel that they can talk to you. And if there's anyone who can get 'information' out of anyone it's you."  
  
"Must be my winning personality or something," he joked.  
  
"Or something." she joked back, a small smile playing on her lips, grateful that at least one of them was optimistic about all this.  
  
Turning back to the group, Max left the table and began walking around a little. "I think the next priority should be Kyra's medical requirements." She stopped opposite the other woman. "Kyra, you did an amazing job a few weeks ago pulling all those people through after White. after White's. attack. " She faltered at the painful memory of that day.  
  
"I wish I could have done more," the woman whispered sadly.  
  
"There was honestly nothing more you could have done," Max tried to reassure her, hearing the very same words Alec had shared with her.  
  
"There are still others, sick, or injured. Some have conditions I have never even seen before and don't have the first clue about treating. We have eleven pregnant females who have had no ante natal care whatsoever." Kyra shook her head, overcome with what obviously was even more concerning medical matters but completely unable to voice them right now.  
  
"What do you need?" Max asked.  
  
"A real doctor," Kyra said bluntly.  
  
"I don't think that's going to be-" Max began before Kyra cut her off.  
  
"You had a doctor friend on the outside, didn't you Max?"  
  
"Yeah. His name was Sam. But he was a friend of Logan's. He did Logan some favours. Guess one of those favours was me."  
  
"Maybe he would be willing to help us."  
  
"I don't see how."  
  
"Supplies, medications, maybe he could take a look at some of the people still in the infirmary. Hell, even a few textbooks would help. I'm flying blind here, Max."  
  
"It's a hell of a lot to ask the guy," Dix offered. "Not only would it be a momentous task smuggling him in here, I don't think scaling an eight foot high fence is something he'd be particularly skilled at. Then there's always the risk of exposure to the biohazards, and exposure in the sense that if anyone discovered that he was helping us his life outside would be pretty much over, not to mention the lives of his family."  
  
"Well, maybe just supplies then."  
  
"Why can't we just raid a medical warehouse?" Alec asked an obvious question.  
  
"We could, but the stuff you'd get would be next to useless if I don't know how to use it. There's so much more I still have to know." Kyra sighed heavily. Max could tell that the young woman before her was tired.  
  
"We'll do our best," she tried to reassure her. "For now, make a 'shopping list' of all the things you need and all the things you think you need. I'll set a team on it. That's it for now. We'll put a time on these requests. Lists, plans of assault and execution of all raids should be completed within three days. Agreed?"  
  
"Agreed," the rest of them muttered as they all made moves to leave.  
  
"It's like Christmas, people," Alec announced cheerfully, rising to his feet. "We're making our lists and checking them twice."  
  
"Only this time, we're going to be naughty not nice," Max joked back. "Let me know when any team is going out so we can watch your back. Be careful and good luck."  
  
****  
  
Alec felt as ridiculous as he looked. Clipboard in hand all he needed was a shirt and tie or a telephone headset and his transformation into his former boss "Normal" would be complete. He was never one for administrative duties. His sword, or in his case his back kick, was always mightier than the pen. Still, he knew why he was stuck with the job of collecting the census, he was the one to have suggested it in the first place, but no time during his suggestion did he imagine that he would be the one to handle the monotony of compiling population data. He wished he could have said that it was a nice change from the danger of successful warehouse raids, the like of which he had pulled off only a few days before, but truth be told, he was an action-rather-than-talk kind of guy, much the same as Max was.  
  
As he turned down towards Oak street to begin the data collection of the largest concentrated groups of X5's, Alec smiled at the thought of Max. She had shown great strength and leadership this week as she had pulled everyone together, just as Alec knew she could. Mole had successfully procured around two-thirds of the weapons he had desired. Alec thought he was a little "too gun-ho" as he helped unload the crates of arms and munitions from one of the *two* semi trailers that Mole had commandeered. Still he was happy that one of the two main priorities the group had set had been met with the minimal amount of fuss. Alec's food and supply raid with Luke went off without a hitch, well, only if you could say that having an all out screaming match with Max about her involvement just prior to the hit was not a hitch.  
  
All he had said to her was, "No way."  
  
"Alec!" she yelled back at him.  
  
"No way, Max. You're not coming," he threw over his shoulder at her as he walked towards the stairs.  
  
"Well, you really can't stop me, can you," she screamed and huffed, as she had picked up her bag and chased after him.  
  
Alec didn't want to start anything with her at the moment, not with all eyes in the command centre trained on them. He spun around and closed the distance between them, leaning down to whisper, through clenched teeth. "You said, 'assemble a team, you know what to do', Alec. Well, I did that Max. We're going and there's no need for you to come along. Someone has to stay here and co ordinate the others. You know that."  
  
"I'm coming. End of story," she hissed in her usual stubborn can't-tell-me- what-to-do- kind of way. As she went to move past him, she was stopped by his hand suddenly gripping her arm.  
  
"Let go of me, you big ape," she yelled, while punching him in the shoulder.  
  
Alec ignored her struggles. "I'm not going to let you do this, Max. I'm not going to let you relive the raid we did a few weeks ago. This isn't a trap. We've planned this for days. White's not going to be there. We're going to be fine. Let it go. Let me go," he said even quieter as he began to relax his grip on her. "Trust me, Max," he whispered.  
  
She looked up at him, his eyes piercing hers, detecting a hint of moisture in her brown depths. She sighed, "I do trust you, Alec."  
  
"Then you know I can do this."  
  
"I know that. but if anything should happen, if something were to go wrong and I wasn't there. if I wasn't there to watch your back.," she looked down uncomfortably at the floor. "I could never. I would never forgive myself, if something happened to you, Alec," she whispered, raising her eyes to meet his again.  
  
His stomach did a flip at her words. She was afraid for him. He knew she took too much of the responsibility for the loss of lives at the last raid, he knew that it haunted her. But now she was admitting that it was something a little more personal that fuelled her desire to go along.  
  
He pulled her against him in a hug, not caring who was watching and what they thought. She was scared and he'd try to reassure her any way he could. "Nothing's going to happen, Max," he said as he stood there holding her close and stroking her hair. "I'll be right back," he promised.  
  
And true to his word, he was.  
  
They'd only been gone two hours. Some sort of speed record for the size of the raid they did. But two hours was apparently long enough for Max to work herself into such a worried state that made Alec think she was just about to keel over when he got a look at her on his return. She was at the dock to meet them as the trucks pulled up. Alec had caught a glimpse of her biting her fingernails as he rounded the corner, a part of him thinking she was somewhat "adorable" for her concern.  
  
Pleased with himself, not only for the stuffs they had effortlessly acquired, but also for his speedy return, he jumped down from the trucks with quite a self satisfied, shit-eating grin on his face, wondering, just slightly, if Max would welcome him with a hug.  
  
Boy he couldn't have been further off the mark.  
  
He turned, after giving orders to a group of workers on what to unload, only to catch a right hook in the jaw. He hadn't seen it, or 'her', coming.  
  
"What the-" he began, as he rubbed the tender spot.  
  
"You missed your last radio check in," an irate Max yelled at him.  
  
"I'm happy to see you too, Max."  
  
"You were supposed to call in at zero, two hundred," she hissed.  
  
"Everything was going fine. That last check in was only fifteen minutes ago. We thought we'd maintain radio silence for a few more minutes since we'd be back here much quicker than we had originally intended. We had a window."  
  
"That's not the point," she said, hands on hips.  
  
"What's the point?" he asked, moving past her, heading towards the command centre.  
  
"You had me worried, Alec. After what we talked about before you left, I was worried."  
  
Her words instantly made him feel guilty. Perhaps he had been too wrapped up in his own success. He hadn't really thought about her worrying back at base. They had just been so close to getting back and every radio communication was a risk, most likely being monitored by the Seattle police and other outside forces.  
  
He turned back to face her. Her eyes were flashing with concern and anger. He really had scared her. "I'm sorry," he said softly.  
  
She stood and stared at him, a silence between them drawing out far too long for Alec's liking. As Alec watched her, he wondered if a worried Max wasn't worse than an angry Max.  
  
"I'm sorry, Max," he said again, his words breaking whatever spell had fallen over her.  
  
"Whatever," she replied gruffly, before moving quickly past him. "Get your ass to the command centre. You've got a census to organise and conduct."  
  
***  
  
Now, two days into his new task, as he shuffled the completed 'details' forms inside his folder, he couldn't quite figure out if Max was punishing him by giving him this little census detail so soon after his return for the stunt he had pulled or if she truly believed what she had said. "If there is one person in this whole forsaken place that all groups seem to equally tolerate, it's you. People feel they can approach you, feel that they can talk to you. And if there's anyone who can get 'information' out of anyone it's you," she had said. But despite whatever confidence she had in him, hers words were proving to be easier said than done.  
  
It wasn't long after he began that he had found that quite a few of the inhabitants of Terminal City tended to move around a lot. He thought he was seeing things as he kept running into the same people over and over again, but alas, many transhumans simply liked to keep on the move, and who could blame them after their static stay at Manticore for so long. So they simply stayed in the one place for a few nights then picked up and moved on to another. It was problematic, but not something Alec couldn't overcome and there were advantages to the job. Alec had managed to catch up with half a dozen "buddies" from Manticore. He had even located two members of his former unit which left him thinking how remarkable it was that they all seemed to have congregated here. But two out of twelve wasn't such a great number and it still left him wondering about the rest.  
  
As he walked closer towards Oak Street he wondered just who else he might find. With new arrivals everyday there was a small possibility that others he had known back at Manticore had just come in.  
  
He knew he had entered so called "X5 terroritory" with the noticeable cleanliness of the streets. If it was one thing most X5's were used to it was KP and garbage control. Most of them thrived on order and discipline and Alec was not surprised to find that this extended to their digs in terminal City as well.  
  
He had had word that there was something like eighteen X5's bunking down in the area, but after only two hours Alec knew that that number was severely underestimated. So far he had counted twenty-three adults and two infants and he still had more than half the district to go. He suddenly felt for Luke, knowing what the transhuman was up against with the job of trying to feed this motley bunch without knowing just how many of them there were.  
  
Approaching a free standing building close to the centre of Oak street, Alec paused as he was about to knock on the door. The gesture of announcing his prescence and introducing himself and his purpose to those who did not know him, or who did not know him all that well, reminded him of something people used to call 'door-to-door salesmen', a thing of American's consumer driven past. Instead of selling a product, some could draw the comparison that Alec was selling an idea and hope. A hope of things coming together, a cohesiveness that had eluded them since their escape at Manticore, not to mention a sense of belonging and inclusion. He paused and smiled, maybe this thing was going to work afterall.  
  
He raised his hand and knocked, only to find, somewhat surprisingly, that the door was not its hinges but merely resting up against the frame and having it come crashing down inside the entrance way. The noise was enough to wake the dead and almost immediately a woman appeared and stood before him looking anxious.  
  
"Hi. Sorry about that," Alec gestured to the fallen door. The young woman looked at him but didn't seem to be bothered too much about the door, so Alec just continued.  
  
"Hi," he said again. "I'm-"  
  
"Alec. I know," she said softly, staring intently at him.  
  
"Oh. Okay. I'm here to-"  
  
"Collect data for a census."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I was told you were coming by," she said, still looking at him a little strangely. Alec couldn't escape the feeling that he had grown two heads or something. The way she was studying him, scrutinising him, made him feel like a bug under a magnifying glass. "Do you want to come in?" she asked finally, stepping aside to allow him better access.  
  
Alec took a few steps forward. He had seen cleaner digs in his day. Hell, even that hellhole of an apartment that he had 'liberated' from Brain was better than this. Judging by the state of the place, Alec surmised that it hadn't been inhabited for very long.  
  
"I just moved in," the young woman said, as if reading his mind. "I only came in at the beginning of the week. I've got my work cut out for me, I know."  
  
"Oh, I don't know," Alec began, sweeping his eyes across the room. "A dust pan, broom, and mop would make a hell of a difference to this place."  
  
Alec looked up at her again and saw that the young woman was slightly smiling at his words. She reached up and took a bandana off her hair, allowing her brown tresses to fall and almost reach her shoulder, and for the first time since they'd met a flash of recognition passed through Alec's mind.  
  
"Hey, do I know you?" he asked.  
  
"Maybe," she said, suddenly shifting uncomfortably. "Manticore was a big place."  
  
"Tell me about it," he joked. "I guess I didn't really know how big, until I started this little exercise," he said as he held up his census folder. "Maybe we trained together?" He asked, intent on finding out just why it was that this young woman was jarring some long lost memory that he couldn't quite put his finger on.  
  
"Perhaps we did," she said, suddenly turning away from him and picking up the door to lean it once again against the door frame.  
  
"Your designation was?" Alec asked, hoping that he could at least recognise her serial number.  
  
"They call me Mary now," she said turning back to him. "I prefer Mary."  
  
"I understand." Alec paused to look at her once more, similar to the way she had looked at him. It was becoming obvious that they had met before, but when the answers to that particular mystery had not presented themselves, Alec went back to the task at hand. "Well, Mary, I guess you won't mind if I ask you a few questions."  
  
"No," she said. "Fire away."  
  
Like a true administrator, Alec got out his trusty census form and a pencil. "Well, for name, I'm putting down Mary," he began, talking more to himself than to her. "You arrived this week. Are you planning on making this your semi permanent residence during your stay in Terminal City?"  
  
"It'll do for now," she said softly.  
  
"Any other-" He began to ask the next question only to be interrupted by a soft crying in an adjacent room.  
  
'Mary' left for a moment, while Alec tried to crane his neck around the corner. She returned in a few seconds carrying the answer to his question.  
  
"Occupants?" he continued. "I'll put down a 'yes' for that."  
  
He watched as she adjusted the small bundle in her arms, a small hand protruding from the blankets, as she tried to comfort it.  
  
"The baby's name?" Alec asked. "We have to include it on the census. It will help us with our planning, you know, food, supplies, diapers."  
  
"It's a boy. Josiah," she said. "His name is Josiah, but I call him Jed."  
  
"Okay. Jed," he said taking down the particular detail on his form.  
  
"Do you want to see him?" Mary asked suddenly stepping closer to Alec.  
  
Slightly put off by the unexpected question, Alec stepped back and began uncomfortably, "Um, no, that's okay." But as Mary moved closer he couldn't help but acquiesce.  
  
She pulled the blanket back so Alec could first see the golden brown hair of the baby boy before him, then turned him slightly in her embrace so Alec could better see the face.  
  
His eyes. The baby's eyes.  
  
Alec's mouth fell open out of surprise. He turned to look at Mary, and then back to the baby. His heart began to beat faster as he continued to stare at the small helpless infant, unable to break away. Without really remembering how, Mary placed the baby into his arms. Once again he looked up at the mother everything finally fell into place as he realised he recognised her after all.  
  
Those deep green eyes of the child before him.  
  
"I was one of your breeding partners, back at Manticore," she said, finally. "This is your son."  
  
Tbc  
  
Feedback would be great and may just make me write the next part faster Rhasa4@yahoo.com 


	6. To everything turn

Title: Today 'They' Won the Battle part 6 Author: Rhasa Rating: PG-13 Category: Drama Keywords: Max and Alec developing relationship. Summary: Alec receives some shocking news. Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made. No infringement intended although some fun is. Feedback: Gee, what can I say? I'm a feedback junkie. Make my day Rhasa4@yahoo.com  
  
Today 'They' won the Battle Part 6 By Rhasa  
  
Max knew it had been too good to be true.  
  
"I thought you said you could trust him."  
  
"I did. Well, at least Alec said I could trust him. He's dealt with the guy a few times before, mostly as a tryptophan supplier, with no problems. It was supposed to be a sure thing."  
  
"So what went wrong?"  
  
"I don't know. He was just a no show. At first I thought he may have been picked up by the sector police, they've just been looking for black market operatives, hoping to nail them for dealin' with us. But then I heard that a shipment similar to ours was being off loaded at the docks to the Korean gang. Word has it, they had quite a street war with the Seattle Mafia two nights ago. Two dozen or more casualties. 'Guess they needed a few bandages," he said sarcastically. "They could probably offer him double what we were offering. I think we've been screwed."  
  
"Screwed is right."  
  
"Kyra's all bent out of shape about it. She caught me coming back in. I had to tell her, Max. I swear she was just about ready to faint when she heard the word."  
  
"She's doing it tough."  
  
"Yeah, I know." "We need those medical supples, damn it. More than anyone else does. Go pay our friendly dealer a little visit. See if you can't 'persuade' him to come up with another shipment - at a discounted rate of course - for, you know, 'customer inconvenience'. If that doesn't work, we may have to pay the Koreans a little visit."  
  
Luke nodded and turned to leave  
  
"Oh and if you see Alec, tell him I want to have a word," Max growled.  
  
Max waited until after dark but still no sign of Alec. He was supposed to have reported back, after his latest census taking exercise, more than six hours ago. His apparent disappearing act, for no one had seen him since earlier that morning, had done nothing to quell Max's anger. She couldn't afford to have problems with their black market suppliers at the moment. Alec was a big part of keeping that side of things running smoothly.  
  
Max had allowed her anger to build inside of her for most of the day. The demands and frustrations of running a place like terminal City seemed to be getting to her yet again. Try as she might to remind herself that there may be a perfectly reasonable explanation for Alec's black marketeer to stiff them, she couldn't help but feel somehow that it was all Alec's fault. She knew Alec was an easy target for her bad moods; she knew that of late he had come through for her more times than he had screwed up, but none of that mattered as she trudged down to Oak Street looking for him after dark, in hope of giving him a piece of her mind.  
  
It didn't take her long to track him down to a rather dilapidated looking house in the bustling X5 district. There was much talk around just what Max and the others in charge were hoping to achieve by collecting all the information Alec had been asking for; many keen to give Max their opinion as she wandered the streets. Some were sceptical that a census could prove to be very useful, others were glad to see some sense of real organisation was getting underway. After nearly an hour of fielding comments and questions, Max was finally pointed to the house where Alec was seen entering hours before.  
  
"Alec?" she called tentatively as she stepped through the front door.  
  
"Max," he whispered, in a surprised tone.  
  
"Just where the hell have you been all day? You were supposed to check in, oh, seven hours ago. What the hell have you-"  
  
"Will you keep it down!" He whispered again.  
  
"No. I will not keep it down!" She yelled louder. "I was beginning to get-"  
  
"Just be quiet okay!" "No it's not okay. Luke went out for the medical supplies. It seems the contact you set him up with was a no show-"  
  
"Max!"  
  
"What?" she barked, as she watched him move silently back towards a door that obviously led to the bedroom and crane his head in that direction, as if listening hard for something.  
  
Max felt her anger return to her full force. If he had a girl sleeping back there she was going to give it to him full force.  
  
"You've got someone sleeping back there haven't you?" she sneered.  
  
"Ah, yeah," he admitted. "You could say that. But-"  
  
"And this is why you haven't come back, why you haven't checked in."  
  
"Max, I can explain-"  
  
"Your first duty is to. to. hell, I don't know what we should call ourselves. Your first duty is to the committee."  
  
"The committee?"  
  
"Yeah. That's what I'm calling us for now. The committee. Me, Kyra, Luke, Dix, Mole hell even Travis. All of us who are trying to work together to run this place. The committee. Your duty is to us-"  
  
"Max, you've got it all wrong-"  
  
"You don't see the rest of us slackin' off. We don't take personal time. We don't have time to take personal time, let alone time to come down to Oak Street and-"  
  
"It's not what you think," he said, his voice growing louder.  
  
"Oh right. Next you're gonna say 'she meant nothing to you'!"  
  
"Well she did mean nothing to me, but it's still not what you think-"  
  
"I thought I could trust you, Alec," Max hissed.  
  
"You can trust me."  
  
"I need to be able to count on you, I need for you to be where you say you're going to be-" "Max, you can count on me, I will be wherever you want me to be. Look at me," he said, gently gripping her upper arms and turning her to face him. He took a deep breath and was glad that at long last she wasn't interrupting him. Maybe now he would get a chance to explain.  
  
"I have a small problem," he sighed, while he looked deep into her eyes. "I came down, and was doing the census, but then I met this girl, her name is Mary. Anyway-"  
  
It wasn't Max who interrupted him this time, but the small cries of the boy he now knew of as 'Jed' coming from a back bedroom. He dropped his head and sighed. Just his luck. Jed hadn't woken when Max had been bellowing minutes before, but now it seemed the quiet was the thing that had unsettled him.  
  
"That's a baby back there," Max said in confusion.  
  
"Yeah," he sighed again. "Hang on."  
  
Max watched as Alec went towards the sound of the infant, noticing that his shoulders slumped as he turned away from her. He returned just a few seconds later carrying a small bundle over his shoulder patting the baby's back in a strong, yet soothing rhythm.  
  
Max couldn't help it. The sight before her was too bizarre. A small smile broke out across her face as she watched Alec sooth the baby's cries using sounds, pats and soft words.  
  
"You're a natural," she said as the baby seemed to settle.  
  
"Oh God, that is *so* the wrong thing to say to me right now."  
  
"Is it a boy or a girl?" Max said keenly interested in this latest development, her anger seemingly forgotten.  
  
"A boy. Jed."  
  
"So what.. are you babysitting or something?" She asked craning her neck to get a better look at Alec's small charge.  
  
"Something like that, I think."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Well I thought I was, but now I'm starting to think something else is going on here."  
  
"What do you mean? Can I hold him?" she asked the two questions in the same breath.  
  
Alec silently told himself that he would never quite understand what is was about women and babies.  
  
"Um, yeah. Here," he said as he carefully passed the bundle to Max.  
  
She was the one who was a natural, he thought to himself, as he watched her cradle the baby in her arms and start a soothing sway. He was actually enjoying the sight before him, before Max suddenly stopped and quietly gasped. She looked up at him and then back to the baby, dashing whatever hope Alec had of there being no truth in the claim that Mary had made to him earlier. It was undeniable. Max could see the resemblance just as he had.  
  
"Alec."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"His eyes. They're..they're-"  
  
"My eyes."  
  
Max looked at him a look of confusion and concern crossing her face.  
  
"I was trying to tell you," he began. "I came down here to do the census. I met a girl. She calls herself Mary. She looked so familiar, you know? Anyway, she starts answering my census questions and then bam! She drops this little bombshell on me. She says that he's mine."  
  
"Yours?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Yours, how?"  
  
"Mine, as in, she-was-my-breeding-partner, mine."  
  
"Your breeding partner?" Max asked, practically choking on the words.  
  
"That's what she said," he sighed, as his shoulders drooped under an imaginary weight.  
  
Max stood still, trying hard to absorb everything Alec was telling her. "I don't know what to say," she whispered, after a few moments.  
  
"That makes two of us."  
  
"Where is she now?" Max asked.  
  
"She's gone, Max. She left. She said something about getting some formula for the baby. But that was like five hours ago. I think... I think she's abandoned him."  
  
Max looked up into Alec's eyes. "You don't know that."  
  
"No. But that's what my gut is telling me. It was the way she was looking at me. At him. It was the way she left. She asked if I would look after him while she went and got formula. She said, she wouldn't be long. I told her that I didn't know, but she said, "you *are* his father," and I couldn't refuse. I said I would look after him for a while and then she." he faltered, looing down at the ground.  
  
"What?" Max prodded.  
  
"She.. She said goodbye to him."  
  
"So? She's his mother. What did you expect her to say?"  
  
"No. Max, you don't understand. It was the way she said it. It was the way she looked at him. It was the way she left. It was like she was going..forever."  
  
Max looked down into the eyes of baby Jed; the infant's green and gold orbs both reassuring and disturbing at the same time.  
  
A child.  
  
Alec's child.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Alec asked, tentatively, glad that Max was here to share his little "problem".  
  
"We wait."  
  
"We wait? Max, didn't you hear what I just said? I think he's been abandoned."  
  
"I heard you, but... well, I'm not convinced. A mother doesn't just abandon her baby. Not if she can help it," she said, sadness tinging her words. "We'll wait. You'll see. Mary, his mother, she'll come back."  
  
"Max-" Alec began, intending to argue with her to see reason.  
  
"This is her child. She's his mother. We'll wait. She'll come back," she said.  
  
TBC Only if enough people ask.  
  
Author's Note: Okay so those of you who know me, then you know that I only write for feedback. That is, if I don't get enough feedback or requests I will shamelessly abandon a story. Which is pretty much what I did with this series until I received some very nice words from a few individuals saying they "had to know what happened". This is for you guys.  
  
Feedback greatly appreciated at Rhasa4@yahoo.com or just push that review button.  
  
Also for those of you who know me, then you know how scathing I am of 'babyfics'. I hate them. Loathe them and haven't read a good DA 'baby fic' yet (there's a challenge to all you writers out there. Write a 'believable' babyfic. Is there such a thing? And if anyone knows of a good one that I haven't read, tell me about it).  
  
So let me put your minds to rest. THIS IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE A BABYFIC. The introduction of Jed is just a means to an ends - sorry Jed.  
  
And yes the plot thickens.  
  
Lastly, those of you who know me also know that I take requests. Quite a few of your suggestions I write into my stories. Mind you, there a quite a few of your suggestions that never make it into my stories. It just depends on what I have going on at any one time. Nevertheless, I am eager to please, so if you have something you desperately want to see, you could always try me and I will see what I can do.  
  
No promises though  
  
Until next time.. Maybe..  
  
Rhasa 


	7. Facing Facts

Title: Today "They" Won the Battle Part 7  
  
Author: Rhasa  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Keywords: Max/Alec developing relationship.  
  
Category: Drama  
  
Spoilers: None really  
  
Summary: Max faces facts. Alec faces responsibility. While the Transgenic ask themselves, what it is that they are really trying to achieve?  
  
Disclaimer: I bought these characters at a garage sale for a pretty decent price. They just needed dusting off. You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Why on earth James Cameron and Charles Eglee ever gave these up, is beyond me. But really, not mine, no money being made, no infringement intended etc etc etc.  
  
Author's Notes: Okay... Hmmmmmm. Yes I know you guys won't believe me when I keep writing Max/Alec developing relationship, but it is, I promise. I guess I wanted to make it a bit more realistic than the wham bam thankyou Max's I read out there.  
  
Feedback: I like to hear from strangers who read my stuff. I especially like to hear why people like it. When someone hates it, it's usually because they think I don't get to the smut quick enough. If that's what you're after better bail now, because there'll be no smut here - at least not yet. Rhasa4@yahoo.com  
  
Today "They" Won the Battle Part 7 (Facing Facts) By Rhasa  
  
"Face facts, Max. The mother isn't coming back," Mole huffed at the petite self-appointed leader.  
  
"We don't know that," Max replied, in an agitated tone.  
  
"Sure we do. It's been two days hasn't it?"  
  
If ever Max wanted to wipe the smug grin from Mole's face it was now. In her opinion, his theories as to the fate of 'Mary', Alec's ex-breeding partner and mother of his son, was none of the transhuman's business. This was a private matter. And Max had hoped to keep it that way, until Joshua brought a sleeping Jed to the command centre and enquired about diapers in front of everyone.  
  
To give them credit, Mole, Dix, Luke and Kyra weren't all too surprised by the news that another result of Manticore's breeding program had turned up. Four infants had been born inside Terminal City since the beginning of the siege, not including Gem's, which it can be argued, had started this whole mess. No doubt with the way Manticore had tried to rebuild their genetic data and program, there would be more babies out there somewhere.  
  
The presence of this next generation and their future had yet to be tackled head on. Although they were the first, they surely wouldn't be the last, with females coming into heat and strange relationships forming amongst the inhabitants of Terminal City. If she was honest with herself, Max would admit that she had tried to push the problem to the back of her mind. Their first priority was to survive today. Long term plans, the future, had pretty much taken a back seat. She'd guessed Jed's arrival would change all that.  
  
"Dix, any word on the scanners?" Max asked, momentarily turning away from the verbal showdown she had been having with Mole for the past ten minutes or so.  
  
"Nope. As far as we can tell, there hasn't been any Transgenics arrested," Dix sighed, disappointment tinging his voice.  
  
"Maybe she got nabbed for something and they don't yet realise she's transgenic," Luke suggested.  
  
"Nah. We hacked into the police database. There were no matches for someone of her description. The police haven't got her," said Dix.  
  
Mole smiled. "Which means, she's done a runner, Max. She's abandoned him," he said with sarcastic glee.  
  
"No. I refuse to believe that."  
  
"You refuse to believe?" Mole spat in an incredulous tone. "What's so hard to believe?"  
  
Max looked at him, refusing to accept the scenario Mole was providing, and stated, "I can't believe a mother would willingly abandon her baby like that."  
  
"What you mean is, that you can't believe *your* mother abandoned you like that," Mole challenged.  
  
"What?" Max asked, in bewilderment. "This is not about *my* mother."  
  
"Whatever you have to tell yourself. But I know you X series better than you think.," Mole stated plainly. "You're not the first to wonder why your surrogate didn't try to find you, or why they abandoned you to Manticore. Your not the first X series to think that and you won't be the last. You all seem to have this misguided belief that your mothers were innocent victims in the pathetic story of your existence."  
  
"What are you saying?" Alec asked stepping forward and into the debate for the first time. It was no surprise that Jed's arrival had unsettled him somewhat.  
  
"I'm saying, that Max is allowing her personal feelings to cloud her judgement, that's what I'm saying."  
  
"I'm doing no such thing," Max cried.  
  
"Aren't you?" Mole asked.  
  
"No," she declared while firmly crossing her arms in front of her.  
  
"Good, then let's end this charade once and for all and do the right thing," Mole said, as he jumped down from the command table where he had been sitting.  
  
"Which is?" Alec asked.  
  
"Snap his neck."  
  
"Are you insane?" Max cried.  
  
"No. Are you?" Mole deadpanned.  
  
"You can't be serious," Kyra added.  
  
"I'm perfectly serious," Mole declared as he took a quick drag on his cigar. "Look around you. We're trapped in here. Trapped in Terminal City. This is no place to raise a child with or without its mother and anyone raised in the hell called Manticore would recognise the truth in what I'm saying."  
  
"This isn't Manticore," Max said.  
  
"Isn't it? Well, with the dark depressing conditions, the training, all the armoury and munitions, rations and details going on, not to mention a hundred or so soldiers on our doorstep, trigger happy and more than a little keen to storm in here and mow us all down with semi automatics, it's pretty damn close."  
  
Max couldn't help wince at Mole's accurate assessment of their current home. "We made it, through a childhood full of that. So can he," she asserted.  
  
"Not without his mother he can't. What are you going to do, Max? Whip out your own titty for the sprog to suck on in between raids? Or does that honour belong to someone else," he said looking directly at Alec.  
  
"Hey!" Alec yelled angrily, while stepping forward only to be restrained by Max's arm.  
  
"What if we have to evacuate suddenly?" Mole continued, unperturbed by Alec's challenging stance. "Or worse still what if they do decide to take us out? The humane thing to do would be to end it for him now, not leave it up to a stray bullet in the middle of a gun battle as he toddles across the compound unattended!" He shouted.  
  
"He's one of us," Max said, the quietness of her words momentarily stilling all those round her.  
  
She wanted to scream, 'We don't kill our own! We don't leave our own behind,' but she couldn't. If she had had said those things, she would have been lying. The fact was, that as much as she didn't want to believe it, Jed had been abandoned. And as much as she liked to believe that they'd never give up on one of their own, that was exactly what she had done with Ben. He had been helpless, a liability perhaps less so than Jed, and yet Max had done the humane thing and killed him, albeit at his own request. Perhaps it was that memory and the everlasting pain associated with it that was the driving force of her decision now.  
  
"I will not let you kill an innocent child," she said, looking up at Mole while clenching her fists at her side. If Mole wanted a fight, she was sure ready to give it to him.  
  
"Who said *I'd* be the one doing it?" he sneered.  
  
"Things may not be perfect here, this is not the ideal place to bring up a child, I know that; but it's all we got. We're family. We'll do the best we can," she told him.  
  
"There is another option," Dix offered up quietly.  
  
"What?" Kyra asked, glad for the chance to distract Max and Mole from tearing one another apart.  
  
"What about adoption? Why can't we give him to a normal family? On the outside?" Dix suggested meekly.  
  
"I-" Max began but no sooner was the syllable out of her throat than Dix interrupted her.  
  
"I heard what you just said, Max. I really did," Dix reassured her. "But a part of me agrees with Mole. This isn't the life we would choose for our children, if ever we would have a choice. He may be one of our own, but it's not uncommon for families or single mothers to give their children up, to do what's in the best interest of the child. With the right screening of parents, he could lead the kind of life that we always wanted to lead."  
  
Max looked towards Alec, and wondered just when he would weigh further into this little situation of theirs. But all she saw in his eyes was confusion. He was at as much a loss with what to do as she was.  
  
She sighed, and dropped her eyes to the floor. "No. It's too risky."  
  
"There are those on the outside who are sympathetic towards us, Max. Surely we could find someone to take him that would keep the fact that he was transgenic a secret."  
  
"And what if someone found out? Or worse, what if White found him? What if he has seizures, like the rest of us? Who would protect him then?" She shouted with frustration.  
  
"Who will protect him now!" Mole spat back at her.  
  
"His father," Alec said, as he stood a little straighter and took a step forward to face off with the large creature man before him.  
  
All eyes turned towards Alec, as he took some time to survey them in turn. "God knows this is the last thing I ever planned on or even wanted and the same probably goes for Mary, based on the little pickle her sudden departure seems to have placed us all in.. We were never supposed to become parents; well, not as long as we were under Manticore control. Copulate and impregnate. Those were my orders, and I followed them without much thought; afterall, I was a good little soldier," he said as he turned to look at Max with a knowing look in his eye.  
  
"I'm guessing the foetuses would have been transplanted later;" he continued. "There would be no sense in knocking an X5 up for nine months, not when she could be used to conceive again so quickly. She was probably too far on to abort at the time of our escape. So I guess I can't blame her for taking off like she did. She never expected to become a mother, and obviously she never wanted to, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still the father of this child and he is my son."  
  
"Only in the biological sense. That hasn't always been enough of a reason for some guys to take responsibility," Mole told him.  
  
"Well, it's enough of a reason for me. As I said, I didn't plan this, but that's not unlike most of the guys out there in the world today," Alec sighed.  
  
"Except, when they didn't plan this, they didn't have a gun to their head, or the threat of torture if they didn't comply and follow orders. This is different, Alec," Mole tried to persuade him.  
  
"No. It isn't," Alec declared.  
  
Mole snorted. "Yes it is. And no one would blame you if you decided to-"  
  
"*I* would blame me," Alec stated clearly.  
  
"Fine," the transhuman threw his hands in the air in defeat. "But explain to me just how you think you are going to pull this off. I don't care what other roles you wanna play in your life, but first and foremost you're a soldier, Alec. You're responsible for practically all of the procurement raids, not to mention the fence patrols and plenty of the work details. Just how do you think you're going to fit being a 'Daddy" into all that?"  
  
"We'll work something out," Max said defiantly while coming to stand next to Alec. "Afterall, we're family."  
  
TBC  
  
I would love to hear from you and welcome all coments, suggestions, theories and requests. Got an idea of where this story should go? Let me know. Wanna tell me just what you think of all these characters? Drop me a line. Hate Mole for suggesting what he did? Don't worry he shall redeem himself.  
  
Rhasa4@yahoo.com 


	8. Revelations

Title: Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 8 Author: Rhasa Category: Drama Keywords: M/A developing relationship Rating: PG-13 Summary: Today 'They' won the battle, but the war is just beginning. Revelations. Disclaimer: Not mine. No money being made. Feedback: Rhasa4@yahoo.com  
  
Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 8 By Rhasa  
  
Alec's heart was pounding; its furious rhythm outstripping the rapid tempo of his heavy footsteps thumping against the concrete.  
  
He mentally cursed.  
  
It seemed like he had been running forever, he had completely lost track of time. He knew that he couldn't keep going at this pace indefinitely. Even X5's had their limits, and Alec was beginning to worry that with every other step he took, he was fast approaching his. He needed to rest. He risked a quick glance behind to see if he had lost his pursuers. No such luck. Whoever these guys were they weren't giving up easily.  
  
The streets he found himself on passed by in a blur, as did its occupants. All sights and sounds before him seemed to pale in comparison to the heavy panting breathes he was drawing. His mouth was dry; his muscles ached as his heart beat on and on, faster and faster.  
  
He tried hard to think just how he had got himself into this mess. Last thing he had remembered was talking to one of his black-market suppliers down at the docks. There was a scuffle, and then everything seemed to blur. The details didn't matter now. All that mattered was whether he could reach the next corner with enough distance between him and the goons behind, for him to manage a quick diversion, losing their sorry, but persistent, asses.  
  
Another quick glance and Alec felt confident that he could lose these guys. Up ahead the narrow alleyway fanned out onto the main street once more. He knew this area well - having frequented it often before his Terminal City days, many a time trawling for cheap company on those cold lonely nights that once plagued him.  
  
He made a sharp right turn at the desired point and head off with renewed stamina towards a green door, one of several, immediately to his right. He hoped and even prayed that the Chinaman he passed just as he stepped through would somehow block those who were after him. He had taken a dozen or so steps when his prayers were answered with a resounding crash amongst muttered curses and cries. A few minutes later, he allowed himself to relax, albeit slightly. It seemed that he had lost them.  
  
His brush with the unstoppable strangers had left him a little more shaken up than he had realised, as he found himself back at Terminal City in no time at all - the return trip not registering in his consciousness. He wasted no time searching for Max, looking for her in the command centre, mess and even infirmary before heading off towards her quarters.  
  
The sight of the door to Max's quarters being open unsettled him a little, but not nearly as much as the laugh that wafted through it and the familiar voice that followed. Alec tentatively pushed the door open further with the tip of one finger and stepped half-way through, stopping in complete surprise at the sight before him.  
  
"Heya, Alec."  
  
Logan.  
  
The arrival of this sudden 'guest' left Alec's mouth drier than it was before. He nodded briefly towards the older man, words failing him- from surprise or some other emotion he wasn't sure. A small cry shook some sense into him as he turned his eyes towards a smiling and, what looked like, a deliriously happy, Max. She was holding a squirming Jed on her hip.  
  
"Isn't it wonderful?" Max beamed towards a dumbfounded Alec.  
  
"What?" he asked, his voice managing somehow to scratch out that single word.  
  
"Logan's come back to us," she smiled. "For good."  
  
"What?" Alec asked, clearly needing more information to process this sudden turn of events.  
  
"That's right buddy," a gloating Logan chuckled. "I decided I couldn't stay away any longer. I've given up Eyes Only. I thought I would come and fight the good fight alongside my girl here," he added with a smile, staring intently into Max's sparkling eyes and reaching out a hand towards Jed, ruffling the unsettled youngster's hair.  
  
Alec stood watching the strange scene before him. It disturbed him, for reasons he couldn't quite understand at the moment.  
  
To his credit, Jed whimpered, when Logan touched him. The older man clearly not worried with the child's rejection, continued his attempts to placate him without success.  
  
"Wh-What about the toxins?" Alec asked finally, his voice a little too meek for his own liking.  
  
"Yeah, well. You know what they say. No guts no glory. I'm willing to take the risk, if it means I get to see Max every day."  
  
"What about the cure to the virus? I thought you had leads up in Canada? Ex  
  
Manticore scientists seemed to flock there in droves and all that," Alec said.  
  
"That's true," Logan nodded. "I've spent the better part of three months  
  
chasing ex techs down with limited luck. But I can follow leads just as well  
  
from my new base of operations."  
  
"Which is where?" Alec asked, a sickening sensation forming in the pit of  
  
his stomach.  
  
"Here."  
  
"Here, as in, here in this room *here*?" Alec couldn't help his voice from going higher, as he pointed to the ground indicating the very place they were all standing.  
  
"Logan's moving in with me," Max clarified.  
  
"Moving in?"  
  
"Yeah," she said.  
  
"What about the virus?" Alec asked, Max, wondering if only for a moment if he was the only one in the room that hadn't lost his mind.  
  
"We'll be careful," she replied with a casual shrug.  
  
"Ah, no offence, Max, but you've been down that road before and it hasn't exactly worked out all that well, if you'll remember," Alec replied sarcastically.  
  
"We'll be *extra* careful," she emphasised.  
  
"Yeah, so, feel free to book it out of here whenever you want," Logan suggested to Alec.  
  
"What are you talking about?" The transgenic asked.  
  
"Max doesn't need you anymore," Logan stated bluntly. "I'm here now."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Face it, Alec. You're a solo kind of guy. Nothing wrong with that. It's the way you were designed. You've probably been dying to bust out of here since the day you all holed up. Well, now's your chance. I'm here now, and the logical choice for the new second in command, a good go-between for the transgenics and the ordinaries. Maybe we can get something done around here now. Maybe, now, the real negotiations will begin."  
  
Alec stood and stared - completely speechless.  
  
"This is a good thing, Alec," Max tried to convince him. "It means I don't have to come to you with all my problems. No more dumping on Alec," she threw at him over her shoulder.  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't call it 'dumping'," Alec replied, his voice clearly strained, while he tried desperately to get a handle on what was happening.  
  
"Well, whatever you want to call it, there won't be any of it anymore," Logan growled.  
  
"So you're free to return to your footloose and fancy free kinda days," Max  
  
said.  
  
"I would say that those days are pretty much over now, Max," Alec said, nodding in the direction of his son.  
  
"Oh, haven't I told you the best news of all?" Max smiled. "Logan has agreed  
  
to adopt Jed."  
  
"He'll be our son," Logan announced while beaming with happiness. "Max's and mine."  
  
A feeling of absolute dread filled Alec only to be almost instantly replaced  
  
with a searing anger.  
  
"WHAT?" he yelled. "Over my dead body!"  
  
"Well if that's the way it's gotta be," Logan shouted as his hand reached inside of his jacket.  
  
Everything next seemed to happen so fast but at the same time, Alec saw it in slow motion. It didn't make any sense. Logan pulled the gun before Alec could even register his actions as a threat. Nevertheless, Alec blurred and managed to grapple Logan, the ordinary surprising him with his strength, which prevented Alec from getting the advantage. They both had a tight grip on the weapon. Alec seemed to have forgotten all one-on-one combat moves while he fought to ply the gun from Logan's hands.  
  
He looked up into his enemy's eyes to find him grinning maniacally. This didn't make any sense. Why would Logan be trying to kill him? For a brief moment Alec tried to locate Max, maybe she could put a stop to this madness. But before he could glance back over his shoulder, a shot rang out, and piercing cries filled the air.  
  
Alec spun around quickly, forgetting the threat from Logan, concerned only by the noise behind him. He saw them slumped in the corner of the room. Jed's screams rebounding off the bare walls. Alec tried to move towards them but his feet felt as if they were made of lead. What the hell was wrong with him? He had to get to them. Which each step Jed's screams grew louder and louder and then Max's voice began to call to him as well.  
  
"Alec," she cried.  
  
His heart was pounding with his efforts. If he could just get to them.  
  
"Alec," she cried again, as Jed's cries intensified.  
  
"Alec!"  
  
I'm coming, he tried to reply.  
  
"Alec!" came Max's voice, a little stronger this time.  
  
Alec sat bolt upright. His heart was racing as it had been in his dream. He drew in a deep shuddering breath as the realisation that he had been having a nightmare dawned on him. Thank god. He drew a shaky hand across his face as he reached up to rub his eyes, trying to wake further. It took him a few seconds before he realised that it was Max's hand that lay softly on his shoulder.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
"I dreamed he shot him," Alec whispered softly, still not free from the remnants of the dream.  
  
"Shot who?" Max asked, concern tinging her voice.  
  
"Nevermind," Alec sighed, after a moment, as he turned to face her and stood. "Is it time?" he queried, as he took in the level of activity around him.  
  
Half a dozen transgenics were moving around the command centre, buzzing about in preparation for their latest "raid". Alec marvelled at the fact that he had managed to get any sleep at all on the makeshift cot that they had erected next to the stairwell, with all the noise - but then again, the last few nights he had been up trying to settle Jed to sleep.  
  
His heart tugged at him as he thought of his son. The experience of being concerned for a child, was something new to him. He shook his head slightly, as if to rid him of his concern, and reassured himself that his boy was safe and being looked after by Gem for the time being.  
  
"We move out in ten - fifteen minutes," Max replied with a deep sigh, breaking his thoughts. "Did you get much sleep?"  
  
"I'll be okay," Alec answered, while looking up at her, noticing a hardness to her features.  
  
It wasn't tiredness that he saw reflected in her eyes. She was concerned. The news that two transgenics had broke curfew and gone outside Terminal City without permission and subsequently been captured by the Seattle PD, had taken its toll on her. She felt responsible for T.C's inhabitants. And although they had disobeyed a direct order, a fact that Mole kept reiterating along with his objection to the current plan, she was damned if she was going to let them rot inside a Seattle PD cell or be handed over to White and his band of merry men to have god-knows-what done to them. The little "rescue" mission they were about to embark on, was put together quickly - too quickly for her liking. But with White undoubtedly onto the arrest they didn't have as much time to plan as she would have liked. She had only permitted Alec a half hour of 'sleep' before they moved out because that was the minimum amount of time it had taken Luke to obtain the plans to the new Seattle PD detention centre, where her fellow transgenics were being held.  
  
"Everyone ready?" Alec asked, as he put on his jacket and tightened the buckle of the shoulder holster he was wearing.  
  
"As ready as they're gonna be," she offered.  
  
Alec nodded as he stepped in line and walked in silence with her to the northwest tunnel where the trucks were parked. They watched nervously as the group poured into the vehicles, each deep in their own thoughts and concerns, Alec trying desperately to not let his dream and the emotions it had dredged up, distract him.  
  
He managed a quick glance in Max's direction to find that she was chewing her bottom lip. He watched as Max caught Mole looking at her from the front of the first truck causing her to quickly lifted her head a little higher and square her shoulders more. She didn't want her "men" to see she was worried. Alec knew better.  
  
"It's going to be alright," he tried to reassure her.  
  
"I don't like these hit and run raids, they always end badly," she said, more to herself than to him.  
  
"We'll be fine. We have more than enough man power and armoury to take them out if it comes to that," he offered meekly.  
  
"Well, let's just hope it doesn't come to that," she turned to face him. "I don't want you to take any risks, Alec. I'm not going to be there to rescue your ass. In and out. Simple-like. Quiet-like. Undetectable. We only resort to bringing in the rest of the team if. if.  
  
"If my part fails?"  
  
"If things go wrong," she clarified quickly. "Got that?"  
  
"Yeah, okay boss," he smiled, not being able to help himself.  
  
"I'm serious, Alec," she snapped, annoyed that he may be taking this too lightly.  
  
"I know you are," he said, as he looked once again into her eyes that held the same worry and fear as they had as they had at breakfast.  
  
"Okay, come on!" Mole called to him.  
  
Alec flashed Max one of his trademark grins. "Later," he said and began to walk off.  
  
"Don't forget what I told you," Max said, as she grabbed his arm before he could move beyond her reach, more desperation in her voice than she would have liked.  
  
"I won't," Alec grinned. "In and out. Simple-like. Quiet-like. Undetectable. We only resort to bringing in the rest of the team if things go wrong."  
  
"No. Not that," Max shook her head, looking down at her feet and then back up into his eyes. "Don't forget what I said this morning."  
  
Forget? How could he forget?  
  
"I meant it, Alec," she whispered, staring at him intently. "I do love you."  
  
TBC  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Yeah, I know that it was cruel to leave things there. Those who know me, know that I like to tell stories in third person retrospective. So as you can guess I will be explaining how it came that Max said those words to Alec in the next chapter. Now, those who know me, also know that if you want to read the next part you better keep the pressure on me to finish it, as I tend to slack off. So drop me a line at Rhasa4@yahoo.com or hit review or whatever to get on my case.  
  
My offer to take requests also still stands. The dream sequence was in response to one of your suggestions - I hope you enjoyed it. (Did you guess Alec was dreaming? Or did you really think I had brought Logan back??) 


	9. Personal Feelings

Title: Today 'They' Won the Battle  
  
Author: Rhasa  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Category: M/A developing relationship. Angst.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made, no infringement intended.  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
I would love to hear from anyone who reads this. In fact I am desperate.  
  
Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 9 By Rhasa  
  
"Are you okay?" Mole asked Alec, as he navigated the back alleys of what was once the financial district of Seattle.  
  
It wasn't like Alec to be quiet for so long. He was one X5 with a mouth on him. Despite the seriousness of what they were about to do, Mole had expected a little chit chat from the guy sitting next to him. Everyone knew that talking a mile a minute helped Alec burn off excess energy, and helped him to focus. But so far, a good ten minutes after leaving Terminal City, he hadn't uttered a single syllable, which made Mole a little unsettled.  
  
"Yeah," Alec replied without further elaboration.  
  
"You don't look okay," Mole said bluntly.  
  
"I'm alright."  
  
"You don't look alright," Mole pushed.  
  
Alec gave him a stern look. "I'm fine."  
  
"You don't look fine."  
  
"Quit it, will ya', Mole?" Alec said, clearly irritated.  
  
Mole snorted; at least it was more than a one or two word answer now. "I'm just makin' an observation, that's all. No harm in that."  
  
"There will be harm, me harming you, if you keep on yappin' about it," Alec retorted.  
  
"Lover's spat?" Mole continued a few seconds later, unconcerned by Alec's threat.  
  
"Mole, I swear-" Alex growled, a breathe away from pounding on his ass.  
  
"Okay, okay. Forget I said anything. Just want to make sure your head's in  
  
the game and not--" he turned to look Alec in the eyes, "--on other  
  
things."  
  
"My head's just where it ought to be. Now get yours where it ought to be,  
  
that being focused on the road in front of you," Alec pointed to the street on which they were rambling along and growled.  
  
"You can't screw this up," Mole reminded him, the first real words about their current "mission" outside of the meeting Max had called earlier.  
  
Alec gave Mole a look. Did Mole really think he was going to screw this up? Nah. He knew Alec took this mission seriously. After all if it hadn't been for Alec's own little unauthorised trip outside of Terminal City then the two X5's that had followed him wouldn't have needed rescuing right about now.  
  
Alec, while not directly blaming himself for the stupidity of the two, felt somewhat responsible for their capture. Max's little guilt trip that she had laid on him earlier had seen to that. He knew he screwed up, and it wasn't likely that he was going to deliberately let her down again. He'd rescue their sorry asses just like he said he would, maybe then Max would find it in her heart to forgive him and trust him again...  
  
"You can't screw this up. Did you hear what I said?" Mole's voice broke through Alec's thoughts. Not a good sign. Already he was allowing himself to get distracted.  
  
"I don't intend to," Alec said casually.  
  
"You know I'm thinking that there is a good chance we're about to step into  
  
a trap set by White," Mole theorised.  
  
"Your objections were noted at the meeting," Alec said, coldly.  
  
"And *ignored*, just like they usually are," Mole grumbled.  
  
"And *weighed* against the consequences of us not going in, and the  
  
possibility that it isn't a trap, and what happens to Thor and Switch then," Alec clarified.  
  
"Whatever. But like I said, trap or not, you can't screw this up. We'll only  
  
get one shot at rescuing their sorry asses, and you can't afford to let your  
  
personal feelings stand in the way of what you have to get done today."  
  
"What?" Alec asked turning towards his friend.  
  
"Personal Feelings. You can't let them get in the way," Mole repeated.  
  
"Funny," Alec said, looking absently out the window.  
  
"What is?" Mole asked, taking another long draw on his cigar.  
  
"That's exactly what Max said earlier."  
  
He had vowed to himself that he wouldn't replay the scene with Max in his head one more time. He had done it to death already. But he couldn't help it. He thought if he could just somehow change one minor detail, one small aspect, then things would have turned out so differently. His dream and what had happened between him and Max left him disoriented and somewhat anxious.  
  
If only he could make her understand... If only she could feel what he felt then maybe..  
  
But, when he looked back on it, he had started off on the wrong foot and things kind of went downhill from there...  
  
"Hey, Max," Alec he had said softly from the doorway, his eyes downcast when she spun in the direction of his voice.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?" She spat back at him, taking two great strides towards him, hands clenched at her side.  
  
"Why do I get the impression that you already know where I've been?" He asked her sarcastically.  
  
"You're damn right I know. You know what else I know?" She snarled. "I know it's going to take me about five seconds to kick your ass," she threatened.  
  
He could tell she was ready for a fight. She was jumpy. She jerked her head around. She couldn't seem to stand still. Her eyes were fiery and her breathing rapid. A typical fear response coupled with adrenaline, he thought. He'd seen that look before. Hell he had been on the receiving end of a 'Max tirade' that had started out just like this before. He took one look at her and knew.. he, or something, had scared her. And now she was ready to pounce on his ass to make him pay. No one made Max worry herself to distraction without paying for it - especially not him.  
  
"Don't be pissed," he sighed, already defeated, he wasn't in the mood to go ten rounds with her.  
  
"Don't be pissed?" She asked in an incredulous tone. "DON'T BE PISSED? Give me one god damn good reason NOT to be PISSED!"  
  
"There's really not that much to be pissed about," he shrugged as he moved away from the doorframe and further into the room.  
  
He wasn't quite ready to have it out with her. Up until ten or so minutes ago he had been under the impression that he wouldn't have to defend himself to her - he had believed that she hadn't known able his trip outside Terminal City. The heads up from Dix had dashed all those illusions, though. "Max knows where you've been," his friend had told him. "You'd better get your story together fast," he'd offered. "Or you could lie low for a while," he further warned.  
  
Alec wished he had taken Dix's earlier advice and avoided Max altogether as she yelled at him again. "NOT MUCH TO BE PISSED ABOUT?" she roared.  
  
"Max-" Alec started before she cut him off.  
  
It was obvious she was having none of his excuses. Crossing her arms in front of her she tried desperately to calm down, but she couldn't help that jealousy made it into her voice. "What were you thinking? Huh? A quick follow up? Not getting enough action in Terminal City anymore?" She accused him.  
  
"It wasn't like that at all!" Alec said angrily back at her, disappointed that he had snapped at her so soon and that she could make him rise to the bait so easily. "I got word from that new trio of transgenics that came in Tuesday, that they met an X5 that matched Mary's description in Slaven district Tuesday. I went to check it out."  
  
"So you just went to check it out?"  
  
"What? Is there an echo in here?" he said.  
  
She pinned him with a petulant glare. "Why? Why would you need to go check it out? Why would you need to see her again?"  
  
"What I have to explain myself to you now, Max?"  
  
"Yes. As leader of this outfit, you do." She asserted.  
  
Alec could feel the anger rising inside of him. If he didn't know any better, she was jealous. She had no right to be jealous. He hadn't done anything and even if he had there was no 'understanding' between them. She was jealous and she was making him feel guilty for something he should not feel guilty about, which made him even madder. "Well then, I guess as 'leader' of this outfit, you're going to have to 'order' me to tell you, because if you're asking as a friend, I don't think it is any of your damn business."  
  
"Alec--"  
  
"Max, leave it alone will you," he warned.  
  
"No." She said defiantly. "I want to know. I want to know just why is it that you disobeyed the fist order in Terminal City and went to visit that.. that..."  
  
"She's not what you think she is, and even if she was it's none of your damn business."  
  
"No. I'm not buying that, Alec. I want to know. Why? Why did you leave your post?"  
  
"I wasn't on duty!"  
  
"You know what I mean. Why? Why leave? Why go after her?"  
  
"Because she's the mother of my child!"  
  
"You went to see her because of Jed?"  
  
"No. I mean yes. hell I don't know, Max. I went to see her for a lot of reasons. I went to see if she was okay. She took off out of here so quick. You even thought that for a mother to leave her own child something must be wrong. Well I wondered too, Max. I wondered and I worried over why she abandoned him. Why she didn't stay here with the rest of us. And I've wondered what I would tell Jed when he was older as to where his mother is. I wondered and I worried about her and I thought.. I don't know.. I guess, a part of me thought that I might change her mind. A part of me felt that if she could see how dangerous it was out there for her then maybe.. she'd come back."  
  
"And then what? You'd play 'happy families'?" Max couldn't keep the bitterness and sarcasm out of her voice.  
  
"No. It's not like that," he said softly, ignoring her antics.  
  
"As you said, she is the mother of your son." Max said it like an accusation.  
  
Alec pinned her with a look. "She's someone I had sex with. Not someone I love."  
  
"What, and you couldn't learn to love her, for Jed's sake?"  
  
"No," he said.  
  
"Why not?" Max pressed.  
  
"Because I couldn't!" He said lowering his tone. "It was duty that made Jed. Not love."  
  
"Just because Jed was made because you were following orders doesn't mean that you and Mary can't make a go of it. People have gotten together for lesser reasons," she said with a bitterness in her voice that made her despise herself. Who was she to stand in the way of his choices, if that's what he really wanted?  
  
He shook his head slightly. "It wouldn't work."  
  
"Maybe-"  
  
"No, Max. It wouldn't work." He said determinedly. "I know it wouldn't work." he silently implored her to understand the meaning behind his words.  
  
"Then why risk everything to just go see how she is?" Max asked.  
  
"I told you why. I didn't think much of it. Out and back in again. I wouldn't be gone long. No one was to know I was gone. It was no big deal."  
  
"Alec, are you insane? You jeopardise all of us, when you act on your own. With White out there, god-knows where, and most of Seattle against us, every time you step outside that gate, you not only put yourself at risk but us as well. What if you had been captured, and somehow they had gotten information out of you? What if they'd tortured you and you gave up the location of the tunnels."  
  
He stood straighter and put his hands on his hips. "I wouldn't give up that information."  
  
"Maybe not willingly," she said. "But you don't know what they're capable of."  
  
"Oh yes I do. Six months, psy-ops, remember? I know a thing or two about torture. I wouldn't betray Terminal City."  
  
"You don't know that," she said sadly.  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
"They have ways-"  
  
"I wouldn't betray you," he declared.  
  
"Don't you see-" she whispered softly now, "-you already did."  
  
He looked up at her. Her eyes pleading with him, begging him to understand.  
  
"Every time you go out without permission, without clearing it first, you undermine me, she said. "Every defiant action, no matter how small, sends a message to those who are left behind." Alec looked away, his actions suddenly making him feel guilty. Max stepped forward and put a hand on his arm. Startled by the sensation of her touching him, he looked at her once more. "I'm hanging on by a thread here, Alec," she said. "You know how people feel. You know there's a growing number who think it's only a matter of time until White comes busting down that door. They're just looking for a perfect excuse to leave, and you're going to give it to them."  
  
He looked at her intently. "I never intended to send a signal to the others."  
  
"Yeah? There's a few people round here who'll find that hard to believe."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Thor and Switch. Dix caught them on video relay. They snuck out not that much after you did. They used the western tunnel, just like you did. I'm surprised you didn't run into them, down near the dock."  
  
"I didn't know they followed me."  
  
"If you say so," she said, dropping her hand and moving away from him.  
  
"How can you even question that, Max?" he asked her.  
  
"How can I not?" she asked. "The truth is you don't respect me as a leader."  
  
"That's not true," he said.  
  
"Yes it is, Alec. Running off, let's forget about asking, but without even telling me, without even giving me the opportunity to watch your back, proves that you don't give a damn about us here in TC. You were only thinking about yourself, your own wants, and your own needs."  
  
"You don't understand," he offered. "This. this has nothing to do with you," he sighed as he dropped his eyes to the ground, somewhat ashamed, in some of the truth in what she was saying. He stood there, afraid to look her in her eyes again. The disappointment he saw in their depths wrenching something inside him. Some of what she said was true, but some of it was so far off the mark..How could he make her understand, when he didn't understand it himself.  
  
"Alec, we need you," she said barely above a whisper after a few moments of discomfit, her tone placid enough for him to raise his head and look in her direction once more. "*I* need you," she continued, her eyes seeking his. "But unless you can give us your best, you should go.. before you really hurt us."  
  
Her words surprised him.  
  
She held his gaze for a few long moments, something passing between them.. an understanding that she didn't need him just as her second-in-command but in another way.. a more personal way.. something that they had never talked about, never hinted at, but something there in the background for all these months nevertheless.  
  
She needed him. She had been jealous that he had gone to see Mary. But she needed him.  
  
And God he needed her too.  
  
"I would never hurt you," he whispered as he took a step closer towards her, intent on showing her just how wrong she had read this whole situation.. "I would never leave you. I meant what I said at the start of all this. We're in this together," he said slowly, clearly as he continued to close the distance between them. "As long as we fight, I will fight by your side, Max."  
  
She looked away. She wanted to believe him, but there was too much at stake here - the safety of them all, no less.  
  
"I wish I could believe that," she said.  
  
"You can. If you allow yourself to," he whispered, as he reached out a hand towards her face wanting desperately to make a connection with her,  
  
Max watched mesmerized as he drew nearer. Something was happening here that she didn't quite understand. She was supposed to be pissed at him. He had disobeyed a direct order. He had acted on his own. He had jeopardised them all. And he had broken the trust that had been built between them.  
  
But she knew, even from the beginning, from the moment she found out where he had gone that she wouldn't be able to stay angry at him for long, not when she was overwhelmed with sheer relief at his safe return. She had been more worried than angry, and in truth, now that he was back standing before her, punishing himself more that she ever could, she felt more relieved than betrayed.  
  
"Trust me," he said, his words spoken on a breath that brushed across his cheek.  
  
Max couldn't help it; she closed her eyes to the sensation, wanting to fight both him and her own reactions to him. "Trust me," she felt and heard him say again, knowing that his pleas would be her undoing.  
  
Those two words.. seemingly simple... asked a whole lot more than mere forgiveness for his latest transgression. She bit her lip. She knew he was seeking her permission.. Permission to explore something new to both of them... He had always been the bolder one of the two.  
  
"I want to," she whispered, as she felt the heat radiating from the proximity of his body. She felt as if she was going to explode with anticipation. She hissed and drew a deep shuddering breath as his hand reached forward to cup her cheek, his thumb lightly caressing the skin below her ear. Goosebumps rose quickly on her skin and she leant into his touch.  
  
"Then let go," she heard him whisper softly, his words teasing and exciting her. With her eyes still closed she sensed his face mere millimetres from her own. She heard her heartbeat resonating inside of her and her body tensed with her need for him. She should stop this, but before she could allow herself to think of the reasons why she couldn't, why she wouldn't, she found herself drowning as he kissed her long and hard..and she felt as if she could forgive him for anything as long as he didn't stop.  
  
He was like fire. He consumed her. Years of pent up frustration over this amazing girl, unleashed themselves upon him and he was helpless. He pushed her gently towards the nearest wall, anchoring her there with his body as he kissed and nipped and suckled every inch of her that lay bare. He couldn't get enough of her taste, her smell... he couldn't get enough of just her. No one had ever affected him as much as Max did. He kissed and fondled and moaned when she kissed him back. He wanted her so badly, not just for now, but possibly for ever...  
  
"I can't," she heard herself say suddenly as she moved quickly to her left, leaving Alec alone with an empty space before him. She heard a moan of disappointment escape from his lips as she put some more distance between them.  
  
"I can't let my personal feelings get in the way of my command," she said out loud, more to herself than to him. Her brain was trying hard to justify her actions, but her heart, which was beating wildly in her chest, ached at the loss.  
  
"Max." Alec drawled as he turned to face her, not really knowing what to say to her next. He had tipped his hand. He had let her know just how he felt, or so he thought.  
  
"I can't let my personal feelings get in the way, Alec. You're a soldier, and I'm your leader and you disobeyed me. I can't trust you just now. You betrayed me. In time, when that trust has returned.. then..maybe. But for now, I can't trust you," she said sadly, but resigned.  
  
Alec sighed. He had thought that now..maybe.. was the right time and yet a small apart of hi wasn't surprised that she had pulled away. It was clear that she didn't understand him fully.  
  
"You know," he said, casually as he brought his hand up to rub his face. "The reason why I'm sure I couldn't make a go of it with Mary, don't you?" he asked looking Max directly in the eye.  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"I couldn't bring myself to love her, because I'm in love with someone else," he told her.  
  
Max stared at him, not surprised, but overwhelmed despite herself.  
  
"I do love you Alec," she sighed, her eyes now filling with tears. "But I'm leader here, leading a motley bunch," she choked. "And I can't let my personal feelings get in the way."  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Note:  
  
If you are still reading, or have just read this chapter for the first time I would love for you to drop me a line. It would give me such a lift. Just say "Hi. Read your stuff." That's all I need to make my day.  
  
Til next time  
  
Rhasa aka Sarah 


	10. Waiting

Title: Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 10  
  
Author: Rhasa  
  
Category: Drama, Angst.  
  
Rating: This part R (for a few swear words)  
  
Disclaimer: 'Dark Angel' and the characters do not belong to me. No money is being made. No infringement intended. This story MAY NOT be archived without permission.  
  
Summary: A multiple part story that explores the developing relationship between Max and Alec. Since it's been a while since I posted, I suggest reading the last chapter (9) at fanfiction.net. If you don't want to do that, Alec made his feelings for Max obvious in the last chapter but she put some distance between them spouting her 'leadership' as an impediment to any future relationship. Alec went on a mission and Max anxiously awaits his return.  
  
All previous parts available at fanfiction.net.com  
  
Feedback: I love to hear from anyone who reads my stuff (really, I like to hear you're theories about absolutely anything!) so feel free to drop me a line to Rhasa4@yahoo.com or hit reply.  
  
Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 10 by Rhasa  
  
"Hey Gem," Max said softly as she stepped through the door that Gem had just opened in response to her knocks.  
  
"Hey Max."  
  
"Sorry. I know it's late. I just came to check on Jed, that's all," Max said.  
  
"It's okay. They're sleeping. Come take a look," Gem urged her.  
  
The two women moved further into the small apartment towards a rear room. It wasn't uncommon for Max to pop in now and then. Gem had generously offered to look after Jed while Alec was busy with the every day tasks required to keep Terminal City running as well as the odd mission or two. It was an arrangement that benefited everyone, Gem had said. Looking after two small children seemed to be a lot easier than looing after one.  
  
Gem slowly turned the handle on the door and she and Max stepped stealthily into a room where two small cribs stood side by side.  
  
"I know it's cliché," Gem whispered. "But, they're so adorable when they sleep."  
  
"Yeah," Max said simply as she peered over the edge of the crib, first at Jed then at gem's daughter Eve.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Gem asked, sensing a change in mood in Max from the other times that she had come to visit.  
  
"No. Not really," Max shrugged. "It's just.. I don't know. It's jut that, them sleeping together like this... It kinda reminds me of us kids back at Manticore. When we were young, you know.. the barracks," she whispered. "It reminds me of the barracks."  
  
"With one real exception," Gem said.  
  
"What' that?"  
  
"We never had mobiles over our cribs or a forest scene painted on our walls," Gem said, pointing over Max's shoulder.  
  
Max turned to look at the beautiful mural that adorned the once bare wall from floor to ceiling. She smiled. "Joshua did a good job with that."  
  
"Look up," Gem instructed her.  
  
"Clouds," Max marvelled.  
  
"And what's got to be the most realistic looking rainbow I've ever seen painted anywhere right there in the corner," Gem said. "You can see it better in the daytime."  
  
"He really out did himself," Max smiled.  
  
"Yes he did," Gem said. "It makes you wonder if Manticore didn't mess up in more ways than one where Joshua was concerned."  
  
"What do you mean?" Max asked.  
  
"Well apart from the mistakes with the genetics, too much canine and all that, even after Sandeman left him there, in the conditions in which he was kept, he still managed to survive. They didn't break him. And not only did they not break him but he has this amazing spirit, this amazing talent.. a gentleness about him that just at looking at him you would never have guessed. He is so good with Jed and Eve. He would do anything to protect them."  
  
"As would we all," Max said.  
  
"Yeah," Gem said softly as she and Max moved back through the door and closed it softly behind them.  
  
"Well I'd better get back to the command centre," Max said once back in the living room, turning to leave.  
  
"Any word on Alec and the others yet?" Gem asked.  
  
"No. Not yet. He should be nearing the drop off round about now," Max reported with a sigh.  
  
Gem stared at her. "He feels responsible, you know," she told her. "he couldn't know that Thor and Switch would follow him-"  
  
"I know," Max sighed. "I was angry before, but.. I know it's not his fault, not really."  
  
"He didn't mean to disobey you, Max."  
  
Max looked at Gem, wondering how it was that she knew what was really bothering her.  
  
"Alec came here when he got back from searching for Mary," Gem began to explain. "He wanted to check in on Jed. He'd been told that you were looking for him," Gem admitted. "We talk sometimes," she shrugged awkwardly. "You know, one parent to another parent, something like that."  
  
It made sense that Alec and Gem would be getting close, she did after all have Jed most of the time, an arrangement that Max was grateful for.  
  
"Max, can I say something?" Gem asked.  
  
Max looked up, a little fearful of whatever truth she was about to be told and gave a little nod.  
  
"I know it's probably not my place and non of my business, but...." She paused, a little unsure of how Max would take what she was about to tell her. "But Alec loves you. He's in love with you. And I'm guessing, that he's been in love with you for a long time."  
  
Max stared at Gem with wide eyes. What is that obvious? Was whatever it was that was happening between her and Alec out there for everyone else to see? Damn it. She was supposed to be a leader. She was supposed to be in command. There were more important things, more pressing things, more crucial things that needed her attention right now. How could he do this to her? Hearing Gem speak about it meant that it wasn't going to be something that she could ignore.  
  
"I..I" Max began, but she couldn't find the words to answer what Gem had told her  
  
"I know," Gem said somewhat emabarrased. "It's non of my business, right?" Gem said.  
  
Max's head was whirling. She was confused. She was angry. She didn't know what to feel, which is exactly what she had been afraid would happen if she allowed her personal feelings to get in the way.  
  
Feeling guilty, Gem tried to explain. "It's just that.. well, we talk about starting a new life for ourselves. We talk about being free from Manticore.. well that includes being free to feel, Max, free to love."  
  
"I don't have time for love," Max answered in an abrupt tone.  
  
"You're not serious?"  
  
"Yes. I am. Gem, I heard what you said, but I have bigger concerns right now."  
  
Gem opened her mouth. She couldn't believe what Max was saying. She knew it wasn't true, but she also knew how stubborn Max could be. Gem opened her mouth to argue the point but didn't get to say a word as a large explosion shook the apartment in which her and Max were standing. A surprised Max only had time to gasp before a second blast was felt and heard coming from the outer perimeter. That wasn't a coincidence. It was obvious - they were under attack. As if to prove that point a mere second after the blast, automatic gunfire could be heard which was followed by heavy footfalls on the streets and shouting.  
  
It seemed one of Max's nightmares was coming true.  
  
"Stay here. But get ready to move," Max ordered Gem as she took off in the direction of the ensuing battle...  
  
**********  
  
Alec had very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. His mission to resue Thor and Switch - two transgenics that had supposedly been nabbed when they had foolishly followed him out of one of the secret tunnels that served Terminal City - had failed. The two transgenics were nowhere near the place in which, according to police reports, they were supposed to have been held. It wasn't the first time that their 'intelligence' had been wrong - weeks back they had 'walked' into a trap set by White when they had raided a food store warehouse. That mistake had cost them the lives of seven transgenics. Although this had not been a trap, Alec was still concerned. It wasn't likely that they had got it wrong again. They had been especially careful with their intelligence ever since their last raid. No. Something was definitely wrong. Add to that the fact that Alec couldn't raise anyone from 'base' on their two-way radio and the X5 became even more nervous and suspicious.  
  
"Can't this thing go any faster?" Alec yelled at Mole as he drove, his impatience and anxiety clearly evident.  
  
Mole ignored him as he gunned the engine once more.  
  
Mole's seemingly indifference to the concerns he had been voicing for the better part of the return trip to Terminal City had really begun to piss Alec off. The X5 was about to mention something to him when five blocks away from Terminal City they noticed smoke billowing above the compound and the sound of sporadic automatic gunfire from five blocks away.  
  
Damn, Alec thought. He hated to be right - especially about something like this.  
  
This was not good. Without even so much of a "Holy Mother-" Mole wordlessly pushed the truck in which he and Alec were travelling into a higher gear, trying to accelerate it beyond what was mechanically possible.  
  
Weighing their options, Alec tried in vain once more to reach anyone on the two-way or cell. His frustration quickly giving way to sheer panic.  
  
He looked over at Mole. It was hard to tell what was going through the lizard man's mind. True to form, a cigar protruded from his mouth. For some reason, Alec tried to think back to the siege and fight at Jam Pony. Had Mole fought White and his familiars with that thing in his mouth? Mole's apparent calm demeanour irked the X5 who found himself yelling, "I could run faster than this. " Then after a moment's thought, Alec put his hand on the car's door handle.  
  
"Easy there tiger," Mole said, too calmly for Alec's liking, as he reached out a hand and clasped Alec's shoulder forcing him to abandon any attempts to leave the slow moving truck behind. "We don't know what we're walking into. AK 47's are still firing on the eastern perimeter, shelling is still coming in from the south, so what ever has happened, it's still happening. We need cover. At least until we know what's going on."  
  
Alec stilled at his friend's words. He suddenly understood why Mole had been so quiet. He had been listening hard, analysing the gunfire he heard, trying to get a handle on the situaton. If anyone knew munitions, Mole did. It was possible for him to get a sense of the battle uphead merely by the patterns of volleys. After a moment's thought, Alec told him, "Head for the western wall."  
  
"Any particular reason?"  
  
"There's seems to be less smoke there. The alley that runs adjacent can also offer us some cover, not to mention a convenient escape route," he said confidently. "If we need it."  
  
Mole nodded agreeing with Alec's assessment and plan. "We can abandon the truck near Pfifer," he said. "We'll have access to the sewers if we need to go underground in a hurry. If the fighting is more to the East we should be able to get close enough to the outer perimeter without being detected."  
  
Mole turned the truck to the right and kept a watchful eye out. "Sure would help if we knew exactly who the enemy was," he whined. "What the fuck happened?" he said more to himself than to Alec.  
  
"I don't know," Alec sighed, trying to surpress the fear that threatened to overwhelm him. "But I know one thing."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"There was no way we saw this coming. We didn't expect this. We weren't prepared. It's going to be bad, Mole," he said looking over at his lizard friend. "Real bad."  
  
****  
  
It had taken Alec and Mole a full twenty minutes to make it inside T.C's 'outer' perimeter and they had yet to ascertain just who or what was attacking Terminal City. Moving quickly past the biotechnology labs they were still a long way from the residential areas. Oak Street which housed the majority of X5's lay half a click to the east, closer to the fighting. Alec took some small measure of comfort in the fact that the automatic gunfire they had been hearing for the past half hour had decreased somewhat and mortar fire had not been heard for the past eight minutes. Still, he and Mole moved quickly but quietly, with caution, having decided not to head for the front lines but fall back to the command centre where they could determine where the best position was for them to be deployed.  
  
Passing Riverbank Road, Alec finally encountered the first T.C. inhabitants - and the news was not good. Chaos seemed to reign. Grabbing the first 'person' who ran past - a rather hairy heavy-set male transhuman, the likes of which Alec had never had the pleasure - Alec discovered that things were even less organised than he had hoped. 'Bear', as he was called, had no idea what was happening, or who was attacking them. All he knew was that whoever was bombarding the perimeter with gunfire and mortars was doing it from at least a block away. They had yet to breech the perimeter, but all available forces were busy 'holding the lines'.  
  
"What about Max?" Alec shouted. Although the gunfire had diminished, the streets stilled echoed with the sounds of battle and people running past in confusion which meant he had to yell to be heard above the noise.  
  
"Max?" Bear asked. "I don't know any 'Ma-" he began, but Mole interrupted by pulling earnestly on Alec's arm.  
  
"Come on. He's new. He doesn't know anything. She's probably in the command centre."  
  
Alec allowed himself to be lead on by Mole. In the back of his mind, he had to hand it to the transhuman. Mole never seemed 'phased' in a crisis. To his credit, Alec too was focused, oriented on his goal, cautious and alert - at least on the outside. On the inside he was a mess of concern and worry. The questions that he had not allowed himself to express verbally out loud now resonated in his mind, like echoes in a cave. He couldn't quash the fear he felt for Max and his son. Where were they? Were they safe?  
  
The trip to the command centre was anything but easy. Mortar fire had penetrated deep inside the compound. Many of the buildings, already in complete disrepair from the days of the pulse, could not withstand the assault and had collapsed - often on the inhabitants. Moving forward, Alec and Mole had to make their way past debris, and the crowded streets all the while resisting the ingrained urge to head to the front lines.  
  
It was a very relieved Luke that greeted them on their arrival at the command centre.  
  
Alec quickly assessed the situation and moved towards a harried Dix who was shouting at a young X6. "No. I say again. Do not move beyond your current position," he yelled, before the younger transgenic took off.  
  
"Oh thank God," Dix said, when he caught a glimpse of Alec and Mole.  
  
"Where's Max?" Alec asked.  
  
"Ah I think she's-" Luke began, but was interrupted as another mortar shell rocked where they were standing shaking dust from the ceiling.  
  
A clearly nervous Dix didn't waste anytime explianing the situation to Alec. "The main assault has been on the eastern perimeter. We've sustained shelling for the past half hour or so which has resulted in a lot of casualties."  
  
"How many?" Alec asked concerned.  
  
"No way to know just yet. We've got four field med units out there at the moment. Infirmary is filling up fast though. Comms are down and we're using runners-"  
  
"Ah the old fashioned way," Mole said.  
  
"Yeah. Best I figure is that they're jamming our radio signals and have cut the satellite links," Dix offered.  
  
"How far have they advanced?" Alec asked.  
  
"That's just the thing," Luke said.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"They haven't advanced. They haven't moved. We've sustained gunfire from sniper positions, and the occasional 'run' at the line but not enough to do major damage, more of an inconvenience really. The shelling has done more damage by hitting buildings, some of the residential areas were hit pretty bad and some of our guys in the 'nest' positions were taken out, but as yet they haven't moved."  
  
"Who are they? Army?" Mole asked.  
  
"No, Luke said. "Spotter reports say they're Familiars, but we can't be certain, cause they're not coming closer."  
  
"That doesn't make any sense," Alec whispered as he went to the bank of security monitors that were the eyes to Terminal City and looked at them carefully.  
  
He did not like what he was seeing. Black and white cameras were picking up a lot of damage. The screens were filled with people, many transhumas, support personnel never designed for fighting, who were trying to flee the shelling. A sickening feeling swam in his stomach once more. He wondered about his son. Alec's eyes flicked over the screens, closely watching the X5's on the eastern perimeter firing shots out across the fenceline. Their defense was classic, but he could tell there were some who were itching to move out and face the enemy head on - that's what they had been trained for, afterall.  
  
"Do you think they're going to storm?" Dix asked.  
  
"I'd like to see them try," Mole snarled, then added, "No. That isn't their style. They would have hit us hard first up, caught us by surprise. As it is they know that they would extremely out numbered. Being Familiars and not the Army, unless they've had a recruitment drive it would be suicide to come in here."  
  
"Then what the hell are they up to?"  
  
"It's a diversion," Alec said quietly, while turning around to face the rest of them. "It's the only thing that makes any sense. They're rattling us. They're keeping us busy."  
  
"While they do what?" Dix asked.  
  
"I don't know," Alec admitted. "Dix, you said that they're attacking the eastern perimeter. What about other areas?" he asked.  
  
"So far other than a few squirmishes at the northern gate, nothing."  
  
Alec thought hard. "What about the tunnels?"  
  
Everyone looked at everyone else as silence fell over the group.  
  
"No one's patrolling the tunnels?" Alec asked incredulously.  
  
When no answer was forth coming, Mole uttered "Shit!" and began to race off with Alec not far behind.  
  
"Alec!" Luke called, and the X5 turned around. "I was going to tell you.." he trailed off.  
  
"Luke what is it?" Alec asked with impatience and concern.  
  
"Max. She left about twenty minutes ago. She said she was going to get Gem and the kids.." he stopped and looked uncomfortably towards Dix.  
  
"Jesus, Luke, just tell me!" Alec shouted.  
  
"She went to get Gem and the kids to take them to the tunnels. She was preparing for evacuation. She wanted to get them ready if it came to that."  
  
"We haven't heard from her since." Dix added.  
  
A sickening feeling rose once again inside of Alec, but it didn't linger as a rough hand grabbed at his shirt. "Come on," Mole shouted in Alec's face as he dragged him out of the command centre.  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Yeah I am back. I know it's been a few months. The good news is that I plotted out the next six chapters while I was on holiday so it shouldn't be another two months before I post again. I will wait to see if anyone is still interested after reading this last part before finish writing the next though. So if you are still reading please drop me a line and I will keep writing.  
  
I really hate my Max here for being so stubborn and not allowing her to enjoy her relationship with Alec. It reminds me kind of like Zack. It seems that Manticore unit leaders all seem to suffer some degree of matyrdom.  
  
The discussion about Joshua is important for the upcoming plot as was Alec's attempts to track down Mary a few chapters back (some people were asking me about Mary). I try to follow movie direction 101 when I write fanfic. NEVER ever introduce a character or a point for discussion if it is not relevant to the storyline. Movies cost too much to make, so if a shot shows you a glass of water, then (if the director is any good) that glass of water must be of some importance to the future plot or character development. If you want to see a great modern movie that uses this direction watch SIGNS with Mel Gibson. Nothing is introduced by way of props (singled out by individual shots) that is not important to the climax of the film. It's great (Baby monitor, book, glass of water, the knife etc etc). Happy to discuss further if you're interested at Rhasa4@yahoo.com. Anyway, I hate being bogged down in stories that waffle on for waffling on's sake.  
  
And here ends my little rant. I'd love to here from you so review or drop me a line.  
  
Til next time Rhasa  
  
P.S Happy Australia Day 


	11. For reasons unknown

  
  
Rating: PG 13 

Disclaimer: Not mine. James Cameron et al. No money being made.

All other notes in previous parts.

Author: It's been a real long time since I lasted posted chapters of this (for reasons I'll explain at the end) so why not go back to where it all strated and refresh your memories by read all other chapters before this one. Just a tip.

Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 11  
by Rhasa

"You should get some sleep," Mole's voice called softly from the doorway.  
  
Alec didn't bother turning around to face him. "Can't sleep," he said.  
  
"You look like Hell," Mole said frankly. "I'm bettin' you feel like Hell too."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Are you?" Mole pressed.  
  
"No," Alec admitted with a small sad chuckle.  
  
Mole nodded silently to himself and moved to take a seat next to the  
troubled X5. The infirmary didn't have much in the way of furniture, so Mole found himself pulling a crate up to Alec's side.  
  
For the first time in a long while, Alec noticed the quietness that  
surrounded him and wondered how long he had been sitting there. He continued to stare straight ahead, but after a few more moments of uncomfortable silence, he sighed heavily and turned to his friend. "I can't close my eyes," he said softly as a tightness suddenly took hold of his throat, choking his words.

"Whenever I do, I see her lying there...broken...bleeding. I see that look of pain and... fear...in her eyes... That look she gave me right before she closed them..." Alec looked down, before raising his eyes to Mole's. "I don't want to see her like that," he whispered.  
  
Something in the X5's eyes tugged at Mole's heart. The lizardman had never claimed he knew much about emotions but he knew enough to know that his friend was hurting bad. Finding Max in the tunnels the way they did - seeing the fear on Alec's face – affected him a lot more than he would ever let on.

Mole was certain, if only for a few seconds or so that she was dead. No one could survive being impaled on a 4 foot metal rod like that, let alone the crush of the cement and concrete of the tunnel that had collapsed on top of her from one of the mortar explosions – and yet she had surprised him; him and Alec both. As Alec stood there in disbelief, shock, grief, fear and anger all written over his face at once, she had softly called to him.  
  
"Alec.... I'm sorry," her pained voice cried. "I couldn't save him."  
  
Alec struggled to breathe when he heard those words. He took in  
huge wrenching breaths, but felt himself suffocating despite of them. A part of his brain had fought earnestly against the panic that rose up  
inside of him as everything before him began to sway; while another part tried to rationalise that there was nothing really wrong. The dust, from the last exploding mortar shell that had exploded close by, had settled long ago.  
  
If it had not have been for Mole's gruff voice shouting, his barked "Help me!" then Alec doubted if he would have roused from his stupor. He had looked ahead towards Mole who was bending  
over in front of him, putting all of his strength and will power into moving the large concrete slab that blocked their way and immediately went into action.  
  
And then he had cried "Hang on, Max," as he finally came to his senses and took three steps forward, placed a hand under one corner of the slab, and looked down into her face.  
  
"Alec," cried a soft voice from underneathe the slab.  
  
"Hang on, Max," he had said again in a strained voice as he put all of his strength into helping Mole lift the seemingly immovable slab.  
  
They had only managed to move it a few centimetres before Max let out a shrieking cry of pain which forced them to release their grip.  
  
"We need Joshua." Mole said. "He could move this."  
  
"White took him," came a voice from the surrounding darkness of the  
collapsed tunnel.  
  
Alec turned and noticed for the first time a shaken Gem standing before him. He glanced quickly to the buddle in her arms, saw it move slightly and immediately knew that at least Eve was all right. "Took him? Whaddya mean took him?" Alec asked.  
  
"They had tasers," she said.  
  
"But Joshua is the strongest one of us all," Alec said in disbelief.  
  
"He couldn't fight back," she sobbed.  
  
"Why?" Alec asked. "Why, Gem?"  
  
"Alec..." she choked through sobs.  
  
"Gem? What aren't you telling me?"  
  
"Joshua, couldn't fight back, because... because he had Jed in his arms."  
  
"Alec... I'm sorry," Max' voice cried again. "I couldn't save him."  
  
Looking down at Max, who now lay still before them, too pale for anyone's liking, Mole had to hand it to her. There she had been, most likely dying, and she was worrying about a kid. Alec's kid. To the lizard man that said something about humans. Just what it said, Mole was still trying to figure out.  
  
"How's she doing?" Mole asked, as a way of making conversation, his concern dragging Alec out of his memories.  
  
"She'll need another transfusion," Alec replied solemly  
  
"How many does that make?"  
  
"It will be her third. Kyra says she's still bleeding internally. The rod  
she was impaled on... did dama-...damage to her liver," Alec stuttered.  
  
Mole knew it was worse than that. He had asked Kyra for the straight up just before he had sought out his friend. Couldn't say he was all that surprised to hear the diagnosis given the state she had been in when they had found her.  
  
Collapsed lung.  
  
Six broken ribs.  
  
Massive blood loss.  
  
Vital organ damage best possible case.  
  
Probable spinal damage worst possible case.  
  
Alec sighed. "Without the proper medical equipment we just don't know how bad it is. Kyra's hoping that her X5 healing properties are enough to pull her through."  
  
Mole simply nodded, grateful that for now Kyra had been sugarcoating Max's condition somewhat for Alec. After being the one to give Max those two transfusions, Mole didn't know how much more Alec could take.  
  
"Promise me something, Mole," Alec asked in a hushed tone.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Alec pinned him with a glare. "That you'll help me hunt that bastard  
White down and kill the son-of-a-bitch."  
  
Mole chuckled. "What? You think you'd need to ask me special?"  
  
"No," Alec admitted, in a tired but grateful voice.  
  
Mole nodded.  
  
"Do you think she'll make it?" Alec asked, clearly not wanting to.  
  
"She's tough," Mole replied.  
  
"She is," Alec agreed quietly. "I think she's the toughest person I know."  
  
Mole looked over at his friend. "Is that why you love her?"  
  
"Does it show?"  
  
"Only on your face since the very first time I met you," Mole told him.  
  
"She's not my type, you know," Alec announced.  
  
"That's funny. I thought anything in a skirt was your type."  
  
Mole's remark got a small smile out of his friend. "Have you ever seen Max wear a skirt?"  
  
"You know what I mean," Mole chuffed.  
  
"God.... She infuriates me, you know."  
  
Mole grinned. "Ah, then it must be love.... "Alec threw him a look. "Well at least that's what I'm told."  
  
"She's annoying and she nags and she has to be right all the time and-"  
  
Mole looked at him. "And you're sitting here tearing yourself up because although you think you should be out there looking for your son you're sitting here, with her."  
  
"I can't leave her right now."  
  
"I know." Mole said, surprising himself.  
  
He felt he really did understand Alec's choice. It had been a hard one. One of those classic connundrums, go with your heart – the one that wanted to tear after White, rescue his son and Joshua, if they were still alive, and then rip the guys heart out – or follow your head, following yuor training, use your logic and stay with Max, help stabilise her, secure Terminal City, attend to their dead and injured, and later when they had regrouped, when he could gather a team together, find where White had taken his son.  
  
"She'd have been better off leaving Jed with Gem on Oak Street," Alec said bitterly.  
  
"She was trying to get them out," Mole told him.  
  
"White was countin' on that, which is something I don't quite figure."  
  
Mole looked up. "What do you mean?"  
  
"The way that mortar fire hit the tunnel, and from what Gem said about what happened, this whole attack was a trap for Max."  
  
Mole shook his head slightly. "I don't think–"  
  
"White knew she was coming."  
  
"What how could he-?"  
  
"He had to know about the tunnels for him to catch her there-"  
  
"That was a fluke. The bastard was coming in the back door that's all.  
Getting to Max, that was just a bonus."  
  
"I don't think so, Mole. We both had suspicions about the attack from the first. They were'nt advancing, they were drawing our fire."  
  
"To get our attention away from the tunnels," Mole nodded. "Standard tactical diversion."  
  
"But something's telling me it wasn't," Alec asserted.  
  
"I think you're trying to read too much into this."  
  
"The backdoor was open, so to speak. They breached the tunnels. They ran into Max, took care of business... And then... Well why didn't they advance? Huh? Why not send in the troops and take us all out from behind. It would have been the perfect surprise rear attack. No. They were after something else. I know they were."  
  
"Like what? Max?"  
  
"Stranegly enough, no. She had a part to paay, for sure. But White was ultimately after something else."  
  
Mole shuffled his feet clearly disagreeing with Alec's theory.  
  
"Think about it, Mole," Alec said. "White didn't kill her. He didn't finish the job. Why not? Doesn't that bother you? I think he was after something else."  
  
"What?" Mole looked at him puzzled.  
  
"My son." 

TBC

Author's Notes: Avery VERY VERY big thank you to Silvia for forwarding this lost chapter to me. As some of you know six chapters of this story were eaten by a virus. I'm hoping to rewrite them. I wanted to get his one out there though so I would be inspired. I also only have computer access once a week so this may be a slow process but I will do my best. It's also finally getting warmer here. I can't write in winter because we have no heat, and sitting at the computer in –4 degrees C is too hard even for me.

Yeah I know there was a lot of Max torture in this one but there is a very good reason as to why she was so badly hurt – it had to be bad trust me. And don't blame Alec for not rushing off to save Jed he has to get intel on where they're keeping Jed – it's the smart thing to do.

I really had a lot of trouble with the retrospective - describing the past incident in the tunnel sigh . Anyway I hope it works and that you liekd it. I would love to hear from people again.

Till next time

Sarah


	12. Awakening

PLEASE READ ALL OTHER CHAPTERS FIRST IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THIS FOR A WHILE. THKS

Disclaimers in part 1

Today They Won the Battle Part 12

By Rhasa

The world came back to her slowly. Strangely enough, pain was not the first thing she became aware of. Before she could manage to open her eyes, she began to sense her surroundings. She was somewhere with lots of other people milling around her, but it was a place that was as quiet as it was hurried. People here seemed to be moving with certainty and purpose. Next, she could hear fragments of urgent whispers, and she could hear their movements with more clarity. As try as she might, she could not seem to reach outside of herself to let those around her know she hear them – feel them. Her mind as well as her body refused to co-operate. She fell back into herself with the effort and briefly worried over the strange thought that there was something urgent she should be considering, something dire that she had to comprehend just before she'd fall back into the deep slumber that was reluctant to release her.

It was only when she tried to move that she felt the pain.

Something had roused her. There were no words but there was a steady stroke to her forehead that was anything but comforting. She tried to turn her head away as fingers of the intruding hand swept up across her brow and down into her hair. In another time perhaps she would have thought the gesture endearing, but flashes of annoyance were all that she felt now. She began to raise her arm to knock the hand away, but a sharp stab of blinding pain on her side prevented her from doing anything but moan.

"Max!"

She heard her name, but was too busy trying to recover from her agony to respond.

"Max? Can you hear me? Max!"

After a few moments the worst of the pain had subside. She tried again to concentrate on

what she was hearing.

"Max. Hang on."

Those words she had heard before. They tugged at her mind, pulling her thoughts in a direction that they did not want to go.

"Max?"

Alec.

"Just hang on."

Alec had said those words.

Alec had begged those words.

"Max! Just hang on!"

And now she could hear those words again.

She struggled to open her eyes.

"Kyra? Come quick. I think.... I think she's regaining consciousness!"

Oh God how she hurt.

"Max?"

Alec.

She had hurt Alec.

Her thoughts started to become clearer, swimming before her in a haze but still discernable enough.

She had hurt Alec. Because she hadn't saved him.

She hadn't saved Jed.

Oh Nooooo!

She couldn't help the whimper that escaped from her lips.

"Max. I'm going to give you something for the pain."

She could hear Kyra's voice as clear as day now.

Alec, her heart screamed.

Jed.

Jed was torn from her.

She could still hear his cries.

Someone... . Joshua.... . Joshua had taken Jed from her arms....... as the tunnel collapsed around her...... She had blurred...... but was too late...... But not too late to see White's face smiling from the other side of the avalanche of debris.....

Jed!

Alec....

She squeezed her eyes tight as tears began to fall. It was not the physical pain that was causing her agony. It was her feelings of failure.

She felt a small prick in her arm as undoubtedly Kyra injected her with Morphine.

"Max!" she heard her name again. Hands were on her face, imploring her to wake further.

Alec, I'm sorry, she cried to herself.

"Max. Wake up. Please, just wake up!"

She pulled herself up through the darkness and opened her eyes slowly blinking away the tears that blurred her vision.

Her voice was weak, not much more than a whisper, strangled with emotion and utter shock. "Logan?"

"Oh thank God," he said, smiling.

Author's Note:

Is anyone still reading this??? Not sure since so few reviews for ch 11.

I know this was a really really short one. I did not manage to recover my chapters (which were longer than this) so I had another go and I had to leave things dangling here. Just to make the few (2?) faithful squirm. Cause I know you like to so much.

To put you out of your agony. this is not a dream Logan really has returned. What does this mean for Max and Alec? And where the hell is Alec, well all will be revealed if you are still reading.

I would really love for you to drop me a line about life the TC universe and everything. No joke, feedback and just conversation simle makes me write faster.

Drop me a line at or pls review

Til next time

Sarah


	13. Sacrifice

**Disclaimer: Not mine. James Cameron Fox et al. No infringement intended. No money being made.**

**RatingPG 13**

**ALL other information in part 1**

**Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 13**

**By Rhasa**

Logan couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face.

"Oh thank god," he said, as he brushed a hand across her brow.

Max stared in confusion.

"Logan?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, you're going to be all right. I know you are," Logan smiled.

Max head was swimming. She was desperately trying to process what was going on. The morphine was kicking in making it difficult to focus.

Logan.

Logan was here with her.

"Are you in much pain, Max?" Came another voice.

Max looked up slightly behind her to see Kyra, TC's closest thing to a doctor watching her with concern in her eyes.

"Kyra?"

"Yes," the woman said simply, a brief look of concern crossing her face. "Do you know where you are?"

Max looked around to see a room filled with a sea of makeshift cots. There were numerous IV stands pumping various contents into recipients. The smell of antiseptic was undisputable. Yes. She knew this place.

"You're in the infirmary," Kyra confirmed. "You were badly hurt in the attack on Terminal City."

"The attack?" Max whispered to herself, as she tried to sit up a little straighter.

"Don't try to move. You were very badly wounded," Kyra told her as she placed a hand on Max's shoulder to thwart any attempts at getting up out of bed.

"Tell me," Max demanded. "How bad is it?"

Logan took a deep breath. "You have a lot of internal damage. Your liver-"he began seriously taking her fingers in his.

"No. Not me," Max said, withdrawing her hand with a scowl. "Tell me, how bad is Terminal City? I'm taking that we were not completely overrun or I wouldn't be lying here. Tell me....." she coughed. "How many dead, what's the damage?"

"We can talk about that later. You're hurt and you need your rest," Logan said as he reached out again and placed a hand on her cheek, a gesture that she knew should be shocking for some reason.

"No. I need to know," Max said with more conviction

"Max, didn't you hear me?" Logan, asked, amazed that she was insisting.

"Kyra?" Max turned to her friend, hoping to find some understanding.

Kyra bowed her head a little. She seems to understand what her leader needed. "Forty-three dead. Another Seventy-five wounded. Six still critical. We're on back up generators still," she said as she raised her eyes overhead. "Our main electric supply was severely damaged. HQ and command centres virtually untouched. Accommodation on Oak, Harbor and Brook streets all but destroyed, that's where most of the casualties were located, there and the nests. Snipers took out a dozen or so. Most X5 digs are uninhabitable as stands. Sixty or so unaccounted for. We're assuming they took off when the fighting began. Whoever's left is bunking down in the cafeteria. Medical supplies are almost out. We're rationing everything on thirds. We're half way through our ammo. We've still got water, although we're storing what we can and testing the free supply every three hours to ensure against contamination."

"Why?"

"Because it was a single wave assault, Max," Kyra replied. "They only came once. They hit hard, I'll give them that, but since they've withdrawn they haven't come again, despite how weak we are. We're cautioning against the slow approach, starvation, or contamination of the drinking supply."

"They'll come again," Max whispered solemnly, her head suddenly pounding with all that she was processing.

"I think she's right, Max," Logan said, nodding towards Kyra. "They're planning something else."

"Give them time," Max asserted. "They'll come again, if we're as weak as you say we are they'll come-"

"It's been five days, Max."

"What?" Max jerked forward in shock. Logan grabbed her arms to steady her before she hissed in pain.

"You've been unconscious for five days," Kyra told her. "To tell you the truth we didn't think you would make it."

"Five days?" Max asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

"Five days and they haven't come again? But...... White...... I saw White, he knows how weak we are....."

Everything began to swim before her. The attack. A single wave assault. Dead. Wounded. But they were holding on. Starving maybe. Have to get out. Get supplies and food. The tunnels......White...... the tunnels......

"The tunnels!" Max cried as everything came back to her.

"The tunnels are destroyed. The only way in or out is the perimeter fence which we've further fortified for our protection" Kyra told her.

"But the tunnels! Alec. Where's Alec?"

Kyra looked at Logan, who had drawn back slightly.

Max looked at him "Logan? What? What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing," he said unconvincingly.

"I have to see Alec," she said more to herself than the man in front of her "Jed. I think White's got Jed. I have to tell him."

"It's been five days, Max," Logan looked at her. "Alec knows. Alec knows that White took Jed and Joshua."

"Joshua?" Max looked up in pained surprise. "They got Joshua too?"

Max tried to stifle a sob. It felt like a bad dream. She was still a little disoriented. She had lost so much time. She felt heavy and sluggish and couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. Five days. She had been out of it for five days. Alec and Joshua and Jed and now Logan before her ....... She knew that should bother her more than it did. She needed to get a grip.... To focus.......

"I need to see him. Where's Alec?"

"You need to rest," Logan said, trying to coax her back down onto the cot.

"No. I need to see Alec," she said louder, something akin to panic creeping into her voice.

"Max, you can 't-"

"I can if you help me. Help me, Logan!" She cried as she pushed herself forward again, attempting to swing herself to the side of the cot.

"No," he said as tightened his grips on her arms.

"Logan, please," she begged as she struggled to move past him

"Max! No!" he said, as he struggled with her force on force, finding it was relatively easy to hold onto her in her weakened state.

"Don't touch me!" Max screamed as she fought against his hold, before suddenly stilling herself with shock. Looking down at his bare hands firmly gripping the flesh on her forearms. His hands..... touching her.... "You found a cure, didn't you?" she asked him.

"Yes," Logan smiled.

Max stared at him. And for a moment something tugged at her heart. It was what they had wanted for so long. What he had wanted. But that seemed as if it had been a lifetime ago and before she could think about it anymore, she tampered that feeling down, looked at Logan square on and demanded that he help her. "I need to see Alec," she said.

"Max," Kyra interrupted. "You can't. You can't see Alec."

"Why?"

"Because......" Kyra began. "Because he........ White has him."

TBC

Am I cruel to leave things there??

I guess you might think so, but I needed to regroup before I finalise the next part and I didn't want to keep you guys hanging on too much for this one because of the nice nice things you wrote. Please write or review again. That's what helped me get this part or just hit review. 


	14. Risk

**Disclaimer: James Cameron et al. not mine no infrigement intended no money being made.**

**Rating: PG 13**

**Today 'They' Won the Battle Part 14**

**By Rhasa**

Max begged Logan to tell her everything.

He was reluctant at first, fearing she wouldn't be strong enough to handle the truth, but in the end she manage to persuade him, stopping just short of threatening him, with her claims that it was better to know the truth and face facts that not to know.

"I saw newscasts of the attack on Terminal City up in Canada," he told her. "Details were sketchy. The slant on the story was that the transgenics were responsible for the outbreak of shooting-"

"That's not true," Max sighed.

"Yeah, I know. But you wouldn't expect anything else would you?"

"No," Max admitted. "They still hate us."

"'They' as in the media?"

"'They' as in the general public," she sighed.

Logan nodded softly. "It took me a full two days to make it across the border and down into Seattle. I didn't quite receive the welcome I had hoped," he joked.................................................

"You came this close to getting' your head blown off!" Luke had yelled at him, holding his thumb and finger a mere inch apart. "Anything that moves out there, whether it is cop, cat, rat, snake, or human is currently a target. You have no idea of just how lucky you are."

Logan had approached Terminal City from the South, already knowing that he couldn't use the tunnels to get inside. He had no plan other than to walk straight up to the perimeter fence and hope that someone he knew would recognise him and somehow escort him in. Which is exactly, what happened, kind of – a bullet had whizzed so close past him, he wondered if it had left a permanent part in his hair. Now he stood on what remained of the loading docks, getting a dressing down from Luke.

"Hey, you guys don't exactly have a door bell," he said in his defense.

"You gotta understand," Mole said stepping out of the shadows. "They're just a little on edge," Mole told Logan, hinting towards the half dozen heavily armed, sentries that stood before him. "A little trigger happy. They're also extremely tired, hungry and....." he looked at his 'men' again focusing on two of the youngest that couldn't be more than twelve years old, "maybe even a little scared. Given what's happened and all."

"I understand," Logan said apologetically. "I'm sorry. But I couldn't think of another way. Last time I tried, comms were still down."

"I'm working on that," Dix said.

"I thought these might help," Logan said, as he reached into the backpack he was carrying and threw some circuitry towards Dix.

Dix caught it. "Thanks. Can't hurt." He said after inspecting the technology.

"You always come this prepared?" Mole asked, eyeing Logan with suspicion.

Logan shrugged. "It's not much. Just a few things I could quickly lay my hands on during my journey down here. I've also got a box of morphine, Novocain, bandages, a few other basics. I thought they might come in use," he said as he fished out some more packages and offered them to Mole.

"Yeah, especially for-"Luke began. Before Mole cut him off.

"I'm sure Kyra will appreciate them." Mole replied handing the supplies to one of the younger transgenics who took them and immediately ran off towards the infirmary.

"What we would also appreciate is any word from the street. What's the story out there?" Mole asked.

"The story is that you guys, for no reason, attacked the PD patrol. They returned fire and brought in reinforcements resulting in further, and I quote 'small squirmishes that have now been brought under control' end quote."

"That's bullshit!" Luke yelled.

"Squirmishes, hey? That's rich," Mole scoffed. "They nearly annihilate us with RPGs and it's considered a small squirmish."

"Yeah, well don't believe everything you read in the newspapers," Logan tried to return the humor.

"So, you planning on staying long or is this a flying visit?" Mole asked bluntly.

'That depends," Logan replied.

"On?" Mole pressed.

"On what he's doing here," Alec said as he entered the dock.

Logan nodded. "Hey Alec, long time no see."

"Logan," Alec nodded solemnly in return. "I see you made it pass the perimeter fence. You're lucky to be alive."

"If it wasn't for Dix recognising me on the security camera-"

"On one of only two security cameras still working after the attack," Dix clarified. 

"Yeah, well if it wasn't for that, I'd probably be dead."

"A big risk to take," Alec told him.

"Yeah, but worth it," Logan replied softly. "I came to see how things were."

"How things were?" Alec questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I saw the attack, well, some footage before they stopped airing it. But I have my sources and they got word to me. They said that things were pretty bad."

"Things are pretty bad," Alec admitted, casually, while folding in arms in front of him, in a definite defensive stand.

Logan couldn't help but notice the younger man's tired and drawn out features. He had aged a lot since they last laid eyes on one another. The seriousness of his body language confirmed Logan's suspicions that TC was hurting more than anyone was letting on. "So I see from the look of this place from the outside."

"Nothing a coat of paint won't fix," Dix joked.

Logan looked at Alec in near disbelief. "So you're all staying? No plans to evacuate?" he asked.

"You've seen this place," Alec said. "How can we get everyone out without further bloodshed?"

"How can you stay?" Logan challenged.

Alec sighed, "Well we're working on that."

Logan almost imperceptibly shook his head. He knew how strongly many of the transgenics, Max and Alec included, felt about Terminal City. Things would have to be pretty bad for them to abandon the place. But a part of him had hoped that they would see sense. He guessed they weren't ready to consider other options – at least not yet. Not wanting to get into the debate here and now with Alec, Logan did the only thing he could do.

"Like I said, I'm here to help," he offered.

"Just to help?" Alec asked, knowing Logan too well.

"To help...... and to see Max, make sure she's okay."

Alec nodded and hung his head.

"I was worried," Logan said, suddenly feeling as if he should explain himself further. "I take it she's off organising everything?" he asked looking around to indicate his surprise that she wasn't there to greet him.

"No," Alec replied tiredly.

"No?" Logan asked trying to read Alec's eyes. "Look Alec, let's not beat around the bush any longer. It's killing me standing here waiting for someone to tell me where she is. I just need to see her. I was worried. I am worried."

"You have good reason to be."

"Why?"

"She was hurt."

A muscle twitched in Logan's jaw. "Hurt? Bad?"

"About as bad as it gets," Alec told him.

"Can I see her?

"Yeah," Alec said uncomfortably, before recovering himself. "Come on, she's in the infirmary."

Alec stood back, looking as awkward as he felt, as Kyra filled Logan in on Max's condition. A part of him felt sorry for Logan. The man had visibly paled when he first caught sight of Max lying all broken before him. At least Alec had had a few days to come to grips with the seriousness of Max's condition; for Logan it was obviously a shock.

Alec could hear Kyra and Logan's hushed tones.

"She's too weak to move. Internal damage. There's no way we can tell how bad it is," Kyra was telling him.

He wasn't surprised when Logan started to argue that they should get Max to a real hospital. It was nothing that Alec, Kyra, Mole, Dix, and a number of other trusted transgenics hadn't debated before.

To her credit, Kyra took the time to once again patiently explain why attempting to move Max could potentially kill her and that the best option, despite the lack of medicines and equipment, was to keep Max here.

"I believe we've stabilised her blood loss," she told him. "All we can do now is leave the healing up to her and just......wait." Kyra placed a hand on Logan's shoulder, a sign of compassion and understanding, before returning to her other patients.

Alec watched uncomfortably. "She's strong, Logan," he said.

Logan nodded, softly.

Alec didn't know what else to say, so he hung his head and leaned against the wall, intending to give Logan all the time he needed to take all of it in, but for some reason not wanting to give him complete privacy and time alone with Max.

Logan stood still looking at Max for what seemed to Alec like an eternity, before moving towards the cot, bending, and placing a soft lingering kiss on Max's lips.

"Max," he whispered softly on a breath. "Come back to me."

A physical pain shot through Alec's chest. He was caught by complete surprise and took a step forward before stopping himself. "You found a cure," he said.

"Yes."

"When?" Alec asked.

"About six weeks ago. I wasn't sure if it would work though. We only had a limited supply of Max's blood to test vaccines on. We ran out of that about three months ago. We went on the data we had from initial tests, but...... well, we still weren't sure."

"And yet you kissed her," Alec said softly. "Quite a risk."

"I must be feeling a little reckless today," Logan shrugged, while taking hold of Max's hand. "That's the second big risk I've taken."

Alec looked at Logan's hand clutching Max's own. His heart was beating furiously fast and a sickening feeling was rising up inside of him. He didn't want the older man to touch her. A possessiveness took over him that was rapidly leading to anger.

"She looks older," Logan said, his words breaking Alec's thoughts.

"She is," Alec informed him. "It's been a while."

"I guess it has," Logan softly chuckled. "Although it seems like yesterday. I still remember being by her side like it was yesterday."

"A lot has happened since then," Alec said, hoping that Logan would push the issue. Perhaps it was time to lay it all on the line.

"You know I worried.... When I first left Terminal City...... I knew it would probably be a long time before I found a cure and I worried that I might.....well, that things might change.....that my feelings for Max might change because of the distance and the time that would be between us." Logan turned to look at Alec directly. "But hearing about the attack, fearing for her safety, and now seeing her lying here, I now realise that I needn't have worried."

And there it was, Logan's declaration. He was still in love with Max. Despite the promises that they made to each other when he left Terminal City – that they would move on, for their own good – despite their understanding that time heals all wounds and love fades, he still loved her. Alec knew he had to put things straight. He had to tell him how he felt about Max, so there wouldn't be any misunderstanding. "Logan, there's something you should know-" he began, but was interrupted by Luke bursting into the infirmary.

"Alec, you had better come quick," he called.

"What is it?" Alec asked immediately stepping forward.

"We've received a message from White. Jed and Joshua's alive.".......................................................................

"White wants his son, Max" Logan told her. He feared he had let her know too much already, but he knew he must also tell the rest of the horrible truth. She was bound to find out.

"Ray?"

"Yes. And he's using Jed to get him back," he told her, carefully watching her reaction. "Alec suggested a trade," he added softly. "Him for Jed."

"What? Why?" Max cried.

"To buy some time. He knew we didn't know where Ray was and he knew that giving Ray back to his father was not an option. White's threatened to kill Jed if he didn't get his son back."

"But it would be a trap! White would never hand Jed over like that!"

"Alec knew that."

"Then why? Why would he do something so stupid?" she asked her voice strained.

Logan shrugged. "Because he loves his son. He's changed a lot since I last saw him. I was surprised to find out he had a son. But he loves him and he knew that White would trick him or most likely be setting a trap. It didn't matter, he felt he might be able to so something.... Arrange an escape..... something.... If he was there. He couldn't sit by and just do nothing. He said he'd never forgive himself. He and Mole took off before anyone could convince them to wait."

"White didn't honor the deal, did he?"

"Did you really expect him to?"

"No."

"Alec was captured. Jed hasn't been released. We've heard nothing from Mole."

"Well then how......," Max began trying to think it all through. "You said Mole and Alec took off?"

"Yes."

"Just the two of them?"

Logan nodded. "They left while the others and I were discussing options."

"And if we haven't heard.... Then how do we know White has him? He might have-"

Logan shook his head. "White has him."

Max sat up a bit straighter. "He could have-"

"No Max," Logan said insistently. "Listen to me. White has him. We know for sure."

"How?" she asked, her brow wrinkled with worry.

Logan looked down, "Because......"he hesitated.

"How Logan?" Max insisted.

"Because, White sent us a tape. A video tape."

"Of what?"

"Of Alec's torture."

TBC

Okay.....Hmmm I don't know what to say after that. I hope the flash back wasn't too confusing. Logan was telling Max what happened when she was in a coma.

I would love to hear from you guys. I loved your reactions to when I brought Logan back (for real this time). All I ask is that you have a little faith – there's an important role for Logan. A few of you have picked up that things that happened in earlier chapters were prophetic. Well there's lots of clues back there of where this is going with a couple more twists and turns to come. I hope you're enjoying it. Please let me know.

Til next time Sarah


	15. Loss

Today 'They' Won the Battle part 15

By Rhasa

Rating PG 13

Disclaimer: Not mine. No money is being made. No infringement intended.

It took a full thirty minutes - half of which was spent vehemently arguing with both Kyra and Logan - for Max to literally drag herself to the command centre. There was no way that she was going to remain in the infirmary once she heard the news of Alec's capture. A drugged and badly injured X5 was still an X5, and despite thinking he had the upper hand for a while when Max was still on the cot, Logan found he couldn't keep her down when she was hell bent on getting word about Alec. Logan finally gave up and assisted her for the last twenty metres or so, after she grabbed the wall near the stairs and began to sway - drops of sweat running from her brow. He was afraid that if he didn't help her, she would have collapsed.

Logan had wondered if it was wise of Kyra to fill Max in on all the details of Alec's capture. But Max had been insistent about it.

Max had gritted her teeth in anger. "Tell me. Tell me everything," she had demanded of him.

But it was Kyra who fully apprised Max of their situation.

"Yesterday, Alec and Mole left to go after Jed and Joshua," Kyra told her solemnly.

"By themselves?" Max cried in disbelief. "Without backup?"

"Yes," Kyra answered honestly.

"We have to find them," Max said with urgency. "We have to get them back."

Kyra looked down, shuffled her feet uncomfortably, and stole a glance towards Logan, who tried to avoid eye contact. Their body language did not go unnoticed by Max.

"What aren't you telling me, Kyra?" she asked. Kyra's hesitation in answering only made Max more uneasy. "Kyra, tell me," she demanded.

Kyra looked up at her leader, and shook the hesitation from her stance. She stared straight into Max's eyes and gave it to her straight. "Alec traded himself for Joshua."

"Traded?" Max queried. "I don't understand. Alec wouldn't 'trade' himself, or anyone else for that matter, for anything. X5s do not negotiate for anything, least of all hostages."

It was one of the first things they had learnt at Manticore. Negotiation and trading is not an option. Doubly so when it comes to Ames White, Max thought. Deep down inside, Max knew Alec would not have been so stupid as to fall for the cultist's trap.

"Well, for whatever his reasons, Alec 'did' trade himself for Joshua," said Kyra

"Then we know where to find him," Max said optimistically. "Joshua could give us some idea of his location. Some clue. Even if he was blindfolded and never saw where he was held. It's a starting point…We have to talk to Josh—" Max, began as she turned to leave to find her 'big' fella.

"Max, wait, no," Logan called, as he grabbed her arm before she was out of reach.

"Come on, Logan. There's no time to waste!" Max cursed Logan inwardly for trying to stop her.

"No. There's more. Wait," the older man tried to explain. "Please," he pleaded with her. "There's more. And there's no easy way of saying this, so I'm just going to tell you what happened." Before continuing, Logan looked at Kyra, seeking support. Kyra nodded. "Max, we know Alec traded himself for Joshua because a message was delivered not long after he and Mole left Terminal City to find Jed, Joshua and White."

"What did the message say?"

"The message 'was' Joshua. His…… body ……was dumped at the north gate. He's dead, Max. Joshua's dead. White killed him. Beat him to death, it looks like. A warning accompanied the body. It alluded to the trade and said if White didn't get Ray back soon, they'd be making another 'delivery', only next time it would be Alec's body. To 'assist' us with a quick reply, they also sent the tape."

Max felt her insides swimming. Nausea built up inside of her. She heard and felt a pounding in her ears. Could it be true? Joshua dead? Not her sweet, lovable Joshua. She suddenly felt that she couldn't breathe. Her lungs heaved and ached and she tried to draw in breath. She was only vaguely away of Logan's arms around her, guiding her to a nearby chair. A chilled sweat broke swept over her body as Logan admonished Kyra, "I knew telling her was a bad idea. It's too soon. She's too weak…"

Max took a few deep breaths.

"Max, I think you had better lie down, " Logan told her.

She opened her eyes willing the sots before them to clear. "I want to see the tape," she whispered, her words weak

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Max," Logan replied.

"I want to see Joshua."

Logan knelt beside her. "You need to rest. You're weak; I don't think you understand what you've been through."

She raised her face to look at the older man before her and read the worry in his eyes. Pushing that aside she told him, "I want to see the tape. It's too late for Joshua, but maybe it's not too late for Alec."

"I don't think that's a good idea-"

"I don't give a damn what she think," she said gruffly.

After a few tense moments of silence, Logan did the only thing he thought he could do. He nodded silently, rose and held out his hand to help her up.

By the time Max arrived at the command centre, word had spread of her 'recovery' resulting in a somewhat larger than usual crowd drawing close to the Hub of Terminal City.

The whispers surrounding her sudden reappearance in the command centre went unnoticed by Max, but not so by Logan, who was trying hard to ignore the comments.

"God she looks bad."

"I thought the word was she wouldn't pull through?"

"Have you looked at her? She still mightn't."

"It obvious she's just heard about Alec."

"Talk about not pulling through. He's as good as dead."

"We don't know that."

"If she's here, then there's hope for Alec and Jed. Too bad about Joshua…"

"This is White we're talking about. There is no hope where he's concern. No mercy either. Alec's as good as dead, I tell ya'. Better get used to the idea."

Logan turned his attention away from the transgenics and back towards Max. She was on the mezzanine huddled over the large table that was the heart of the command centre, clutching her side.

He couldn't understand why she was doing this. She wasn't anywhere near being well enough to be giving orders. She needed her rest. White already had Alec; there was little she could do for him now in her present state. With his hand on the rail, he climbed the stairs, his exoskeleton whirring slowly. He couldn't help wonder to himself, just what it was she hoped to achieve by dragging herself out of bed. As he drew closer, he could hear the conversation between herself and Dix.

'….you sure?" she was asking Dix to confirm something. Tears were in her eyes.

"Yes," Dix replied.

"I want to see it."

"Max, no," Dix implored.

"Yes. I have to. I have to see for myself," she told him softly.

Taking in the sadness in her eyes, Dix looked away. "No. Just take my word," he begged. "Our word," he said with a sweep of his hand to take in Luke and Travis who were sitting off slightly to one side within earshot. "It's authentic."

"But they could do all sorts of tricks," she offered in a weak tear choked reply.

"No Max. Not this time. It's him," Dix said looking down, not wanting to see the pain in her eyes, not wanting to be the one to confirm the awful truth for her.

"But they can clone. It could be a clone. Another twin?"

"We thought of that. But we saw his scar, his bullet wound from when the siege began. The stab wound he took on the Korean heist. They're identifying features. It's him."

"Then I want to see it! Show it to me," She said with more force, as tears started to fall down her cheeks.

"Max, no,' Travis began, as he came to stand next to Dix offering as much support to his friend as he could.

"SHOW ME THE DAMN TAPE!" she yelled, before what strength she had that was supporting her gave out causing her to collapse towards the table.

Logan caught her just in time. She winced as the arm that he was using to steady her brushed against her injuries. "I got ya," he whispered in her ear.

A small sob broke from her throat. She was in so much pain, she was almost to the point of total exhaustion, but most of all she was worried and fearful…… fearful that what they were saying was indeed true. White had Alec. White had Jed. White had Alec…… and Joshua was dead.

The tears continued to flow down her cheeks, she couldn't help them. With every breath she took in an attempt to quell her sobs, her chest ached with a fire that seemed unbearable. It was too much…… It was all too much…..

As the pain began to ebb away once more, she began to get her breathing under control. She once again came back to herself, only to find herself being cradled protectively in Logan's lap, his hand making gentle soothing strokes against her back. She looked up into his eyes. It had been such a long time since she had seen him. A long, long time since she had really looked into his soul. She saw some familiar emotions within the depths of his eyes – his concern for her – that always present worry he had for her safety and well being – and …. and his love. It was there just beneath the surface. She had wondered over the many months since they parted if he would still love her as he claimed he would when he first left. She had wondered, but never really hoped.

"You need to rest," he gently admonished her. "You can't do him any good if you collapse on us again."

Max sat there looking at him. Could he tell? Could he tell what was exactly in her heart? She had once thought that she would love the man that was now before her forever. But what they had had together had been so long ago… and she had been another person. Alec. Her heart burst at the thought of him. Alec……

"I need to know," she whispered back at him.

Logan nodded softly, as Max turned back towards Dix.

"I need to know it all. How did it happen? Why it happened. And I need to see the tape," she added almost politely. "Please Dix. It's Alec. I need to see him."

"Are you sure?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she cried.

She no longer tried to hide the tears. A part of her deep down inside felt that it was wrong to show such weakness in front of the others. But she was beyond caring what anyone else thought. Besides, she wasn't the only one who was crying.

Most of those in the command centre couldn't force themselves to watch all of the recording of Alec's torture. They had been enduring it for the past half hour. Some had left; two or maybe more had turned hastily away to throw up - the brutality of the branding too much for them to bear. Others stood watching stoically as White and his goons took turns in beating Alec, only to look away when the bastards resorted to more, as they put it, 'persuasive' methods.

Max sat and watched. Her legs wouldn't support her. Tears streamed down her face, as they beat, burnt, stabbed, and strangled to near unconsciousness, a helpless Alec. She knew what she were witnessing wasn't the first round of torture that had inflicted upon him. When White had dragged Alec before the camera he was already broken and subdued, so much so, that throughout all that she witnessed him endure, not once did he scream or cry out. He was reduced to flinching and wincing, all the while White ranted and raved, spat, kicked, and demanded to know where his son was.

Oh god. Alec, I'm so sorry, Max thought.

She was struggling to get some control over her emotions, to allow herself to think this thing through more clearly, but the pain she felt was almost overwhelming. To see Alec suffering like that, endearing such intolerable pain that because of something she had done……White wanted his son. Ray. The son that Max and Logan had 'rescued' and placed into hiding in order to protect him from his sadistic father.

Max closed her eyes tightly, trying desperately to overcome her grief and to think. Why now? After all this time. Why is he so desperate to get Ray back now? And how can we help Alec?

"……an eye for an eye!" White was screaming at Alec when Max opened her eyes again. Alec was draped between the arms of two of White's goons, dangling there like a rag doll. Max watched his chest, partly obscured by his head that hung limply in front of him, rise and fall rapidly, relieved to know that at least he was still breathing.

"Revenge!" White was screaming now, as he bent to raise Alec's face in his hands. "Look at me you filfth!" White spat in Alec's face.

Max held her breath as Alec's head rose, cupped in the palm of White's hand. A slap from White and he opened his severely swollen eyes. Max gasped. He was not looking at White; he was looking directly at the camera. He was looking directly at her…… as if he knew….. knew that she would see this….. She was sure, he was looking just at her…. The light in the room in which he was held was enough for Max to see the deep red from the hemorrhaging behind his eyes. She looked deep into those wounded eyes, her heart breaking at the pain, the loss, and most of all the regret she saw there.

Oh god, Alec, she cried. Not like this, she thought. Anything but this……

He continued to stare directly ahead, his gaze defiant. Max gazed back at him a full ten seconds before she realised that Dix had stopped the tape."

"What?" she said, as she hastily wiped at her face.

"There's no need to see more."

"Why?"

"Because, I can just tell you the rest," Dix offered.

"No. I want to see it all."

"Max. It isn't suitable for everyone to see," Travis said jerking his head in the direction of the others that were still watching.

"They can leave if they want to," she said abruptly. "They can leave….."

But no one did. They stayed as a hesitant Dix gave in and pushed play once more.

"You will see what it is like to miss a son!" White shouted before he moved out of camera shot. A moment later, he returned holding a screaming Jed in his arms.

To be continued…..

Author's Note:

I have to thank Care Bear 369369 for kickin' my butt. Because without said butt kick, I think I would have probably abandoned this fic all together. After I wrote it once, and then lost it, I just couldn't seem to get past Alec's capture and torture. It was just too dark, too depressing in my mind and I didn't really want to tackle it. As for the cliff hangers, I know they really annoy some of you, but I can't help it. They just come out that way.

I would love to receive some reviews for this. Please review or drop me a line at my new email address


	16. Slim chances

Today 'They' Won the Battle

Chapter 16

By Rhasa

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: Not my property. No money being made. No infringement intended.

Agony. That was the only word to describe it. Utter and complete agony. Alec had never felt so much pain.

The cold concrete on which he was lying sent a deep chill right through his body. It had been warm for a while a few hours ago – the heat from his own blood that was steadily seeping out of him from the various stab wounds he had suffered had offered some relief from the cold. But now, his blood had coagulated and dried. No doubt he was still bleeding internally. He knew that cold was a main symptom of shock, and as another shiver wracked his body he admitted to himself that it was only a matter of time before he bled to death.

Alec coughed. The sharp pain that shot through his side was almost enough to make him black out again. He fought the spots before his eyes and the nausea in his belly. He had to stay awake. If he slept it would be over for him. God he was cold.

Mole hates the cold, he thought. Then he wondered if his friend had managed to get away from his captors. Despite their efforts, White's goons had taken both he and Mole by surprise down at the waterfront. The 'agreement' - if you could call it that - was that Alec would trade himself for Joshua. White had no use for the dogman, had told Alec as much when, they had met at opposite sides of the pier. Alec was no fool. He knew it was probably a trap. He had set Mole up in a hidden location on the pier. Alec's capture would allow Mole to follow them back to their base, then return to Terminal City round up the troops and deploy a full assault on their enemy. It would also allow Alec to get closer to his son, and by some miracle, maybe even result in Joshua's release.

"It's suicide, you know that right?" Mole had asked him. "There's a million to one chance you and/or Joshua will make it out of there alive."

"Don't ever tell me the odds," Alec had joked.

"I'm serious. You're as good as signing your death warrant if you hand yourself over to White."

Alec had looked straight at his friend. "I can't see another way," He said, seriously, honestly. "We don't know where White's base is. We don't know where they're keeping Jed or Joshua, and we don't know how long it will be before ol' Ames gets impatient with us and begins another assault on TC in order to get information on his son. We're running out of time. This is the quickest way to get to them. I'm countin' on you buddy."

Mole didn't say anything for a moment. "Max would kick your butt if she knew what you're doing," he finally replied.

"Well lucky for me, she's not up to any butt kicking at the moment," Alec replied sadly, while staring off into the distance. Alec didn't want to think about Max right now. He couldn't think about her right now, not if he was determined to go through with this. The image of her lying broken and bleeding in the infirmary flashed across his mind. He should be there, by her side. He hadn't wanted to leave her at all. But he needed to find Jed, and Joshua and White so he could kill the bastard that did that to her. He had waited – perhaps too long, he had feared. And then he couldn't stay any longer. Not after they had received word from White. Not after Logan had arrived. Not after Logan had kissed her and declared that he was still in love with her……

"Hey, " Mole nudged him. "If you're going to do this, you need to keep your head in the game. You can't be worrying about, Max."

"Easier said than done," Alec told him.

"She'll be okay. She's tough. The toughest. The fact that she was still holding on when she left…… She'll get through this."

"With Logan at her side, no doubt," Alec whispered to himself.

"Come on. It's almost time. We better get into position," Mole directed. He walked a couple of steps towards the pier, then turned to the X5. "I'll be seeing ya' buddy. Sometime soon."

Alec merely nodded before making moves to head off in the opposite direction.

"Hey!" Alec called out to Mole as he turned and walked a few feet towards the position they had chosen he hide in to keep watch on the trade. "Mole, if I don't make it back….. Tell, Max….. tell her, for me that …..I love her. Always have. Always will."

Mole pierced him with a gaze, then dropped his eyes to look at his feet before looking up again. "What am I? A friggin' Hallmark card? Tell her yourself," he replied with joking gruffness in his voice, before he saluted his friend and turned to take up his position.

Alec wasn't surprised when the trade had turned into a trap. What did surprise him was they were onto Mole's presence from the beginning. Completely out numbered, Alec had managed to draw the majority of the warriors away from his Lizard friend and yelled at him to 'run'. Alec didn't get an opportunity to see whether Mole had made it out of there before he was rendered unconscious by the stun of six or so tasers. Damn he hated those things. They stung like the dickens, not to mention made your insides feel like they'd just spent ten minutes in a microwave oven.

God, Alec hoped he had gotten away. He hoped he had managed to make it back to Terminal City…… to Max.

"Max, I'm sorry," he whispered.

Was she still alive?

Yes. Somehow, he knew she was. She was alive and no doubt mad as hell with him for getting himself in this situation. Mad and probably helpless -- as helpless as he now felt in helping his son and Joshua…..

Another cough took hold of Alec. This one much more powerful then the last. The metallic taste of blood overwhelmed him, and he spent minutes retching on the cold floor of his cell and then trying to catch his breath.

A cry could be heard off in the distance. Alec tried desperately to sit up and listen. His heart rate increased and he panted for breath. It was Jed's cry of that he was certain. He collapsed back don onto the concrete floor, tears spilling from his eyes over his cheeks and splashing against the gray concrete beneath.

At least Jed – his son- was still alive.

Alec had only caught a glimpse of Jed when White had threatened to kill him during his last interrogation. He knew White had been using Jed to taunt him, but that didn't make it any easier to hear the screams that were coming from his child – screams that were more to do with fear than harm. Alec had tried to rally any strength that he still possessed when White had Jed, but all he could manage was to raise his head a little. White made it clear in no uncertain terms that he would not hesitate to kill the child but had stopped short of doing the deed. There was still some use for Jed, and as long as there was, Alec prayed it would be enough to keep him relatively safe.

Alec knew he couldn't say the same for himself though. White had no doubt determined by now that he had no knowledge of where Ray was. It was only a matter of time before they came for him again. In the relatively short time he had been here, Alec had determined a pattern. A nice little interrogation session where he would be rendered unconscious, a few hours of rest and relaxation, enough to regain a small amount of strength and consciousness and then another round of beatings, slashings and all out nastiness.

As if on cue, Alec heard footsteps outside in the corridor.

This was it, he thought to himself. Wondering for a moment if it would be easier somehow, less painful maybe, if he just gave in to it, he felt his body relax. His doubt was only temporary though, as he heard the key in the lock he tensed his body, assessed his reflexes, which were all but shot, and fought earnestly to get himself into any kind of a position from which eh could deliver a blow or a kick or even a bite to his attackers. Damn them all to hell if he wasn't going to go down fighting.

And just as he resigned himself to the fact that these were probably his last moments on this blessed earth, he recognised the face of the person coming through the door.

"Mary?" he croaked in surprise.

To be continued…….

Author's Note:

I didn't realsie just how rusty I was… am. I'm glad that some of you are still reading. The way I see it, while we can't earn money from writing fanfic, being reviewed is all the payment I need. If you've read it, please let me know. It makes it all worth while to know that you're not writing for nothing.

Okay, so Alec should not have been as 'lucid' as he was in this chapter given the horrendous torture he endured at the hands of White – but I needed his thoughts on a few things, so let's just say that after his incredibly near death beatings, his enhanced healing powers allowed him to recover enough to think straight – at least somewhat. He still couldn't move very much, though. I've always thought it takes far more to break the mind of an X5 than to break the body after everything that was said about Psy Ops.

Yes it's Mary, Jed's mother. The plot thickens. But I'm impressed that some of you already guessed. First rule of writing and/or movie making: never introduce a 'secondary' (as opposed to a peripheral or extra) character and have them say more than half a page of dialogue if they are not important to the plot (or in some rare circumstances integral to exploring the characterisation of the main protagonists. Got that? Same goes for dreams… hint hint). It's a given.

Also, apologies for this chapter 'jumping' around a bit. I think there was almost a year that passed between writing this chapter and the last, so things probably aren't as smooth as they should be. Oh and before you ask, Alec doesn't know about Joshua's fate yet.

Please please review, it would make both my day and me post the next chapter faster. next time

Sarah


	17. The plan

Today 'They' Won the Battle

By Rhasa

Part 17

Disclaimer: Not mine Eglee and cameron et al. No money being made. No infringement intended.

**The plan**

He had expected something different. A yell. A slug maybe – that was, if she had recovered any sort of strength by now. The last thing that Mole had expected when he made his way back into the command centre of Terminal City was for Max to be up and hobbling around and for her to throw her arms around his neck and give him a hug – as weak as it was.

"You're alive…." She had whispered weakly in his ear.

"And grateful for it," he told her as he allowed her to hold him for a moment or two, while looking up at Logan who was standing nearby.

"We thought you must be dead," Max admitted when she pulled back. "It's been a while since you left and then when they didn't hear from you or Alec…… Well they assumed the worst." She threw her head in the direction of Luke and Dix who had come to welcome their friend home.

Mole nodded. He knew that he would have to do some quick explaining when he got back. "We ran into some trouble, which is an understatement," he said. He paused while deciding just where to begin. Never one for beating around the bush, he looked at his leader and gave it to her straight. "Max, White's got Alec."

"I know," she said simply and sadly.

"How?" the lizard man asked.

For a second, he saw a flicker in Max's eye, something he couldn't quite read. But then she righted herself, and told him, "First things first. Do you know where White's keeping him?"

"Yes," Mole replied simply.

"Then the 'how's and all the rest can wait for later," she told him. "We need to get him out of there. And we need you to tell us everything you know."

"I'm sorry. I would have had this information back sooner, but I just couldn't shake them," Mole said apologetically, as Luke handed him a cup of water. He was grateful for the cool liquid. He paused to take a sip. Both Luke and Dix had been fussing over him like two mother hens ever since he had walked back into the command centre. He had shaken their attentions off until now, but after a full twenty minutes of talking, he finally accepted their offer, and wet his whistle, so he could continue to brief Max.

The information Mole provided ws more than Max had hoped for - Alec's location; the warehouse where he was being held; an estimate of the number of enemy forces and a breakdown of the type of fire power they seemed to have on hand (at least the ones Mole could see). Max had to had it to the guy. He sure was good at what he did. Getting that kind of intel wasn't easy.

After draining the water, Logan took the canteen from Luke's hand and moved forward to refill Mole's cup. The repitlian shook off the ordinaries' gesture and pierced him with an uncomfortable glare. "No thanks. I'm good," he croaked.

"You were lucky to get away from them," Logan told him.

"I managed to give them the slip at the pier and then follow them back to base," Mole continued. "But after an hour or so outside the perimetre they were on my tail again. They followed me into the sewers. They chased me for twenty-two hours. Lucky for me I could tolerate the stench. I think that's what made them give up after so long."

"Yes. Lucky for you," Logan replied solemnly.

Mole looked up at Logan's comments. Staring into the older man's face, something dawned on him. "Just what are you implying?" he asked.

Logan stepped backed and folded his arms. "I was just thinking."

"Yeah, well, whatever it is you're thinking, think it out loud would ya'" Mole challenged him.

"Well, I just think that you were incredibly lucky, that's all," Logan continued. "I mean these are familiars we're talking about. Not the kind of warriors that give up so easily."

Max, sitting in the chair at the head of the command centre table shifted uncomfortably in her seat, then looked from Logan to Mole and back again. "You think they 'let' Mole go?" she asked softly.

Logan looked over at her, noticed the small beads of sweat that broke out across her brow. She was pale and obviously in pain. He thought about arguing with her yet again - telling her to go to the infirmary - but all previous attempts to have her take it easy had failed and he knew she would rather use her strength arguing with him than heeding his warnings– especially when she was hell bent on finding a way to rescue Alec and Jed. Sooner or later she would collapse, of that he was certain. "Forgive me if I am just a little bit paranoid when it comes to White and these freaks-"

"I'd watch your use of that term there, if I were you Logan," Mole quietly threatened.

Ignoring him, Logan pushed on to make his point. "I'm just saying, I can't imagine why they would give up on you like that. They knew you knew their location, and that in all probability you were returning to Terminal City, and so what? Things get a little on the nose and they head home?"

Max thought about what Logan was saying for a moment, before asking an obviously miffed Mole, "Any chance they deliberately let you get away?"

Logan didn't miss the muscles that twtiched in Mole's neck. He obviously hated the fact that Max was taking his theories seriously. That, and he hated to be second guessed. His prowess was at stake.

"I don't think so," Mole answered curtly. "But then I was running for my life at the time. I didn't think to stop and ask if they were serious or just playing around."

"If they let you get away, then we have to assume it was because they want us to attack," Max said.

"Maybe Mole was just good at evading them?" Luke offered meekly.

Max looked from Luke to Mole. "I'm not doubting you, Mole," she said. "We just have to be prepared. We wondered why they ddn't come into TC after the first assault, especially knowing how weak we were. They may have resons to want to draw us out in the open. They may want us to bring the fight to them. They may have let you go because of that. But even if you did manage to evade them, even if this isn't some kind of set up, they still know that we know where they are. If it's not a trap then they may want to move base asap, or they're preparing to face us head on. Either way, we can rule out a surprise attack. So we have to come up with other options and we had better come up with them fast. We don't have much time."

"Any chance we could hand White's son over to him?" Dix asked.

"Not a chance. We could never live with that kind of blood on our hands," Max told him emphatically.

"Besides, White wouldn't honour the deal, anyway," Luke told him.

"What about Lydecker?" Mole suggested.

"What about him?" Max asked tersely.

"Face it, Max. We might not be able to do this on our own. Maybe we could do a deal-" Mole began to explain before being cut off.

"Too risky," Logan dismissed with a shake of his head. "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't, don't you think?"

"I take your point, Mole" Max said. "Making some sort of deal with Lydecker or the US military is something Alec and I have discussed before. It was seen as one possible long term plan. We might look at that if we run out of other options. Apart from the obvious disadvantages, it takes time to set something like that up. Time we just don't have. Time that Alec doesn't have……." she finished softly.

Max couldn't let herself really think about how little time they may have. Alec was depending on her, and she was afraid she would let him down – again. Suddenly overcome with a tiredness she had been desperately trying to repress, she closed her eyes. She could see Alec, standing over her when she was hurt in the tunnels, begging her to hang on, begging her to live. Distancing herself from the world around her, she thought silently to herself, 'Hold on Alec, please. Don't give up on me. I'm coming……" and as a secret afterthought, "I love you…."

As her private prayers overwhelmed her, causing tears to well up in her eyes, she heard a voice, and looked up again. "There is a way," Logan had whispered.

"What?" Max questioned what she heard him say.

Staring at her, Logan seemed to swallow hard. He shuffled his feet and nervously shoved his hands in his pockets. Sighing, he looked straight at Max. "Max, we need to talk. In private," he said.

Wrinkling her brow in confusion, Max questioned him again. "You said there's a way."

"Yes. I think so. There could be, but we need to talk," he said a little stronger.

Leaning forward, Max couldn't stop impatience in her voice. "Tell me Logan. Tell me how we can save Alec."

"I will," Logan said, as he took a few steps towards her. "But there's something I have to say first, if we could just go somewhere-"

"No," Max said, getting increasingly angry. "Tell me. Tell me now!"

Logan clenched his jaw, stole a look at the others around him, then came and knelt in fron of Max. "Max, I love you. I've always loved you. I know when we parted we….. Well, we thought that it was hopeless, us being together. We kinda agreed to move on, because it was too painful not being able to be together. But with the cure, things have changed. I've made plans, long term plans - for us to be together."

Max stared dumbfounded. "I don't understand."

"I know. I know," he repeated. "I promised myself that I would take things slow that I'd give you time. I thought you'd need time to understand…."

"Understand what, Logan? You're not making any sense," Max told him, her brow wrinkled in annoyance.

"I've always prided myself on being a rational man. Everything, no matter how screwed up was relatively easy before I met you. The good guys the bad guys, my purpose in life. My work on Eyes Only … It's what I believed in. And I thought I could go back to that. Even in Canada I thought I could still fight the good fight, but I can't," he told her. "Because of you. I love you Max. You're all I've thought about. I worry every day. My life is never going to be the same."

Max's head was swimming as she tried to understand just what it was that the older man was trying to say. He loved her? What did his loving her have to do with saving Alec? She tried to concentrate on the one thing that he had said that made sense to her. "You said there's a way to help Alec."

Logan sighed again, He couldn't hide the fact that he had expected to say something else after he had just poured his heart out to her. "Yes. I think there is," he told her, sadly.

"What is it?"

Logan stood up abruptly, and turned his back on her a little before answering. "A neuro toxin that I believe will work on White and the cultists and not Alec or any X5 for that matter. Their blood chemistry is different. We know that from the ceremony they endure to join the cult. The one you watched Ray go through. The poison from the snake venom, alters their DNA, gives them….. abilities. But like every venom, there's a way to make an anti venom. If we can the administer the toxin somehow, as in an aerosol form, it should knock them out. Our people, some X5s will then be able to go in and recover Alec without succumbing."

The way Logan had said 'our people" was not lost on Max and Mole as they exchanged looks.

"Will it kill them?" she asked.

"I don't know about kill. I don't think so. Incapacitate them, definitely. But to what extent I can't be certain. At the very least, it should be enough to give whoever goes in there the advantage."

"How did you come across this toxin?" Dix asked.

Logan looked up, as if he only just remembered that others were in the room. "Through the work we did on Max's blood trying to find a vaccine to the virus," he told the mutant coldly.

"I don't understand," Max said puzzled. "To make an anti venom you need an amount of venom. How did you—"

Logan sighed again, his shoulders dropped as if an incredible weight had just settled there. "It's a long and rather complicated story," he said dismissively. "But one that may just end with giving Alec a fighting chance."

"And you can get access to this toxin?" Mole asked.

"Actually, I have it on me. I brought it down from Canada. Thought it might come in handy. All we need is for Kyra, or whoever, to develop a way of administering it."

"Well then let's go. Kyra's in the infirmary," Max said, as she made an attempt to move.

"Sage has a background in chemistry. Biological weaponry unit," Luke told them. "Dix and I will round him up."

"I'll let Kyra know we're coming," Mole informed the group as he, Luke and Dix moved out of the command centre.

Taking the opportunity to finally talk to her alone, Logan moved towards Max, stilling her with a firm grip on her arm.

Fearing he was about to tell her to sit this one out or some other nonsense about resting, she ignored him by asking, "How long will it take to concoct an aerosol version of this toxin? And can we test it?"

"Max wait," Logan attempted to stop her. "I can't let you have it. Not without promising me something first."

"What?" she asked incredulously.

"I want you to promise me that once Alec's back, and once you're well enough, you'll leave Terminal City and come back to Canada with me."

"What?"

"I want your word that you'll give up Terminal City."

"Logan, that's ridiculous!" she spat.

"I mean it Max. If I …… had more time …… time to make you understand, I would have done this so differently."

"You want me to 'deal' for Alec's life?" she asked in disbelief while tearign herself out of his grip. "What makes you think I would agree to such a thing?"

"Because I know you feel responsible for Alec's capture. And I know you'll do anything to get him back. And I know that you wouldn't go back on your word. That's all I'm asking, Max; for your word. I was right to worry about you. It's too dangerous here. You're in danger here. You've got to see that I have your best interests at heart. I want to protect you, Max. I want to keep you safe. I lost you once. When I arrived in Terminal City, seeing you lying there in the infirmary, I thought I had lost you again. I can't do this anymore. I've never stopped loving you. If anything happened to you…… well, let's just say I couldn't go on living. What I'm asking is reasonable. Hell, it's sensible. Just give me your word, I'll give you the neuro toxin and Alec will have a chance."

"You're blackmailing me?"

"It's not blackmail," he told her. "It's love."

Max stood there, wishing she had more strength, both emotional and physical. She couldn't believe what he had asked her. He heart beat furiously in her chest and her vision began to swim slightly. Feeling helpless, she told him "Logan, I don't think you understand. I could never abandon Terminal City."

"Maybe," he admitted. "But can you abandon Alec?" he asked her.

TBC

Author's Note:

Okay don't read too much into the whole 'toxin' concept. It doesn't really matter how it works on familiars or how Logan got it. It was a means to an end.It was used solely to put Max in a difficult position.

Okay so I have posted three chapters (one of which was for my other story Storm Brewing DA MA all the way) in 3 weeks. Am I forgiven for such a long hiatus? Will you please feed me reviews now? Pretty pretty


	18. End of the road

Today 'They' Won the Battle

Part 18

By Rhasa

Disclaimer: Not mine Belong to Eglee and Cameron. No money being made. No infringement intended.

Rating M - I am changing all ratings to M

Alec allowed himself to feel hopeful when he saw Mary enter his room. In the second or two it took for him to recognise her, a dozen scenarios played through his confused mind supplying potential reasons for her presence; the most appealing being that his fellow X5 was there to rescue him and that she had brought reinforcements. For a moment he allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief. He knew despite the danger, despite the obvious risk, that Mole and Max wouldn't let him down. He knew that they would find some way to overpower White and get him out of there.

Alec had allowed himself to feel hopeful, for those first few seconds, which subsequently he realised was a mistake, as instead of bursting further into the room and rushing to assess his condition, Mary continued to hover in the doorway, looking as if she had all the time in the world.

Having always been a relatively quickly study of people, his current situation notwithstanding, Alec swallowed and said, "I'm guessing no cavalry? No getting' me out of here?"

"No," she replied, as she stepped further into the room and closed the door behind her.

Alec's head dropped back down to the concrete beneath him. "Don't tell me they got you too. How many more?" He had prayed that no one would get caught on the account of him.

"If you mean are there other transgenics here, then, there's only us."

A sigh escaped from Alec's lips, which was then followed by a hacking cough that caused so much pain that he saw stars. After the worst of the fit had subsided, he sighed. "Well, that's a relief," he said through clenched teeth before spitting blood. Quite frankly if Mary had been heading up a rescue team he doubted he would have had the strength to move to get out of there at the moment.

'They hurt you bad, didn't they?" she asked, as she walked behind him.

"Yeah, a little, I guess," he said in his usual nonchalant manner.

Alec looked up and saw her watching him from above. There was something about the way she was just standing there, looking down at him, that was unsettling. It made him feel like a bug under a microscope – the sensation causing a shiver to run down his spine. He admitted that he had never really known his ex-breeding partner all that well, but for the few encounters they had shared in the past, she had never really freaked him out like she was doing right now.

She continued to stare at him. "But they didn't kill you," she stated as she moved away from his head and started circling him slowly.

"No. Not yet," Alec winced as he tried moved his head to track her movements so as to get a better look at her. "I guess they're saving that for the after dinner show." Alec knew it was stupid to think differently – if he had been a betting man he would have guessed that his chances of White not killing him were about a thousand to one.

Mary continued to stare at the broken X5 in silence.

Alarm bells were now ringing in Alec's head. He knew it wasn't just the concussion he had probably sustained that was making him confused about just what was going on. Something wasn't right – and in a major way. He tried to form coherent thoughts about the reasons why Mary was here. At first he had thought that she too had been captured, but her demeanor did not reveal any obvious distress. She had walked through that door as if she had owned the place, and now it didn't exactly seem as if she was in any particular hurry. Suddenly Alec felt as in as much danger as if White himself was standing before him. "So, I guess whatever it is you're planning, we'd better get a move on because I think they're up to about the second course by now," he told her, keeping the tone light.

Still, Mary said nothing.

Her silence made him even more nervous, but he decided to take it for confusion and clarified. "I don't think it will be long to they come and kill me, so if you've got a plan on how to get out here then we'd better get on to it."

Mary said nothing.

"Not quite the response I was looking for," Alec murmured after a while.

And then, finally, Mary whispered, "I do have a plan."

Alec's heart sped up at her words – not in hope, but in fear. "Then let's hear it," he prompted nervously.

"I plan to kill you myself."

Alec didn't miss a beat. "Damn. I hate it when I'm right," he muttered to himself, then with some effort, turned to her. "Look, if this is about that whole child payment thing, I swear if I had known the kid was mine the cheque would have been in the mail."

Mary cocked her head to the side trying hard to figure something out. "Tell me something, do you find it an asset that Manticore gave you such a jovial personality?"

Jovial? What the hell was she on about? Alec wondered. Overcome with a new wave of tiredness, he rested his head back down once more and closed his eyes. "I guess I was designed to have a charisma that I could use to hopefully get me out of situations like this one."

"Strange," she replied, more to herself than to him. "I never saw the point of the common verbal usage and conversational classes."

"If I'm remembering correctly, you weren't much of a talker back at Manticore."

"I didn't see the need. I was trained for covert ops - not much of an opportunity to get into conversations with anyone. My mission usually surmounted to, get in, usually in darkness, claim the target and get out. Preferred method: garrote."

Alec looked up at her. "'Should I be glad that I don't see one of those around here? Or have you got some deep pockets that I don't know about."

"Don't worry, I promise it will be painless. Which is more than you'll get if White gets his hands on you."

Alec's brow wrinkled. "Is that why you're here? Killing me is in some weird way to save me from what White has in store for me?" Mary said nothing, so Alec continued. "I know we were taught to never leave a man behind in enemy hands if we could help it, but I gotta tell you, I'd rather we exhaust all other options first."

"You think there are other options?"

Alec twisted his body around so he could face her better. Ignoring the pain and discomfort his movements caused him, he pinned her with a glare and told her, "There are always other options."

Mary shook her head. "Not this time. This is the only way," she said as she knelt down next to him.

Alec looked into her eyes and was somewhat surprised of what he saw there. He'd half expected to see a coldness or an emptiness there. As both Max and he knew well, not all X5s were perfect. A significant proportion had certain flaws in their psychology that virtually turned them into anything from harmless nutters and hence useless soldiers, right through to dangerous sociopaths and true menaces to society. He, himself, had been on the receiving end of experiments to determine whether those flaws were due to nature or nurture. Alec tried hard to suppress the memories of his time in psyops were scientists had tried in vain to discover if his own identical twin had gone off the deep end as a result of a chromosomal abnormality or merely as the result of his upbringing. Alec had half expected to see a coldness in Mary's eyes that would explain that she too was suffering from some delusions, but instead all he saw was determination – she was determined to kill him, of that he was certain. May as well join the club. "If it's all the same to you, I think I'd rather take my chances with White. I don't want you to spare me from him pain. I don't want you to make this easy for him-"

Mary frowned. "You think that I'm doing this as some kind of noble gesture to save you from the pain you'd feel at the hands of White? That's not why I'm doing this."

Alec was confused. Wasn't she here to put him out of his misery? If not, what else was going on? "Then you got to tell me. You got to at least tell me why."

"It's the only way," she repeated again.

"Yeah, I got that part already," he said clearly annoyed. "But the only way to what?"

"The only way to right a wrong!" She yelled.

"A wrong what? What 'wrong' are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about 'us'."

"You mean 'you' and 'me' us?"

"No! Us. X5s. Transgenics. Manticore. All of us. We were never meant to be."

Alec stared in disbelief. Mary thought that transgencis were abnormalities. Well, he couldn't argue with that. But he felt that there was more to it than that. All he could say was, "I don't understand," in the hope that she would tell him more, and in the hope that he could buy himself some more time.

"That's the problem – you never understood. She never understood."

"She?"

"Max. Your so called leader. She never understood what it was like for us – the ones who were left behind. I knew that as soon as I came to Terminal City. It wasn't at all like Manticore."

"That was the whole idea."

"Why do you assume that all X5s or transgenics would feel the same way as you do?"

Alec was quick to answer "I don't!"

"Yes you do. All of those in command at Terminal City did. I went there because I thought it was a chance to start over-"

"It was – I mean it is-"

"No it wasn't. It wasn't at all like – home."

"Like Manticore?"

"Yes. You took away my home when you burned it to the ground."

Did she really believe that? Alec had thought that after all the time had passed since the destruction of Manticore that everyone knew it was Renfro and those in charge who had given the order to torch the place.

"Mary, Manticore wasn't home. They were using you – you weren't free-"

"My designation is X5– 1968572; and it may not have been home to you, but it was home to me. I was born a soldier and I will die a soldier."

"Listen I used to think the way you do, but I found out the truth-"

"The truth? The truth is there is no place for us in the real world now. You and your friends saw to that! At least at Manticore we knew where we stood. They accepted us for what we were. We served a purpose. And if we did what was expected of us then we were valued. There was humor in being a soldier, in serving Manticore. Tell me, where is that honour now? The ordinaries want to kill us. You think Manticore was some kind of prison? Well, Terminal City is worse. You took away the only place where we belonged. We are not meant for this world – for a world without Manticore."

Alec couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. A sudden understanding dawned on him – one that literally made his blood run cold. "You told White about the tunnels didn't you?"

"Yes."

"You're with them – White's cultists – now, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Why?" he asked.

"My alliance with the cultists is a means to an end."

Alec shook his head sadly.

"Don't worry. I have plans for them too," she told him somewhat proudly. "They think I have turned. In fact, they think I'm insane, some problems with my genetics, experiencing some psychosis that has made me turn against my own kind. I know they'll only keep me alive long enough to see them get White's son back and to destroy all those in Terminal City, but they don't know that I have a way of destroying them all as well. Then everything will be right again."

"Mary, there are other ways. You say there is no place for us, no place for you, in the world anymore. But we can make a place. We have the freedom to choose a place for ourselves now. We can choose something other than being a soldier if we want. We can choose to have a family. You had Jed-"

"Some of us don't want those types of families."

"If I had known, I would have helped you. You wouldn't have had to raise him on your own."

"If your fearless leader hadn't burnt down Manticore, I would not have had to raise him at all. They would have taken the fertilised embryo for implantation into a surrogate. They couldn't afford to keep us out of the field for the amount of time it would have taken to go to full term."

"You would've happily given up your child?" Alec asked.

"Oh please, I never saw his conception as creating a child, and judging from your reaction to when I first showed him to you, neither did you."

"That doesn't change the fact that we 'did' create a child together."

"If that's the way you want to look at it."

"How else would you look at it?"

"I gave birth in the dark, in a dirty, rat-infested alley, on my own. I had no idea what was happening. It's not like our sex ed classes ever covered the topic. To use an old expression, having a child was never something I 'signed up for'. I never wanted it. I wasn't prepared. I lost a lot of blood during the delivery due to some complications. It left me weak. Too weak to move. As a soldier, I had never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. For the first three days after, I survived by eating those rats, drinking the filthy water that ran through the gutters, while nursing him only to save myself from having to listen to his cries. Can't say that I ever experienced the joy of 'motherhood' that the ordinaries so often boast about. The truth is the last thing on my mind when you entered my room on those nights so long ago was a baby. You look at me as if I was a monster for abandoning him, and yet I doubt you judge yourself. As I recall you were a rather 'willing' participant for the breeding program. For you to sit there and judge me and my motives – well, you should take a look at yourself, a look at your role in all this. Did you ever consider the so-called children you were creating as part of the program? What their lives would be like? If they would survive. If they would be healthy or suffer from genetic abnormalities? Did you ever stop to wonder if they would be experimented on? If they would have to endure the same tests and procedures that we had to endure as children?"

"No. I guess I didn't think about being a father. But it's different for guys - that seems to be one of the things I've learnt since I've lived outside of Manticore."

"And just who fed you that line of B.S? I hate to burst your little bubble but not all females are cut out to be mothers."

"I guess not."

"I don't expect you to truly understand my reasons for doing what I'm about to do. They've brainwashed you."

"It's called free will."

"You talk about freedom, and you talk about choice. Well, I'll give you a choice. Broken neck or strangulation? I can place just enough pressure on your windpipe to make you gradually lose consciousness. It'll be like falling asleep."

"Any chance of taking door number three?"

"It's the only way. The transgenics, cultists and the Familiars must be destroyed."

"Then why don't you let us fight it out amongst ourselves then, huh?"

"Goodbye, X5-494," she said as she placed hooked his neck in the crook of her right elbow, placed her left palm on his right cheek, and began to steadily tighten her grip.

"No," he spluttered as he closed his eyes tights and tried to suck in deep breathes of air. "Not like this." He brought his hands up to grasp on to her right forearm, but knew straight away that he didn't have the strength to loosen her grip. By reflex his legs kicked out from underneath him, trying to gain some leverage to lift his body off the ground, but his broken body failed to afford him any concessions, and he continued to struggle against her hold on him as colours began to flash before his eyes.

A pounding flooded his ears, and he thought he heard a sharp snap of what must have been a vertebrae breaking before a darkness began to sweep over him. In the millisecond it took for a new warmth to spread throughout his body he sensed his approaching death. "Not like this," he thought to himself again. He opened his eyes and looked up into the orbs that were staring down at him. His last thought as he began to drown in their depths, was that they were of the same rich colour of the one and only woman he would ever truly love.

To be continued………

Author's Notes:

Okay – Mary does not equal nutter. I mean there is nothing all that wrong with her. Okay she didn't/doesn't want to be a mom – I can certainly relate to that sometimes especially when I am trying to finish writing a chapter and my kids won't let me go literally two minutes on the computer without A) demanding a drink – that they can get perfectly themselves; B) dobbing on each other for some travisty of justice – such as sticking their tongue out or swearing (saying the word 'damn') or C) torturing our dogs just for the sake of it sigh (Note: I wouldn't give my kids up for anything!). Anyway, who is to say that what Mary belives i.e. everything Manticore is wrong and what the others believe i.e. freedom is right? What may be 'freeing' for one person, is not necessarily the same for the others. I can't quite believe that everyone was thrilled when Manticore was burnt down and they no longer had a home – I mean Ben taught us that. That's what I was hoping to capture with Mary.

On another note I have actually finished three more chapters after this – no joke – actually finished them and will be posting really shortly. So I'd really, really, really enjoy a review. Even if you want to tell me my Mary sucked. That's okay.

As to what happens to Alec – well you'll just have to read on to find out. I think a few of you will definitely be surprised.


	19. A new beginning?

**Today 'They' Won the Battle**

**By Rhasa**

**Part 19**

Max didn't care who saw her cry. She didn't care if the tears rolling down her cheeks were considered a sign of weakness by those before her. Despite originally telling herself that his life should be celebrated, today was a day for grief, a chance to openly reflect on loss, an acknowledgement of despair; she was damned if she would take Logan's advice and try and stay strong in front of the troops for appearances sake. What did Logan know about loss – real loss – anyway?

It was a beautiful day. Something she soon learned that people commented on on the awkward occasion of saying goodbye to a friend or a loved one. She stood proudly before the large gathering. At the beginning of the service, she had thought that nearly all of Terminal City's inhabitants had turned out to pay their respects. As she paused half way through, allowing each of the mourners a minute of silence to pray or remember, she glanced around at the solemn faces, and realised that not one of Terminal City's inhabitants was absent from the crowd – even those that had been admitted to the infirmary were there supported by Kyra and other medical personnel. Their presence made her heavy heart swell with pride.

She wasn't sure exactly what words she had spoken. She hadn't prepared anything in advance – it would have proven too painful to do so – she doubted she would have been able to go through with the euology if she had been forced to ponder his life, or at least, the relatively short time she had known him. She knew she said nothing of his life at Manticore, instead concentrating on who he had become in his new life, his free life. There was no mention of duty or honour or valour or courage, but instead of family, commitment, love, humour and most of all freedom.

At the end, she wondered if she had done him proud – if she had truly honoured him. As the mourners passed by her, muttering words of feint praise and gratitude for her efforts, Logan caught her eye and saw the self doubt that lingered there.

"Don't doubt yourself, Max," he told her. "I've been to enough of these things to know that days like this are not really for those who have departed but for those who have been left behind. They," he said indicating the crowd, "Are satisfied."

Max felt a stab of pain right in her heart. And before she could scream at him at how wrong he was, how cold he seemed, she turned on her heel and fled.

He found her about an hour later, alone, in the setting sun, in her usual spot on the highest rooftop in Terminal City. He had wanted to go after her after the service had finished, but seeing how upset she was felt best to leave her alone for a while. She seemed to prefer that lately. Being alone. Away from him.

Turth be told, at first, he was a little resentful. He had thought that things would have been different on his return to Terminal City. He thought it would have been different when she had recovered from her injuries; that once she was truly on the road to healing they would have an opportunity to talk; to work things through – but still, she kept her distance. After that, he justified the way she seemed to avoid him, by putting it down to the grief she was feeling. It was only natural – she had lost someone she had loved. She was taking it hard and he suspected that she would never really get over it. He had hoped that she would turn to him in her grief, that they could mourn together. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be all right, but she worked hard at never allowing herself to be alone with him and so all chances were lost.

His heart ached when he saw her on the rooftop. He felt a pang of guilt for the way he had been acting lately. She had been crying again no doubt from the words she had exchange with Logan right after the service and he wondered whether she needed even more time yet. But he was done with giving her space. He knew a thing or two about grief and he knew that there came a point in time when it was no longer healthy to keep it to yourself, that it was best to share the pain so as to start the healing. This time he wouldn't back down, step aside or give her space; this time she'd have to talk to him – whether she thought she was ready to or not.

"It was a nice service," he said softly as he approached.

Max cringed slightly at his words. She was both glad and worried that Alec had found her. She knew she couldn't run from him forever, but she wasn't sure if she was strong enough yet to handle being alone with him. She didn't know if she could trust herself enough from revealing what she truly felt.

"Quite a crowd," she added as he took up a position half a foot away from her. She couldn't help but notice him wince slightly when he sat down and wondered to herself just how much longer it would take for the injuries he sustained while in White's captivity to heal. "I guess Joshua really made an impression on all of them."

Alec let out a soft chuckle. "What was not to like? In some ways he was the most courageous and optimistic of us all," he said.

"He also took care of the anomolies. Most of the transhumans would be dead if it wasn't for him sneaking food to them in the basement at Manticore. They respect the risks he took to in order for them to survive."

Alec, nodded in agreement. "Well, from the turn out today, a lot of people were grateful. Especially me."

Max said nothing for a while. She knew how Alec felt. Joshua had died protecting Jed. Nothing could make up for that. In the nights before, when she was alone, Max would lament the futility of it all. Was their fight for freedom worth it? Was it worth the price of Joshua's life? But then she came to the realisation that while Joshua had sacrificed himself it was for something he believed in that was secondary to freedom.

"He didn't deserve such a death; him moreso than others. He wasn't a soldier," Max said softly.

"He died like one," Alec whispered. "He died with courage. He never stopped fighting."

"But he didn't die for Manticore," she said adamently. "He died for his family. Family meant everything to him. Jed. Isaac. You. Me. He died protecting that. For some of us, family means more than freedom."

"No, Max," Alec turned to look at her directly. "For some of us, family 'is' freedom."

Max's eyes locked directly with his. She couldn't escape the sadness that she found there. She knew that keeping her distance from him had hurt him. She had also heard from Mole that Alec had taken Joshua's death hard. The news of Joshua's death was broken to him while he was in the infirmary. The combination of grief, horrendous injuries and post-traumatic shock so great that Kyra had had to keep him sedated for three whole days. Max has spent those first three days by his side, while Logan looked on, silently begging him to come back to her, but immediately feeling something akin to guilt for doing so. Afterall, she had more or less promised herself to another man.

"It hurts too much, Alec," she whispered.

"I know," he acknowledged, while longing to put his arm around her to ease some of the pain. He had shed his own private tears over the lovable dogman, and if he was honest with himself, he knew that he wasn't done shedding a few more yet.

"No. You don't know," she told him.

She had more than once wondered if she should tell him about the deal she had made with Logan. She had tried to delay the inevitable as much as she could. Joshua's memorial service was supposed to be the last thing she would need to do before they prepared to leave Terminal City and return to Canada; and it was obvious that Logan was growing impatient. Why it had only been a few hours before the service since Logan had asked how 'preparations' as he euphemistically called their impending depature, were coming along. Would it hurt Alec less if he knew the real reason why she had been pushing him away? Maybe a half-truth was better than no truth at all.

"It hurts too much to be around you," she told him. "I loved Joshua, more than anyone will ever be able to understand. But the pain I feel for him, I know will be ten times worse if anything ever happens to you."

Alec couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was just what he had hoped for – a chance to clear the air between them; a chance to pave the way to move forward. If Joshua's death had taught him anything it was if you care for someone – if you love someone, like Joshua loved Annie – you should at least tell them; chance it; risk laying it all on the line. Afterall life was just too short to let words go unsaid.

"I don't think I could stand if something else were to happen to you," Max added. "I don't think that I could even survive-"

Alec put his arm around her and drew her to his shoulder, relishing the warmth that quickly rose between their bodies. "Max, nothing will happen to me. I'm safe now-"

Max angrily pushed off him. "You can't say that! No one can make promises like that, Alec! Look at what you've just gone through. If Logan hadn't have found a way to kill the cultists, if Mole hadn't have shot Mary just in time as you were literally taking your last breath, you'd be dead Alec! Do you understand how close it was?" she cried. "White survived our attack. He's still out there, Alec. He could come again. He could get you again. I couldn't live through that. I don't want to."

Watching a tear slip down Max's cheek, Alec's heart broke. Her words were a balm to his raw soul. He used his thumb to sweetly swipe it away, and told her "You're scared, afraid. I understand exactly what that's like. After Rachel died, I never wanted to be close to anyone ever again. Like you said it hurt too much. And maybe it is safer, but shutting out those people in your life you care about the most to save yourself from the possibility of a little pain is no way to live. I know. I've been there."

"I can't do this," she whispered.

"You won't be alone, Max," he tried to reassure her, as he leant over to embrace her.

But she pushed herself away from him. "No. You don't understand. I really can't do this."

Alec stood before her, knowing that it was now or never. He had to make her understand, he had to be strong for both of them. "Max, I love you. And I want to say the right thing to reassure you but I'm not even sure of what that is. All I know is that family was so important to Joshua that he died for it. And family is important to me too, maybe not once upon a time, but definitely now, after all that we've been through. After surviving at the hands of White, and Jed and I being rescued. It's like a second chance. I want to build a family with you, Max. What I want to have between us, is worth the risk."

Max felt physically ill. Her head was swimming. How could this be happening? How could this man be standing before her speaking the words that she had secretly been longing to hear, not knowing that there was no way she could possibly give him what he wants? He had no way of knowing how much his declaration was tearing her apart. He loved her, and secretly that was all she wanted. On Alec's return after being rescued, she had thought many times about going to Logan and begging her way out of their deal. On one occasion she discussed it with him, but somehow he had convinced her that if she wasn't prepared to return with him to Canada for her own safety, she should consider the safety of those who were being left behind. It was better this way – for all concerned, he had told her.

Now as Alec was pouring his soul out to her she realised, maybe there was some truth in Logan's words.

Alec wouldn't never understand, of that she was sure. But what she did, she did for him nonetheless. "Maybe it's worth the risk to you, Alec," she told him. "But it's not worth the risk to me."

"Max, don't-" he began before she cut him off.

"I won't risk losing you by loving you," she said, as the tears fell in earnest and she walked away.

**Yes, to be continued……..**

**Author's Note: **

Okay, so if you're confused – good. You were supposed to think that it was Alec dead at the beginning of this chapter, but of course now you know he wasn't. I know Max comes off as being all confused about her reasons why she shouldn't let herself love/be with Alec – that was intentional. Also, I really didn't want to get bogged down in the details of Alec's rescue, because when I did write it , it was boring and it detracted from what I really wanted to write about. Just know that when Mary was in the room with Alec, the transgenics had begun releasing the neuro toxin provided by Logan (which is kind of why no one busted in on Mary – despite her working with the bad guys). The toxin actually did kill some cultists and familiars, but somehow White escaped. The neuro toxin did not have an affect on Mary and Mole ended up shooting her when he burst through the door during the rescue. Jed was saved and everyone returned to TC. Of course, Alec was out to all this.

As to Max's true feelings all will become clearer next time. So please review, it really makes my day and in nine times out of ten makes reviews make me write faster.


	20. Truths Told

**Today 'They' Won the Battle**

**By Rhasa**

**Part 20**

**Truths Told**

Alec sure didn't feel like any company at this particular point in time – except for the welcomed companionship that the half-emptied bottle of scotch that was standing before him gave him; and so it was better than good that TC's bar was empty. He guessed that no one felt much like drinking following the service for Joshua; perhaps they were waiting out of a sense of respect or decency or whatever. Whatever the reason for the unexpected absence of anyone he doubted that he would have the place all to himself for long. Perhaps he should have taken the bottle back to his room, but walking half a click to the grotty apartment on the eastern side of Terminal City that he called 'home' (a term he used loosely) would have taken a little more effort than he thought he was capable of at the moment.

Besides, there was a minor point that some of his best thinking was done while walking, something about the staccato of his booths on the pavement providing some clarity to the everyday chaos of his mind, and the last thing he wanted to do right now was think – to think about his life, the universe and everything Max. Best to stay still, with the bottle, alone – safer that way.

"You getting a jump on the rest of us?"

Alec winced at the words – so much for solitude. He thought about telling Mole to shove off somewhere, but since when did his lizard friend ever listen to him?

"I'm not much in the mood for company right now, Mole."

"It's a free country," Mole said as he moved to take up a seat next to his downtrodden friend.

Alec gave him a sharp look.

"Okay, scratch that," Mole said in agreement to Alec's questioning look. "But it is a free bar."

Mole grabbed the bottle of scotch that sat before Alec, reached across the wooden surface, and procured himself a fresh glass. "Nice memorial service," he said by way of making small talk.

"Yeah," Alec replied simply.

Mole filled the shot glass, threw his head back, and downed the golden liquid in less than a second. "Sure miss the big guy," he admitted.

"By today's turn out, you're not the only one."

Mole nodded solemnly at Alec's words. "I was surprised by Max. She kept it together a lot better than I thought she would. Some of us appreciated that."

"Max has always been good at keeping her emotions in check," Alec told him bitterly.

"I mean, she had a tear or two in her eye, but who didn't? You know?"

"Yeah," Alec said despondently.

Mole was never one to be comfortable with a quiet Alec, looked over at his friend. Whatever it was that had his friend down was sure doing a number on him. "You thinking about Joshua?" he asked, trying to probe.

"No. I should be."

"Then I guess it's safe to assume you current woes have something to do with out lady boss."

"Gee, does it show?"

"I guess she told you then," Mole said matter-of-factly.

"Told me what?"

"I heard from Gem she's already packing. You're not letting her go through with it are you?" A gruff voice asked Alec.

"What are you talking about?" Alec asked as he sat a little safer in his chair.

"The deal she made with Logan," Mole told him.

When Alec continued to stare at him with a blank confused look on his face, a thought occurred to Mole. Alec didn't know. Shit. Why'd he have to be the bearer of bad news all the time? "I thought you knew. I saw you take off after her after Josh's service. I thought you went to have it out with her."

Alec's heart skipped a beat. God he hated to be kept in the dark. The sheer mention of a 'deal' and 'Logan" made his blood run cold. "I have no idea of what you're talking about, but I swear Mole if you don't help me understand right now there will be bloodshed."

"Okay, okay. I'm just saying I thought you knew, that's all," he said as he reached for a glass of his own.

"Mole-"

Sighing, Mole put down the glass before he had a chance to fill it and turned to his friend. "Look, you know when we parted at the wharf, right before it all our fun plans went belly up and White got his hands on those crown jewels of yours-"

"Move it along Mole," Alec said, his impatience clear.

"You asked me to give Max a message in the event that you didn't make it back. Well, after my return to TC and a debriefing, Logan told us about the possibility of using the toxin he had on him. I left the command centre to check on whether we had someone here who could make the stuff into an aerosol. I left Max and Logan alone, when I remembered the message you made me promise to give to her. I went back to tell her, well, you know…. Only I heard them talking and I didn't go in. Logan was threatening not to give her the toxin unless she promised to return to Canada with him."

"You mean-"

"I mean," the reptilian said nonchalantly as he began to refill his glass. "The scum sucking ordinary was making her deal for your life."

Alec took the steps to Max's apartment two at a time, not because, as Mole had said there was no time to waste, seeing that she was already packing, but because he was furious. If it hadn't have been for the amphibian's insistence that it would be better to talk to Max first, before storming off to do Logan some serious damage, Alec may well have had blood on his hands by now.

He didn't bother to knock, but instead took a deep breath before walking into her room, grateful for once that no one locked their doors in Terminal City. He stopped dead just two steps inside as he saw the duffle she had on the bed, spread wide open and surrounded by small piles of clothes. Max stood before the offending piece of luggage with a pair of shoes in her hand.

"Is it true?" he asked a redundant question.

"Alec-" Max began before he took two more steps towards her and cut her off.

"That you're leaving? Is it true?"

Max dropped her eyes in an attempt to avoid his accusing glare. "Please, I-"

"Is it true that you're abandoning Terminal City?" he asked a little louder.

"It's not like-"

"IS IT TRUE?" he yelled.

"Alec, please, don't do this," she said as she went back to packing her bag.

His hand grabbed her wrist as she lifted another shirt off the bed. "No. I won't let you leave," he told her.

"You can't-" she began, before he tightened his grip, causing her to wince.

"I won't let you leave with Logan," he said through gritted teeth, his anger clearly evident.

"I owe him, Alec," she replied softly. "I owe him for your life."

He words made him release his grip. "I don't care. It's not a fair deal, Max. I can't believe you made it."

"I had to," she cried not bothering to ask about how he had come to learn about her and Logan's 'arrangement'.

"No. You didn't. You could have made him give the toxin to you, Max. You didn't have to sell your soul."

She looked up at him, trying to make him if not understand then at least forgive. "Alec, I was weak. I didn't have the strength. You've got to believe that. If there had been another way I would have taken it, but we were running out of time. I needed to get you and Jed out of there."

"I understand that. But you don't have to leave with him now."

"I promised," she said as a tear began to fall.

"Then break your damn promise!" he yelled raising his fist and punching the wall.

"I can't," she cried.

He swung back to face her. "You can't? Or you won't?"

"Alec, please…..I don't want to leave this way-"

He came to stand directly in front of her and placed both hands on her shoulders. "Then don't. It's that simple. Stay. Here with us. Here with me."

Max brought a hand up to wipe the tears from her eyes so she could see him better. She had never wanted to hurt him. "I can't. I'm poison. I destroy everyone around me. Zack, Logan, Jed…… Joshua…. You. I can't keep you safe, Alec. I can't keep Jed safe. As long as I am here in Terminal City I'm a target. Everyone ends up getting caught in the crossfire."

"This was not about you, Max," he told her. "It was about Ray, White's son."

"Alec, White's still out there. He'll come back for me, whether to get his son or for some other reason, it doesn't matter. My being here is dangerous for everyone. You think it's just my promise to Logan that's the reason for me doing this? It's not. If I leave, you and the rest in Terminal City might just have a fighting chance."

Alec let his hands drop from her shoulders and straightened up. "You don't really believe that do you?" he asked. "Or is this some excuse you've concocted to justify leaving with Logan."

"I don't need to justify the truth of the situation," she replied.

"The 'truth' of the situation is that I love you and I need you. But apart from that your people need you. These freaks, these anomalies, these 'mistakes', these outcasts, they would die for you, Max. Do you know that? You are their leader now. They're strong but they're only strong 'because' of you. Think; just think for a moment what will happen if you abandon them, if you give up on them, if you leave them all alone."

"I wouldn't be leaving them all alone; I'd be leaving them with you, Alec."

"And what makes you think I'd stay once you're gone," he spat back at her.

"Because I know the real you," she told him honestly. "I know what've you become since you left Manticore, since you joined me here in this fight. I know that no matter how much you were an egotistical loner in the past, only looking out for yourself, you're not that person anymore, and that everyone here in Terminal City is family to you now and you won't leave them."

"Just like _you're_ leaving them?" he said bitterly.

Max lowered her head. "It's better off this way."

Alec shook his head. "No," he said. "I don't believe that's what you really feel. I don't believe you think that Terminal City is better off without you or that you owe a debt to Logan. I think there's something else. Something else that you're not telling me."

"There isn't-"

"Are you still in love with him?"

"What?"

"Just yesterday I told you that I loved you, but you've never actually said the words back. Which leaves me to question. Are you in love with Logan?"

Max stood and stared at him. She hadn't thought that Alec would really question her on that. After all that they had been through together and after yesterday in particular…… How could he not know how she felt?

Her mind flashed back to their early days. Months after his 'liberation' from Manticore and 'insinuation' into her life, when he had asked her about her relationship with Logan, or more directly, her feelings for the older man; she told him it was none of his business. And back then, that had been truth. But now there was a different truth. A truth that she had vowed she would tell, if and when, Alec returned to her from his capture by White.

She stared at the man before her feeling very much at a crossroad.

She did what she did to save him, but she also knew he wouldn't understand. Despite all outward appearances and the bravado he openly displayed, deep down he didn't think that much of himself. He kept his lack of self-esteem a secret. But she knew him better than he thought. He would never agree that his life was worth the price she was about to pay. She had pretty much chosen his life over Terminal City. He wouldn't accept that. And now she was beginning to feel that he wouldn't let go. She didn't want to hurt him, but she knew she must, in order to save him.

"Max," he asked again. "Are you still in love with Logan?

Her eyes searched his. "Yes," she whispered softly, as a tear ran down her cheek.

Not waiting another second, he reached out, and pulled her to him. Wrapping one arm around her waist, securing her small frame against his larger one, he tangled a fist into her hair, and crushed his mouth to hers.

Max's half-hearted effort to escape from his arms quickly gave way to pulling him desperately nearer. Feeling his lips on hers, his breath, she couldn't help but respond. Her damn traitor body betrayed her resolve to drive him away, as she opened her mouth and began to drown in his depths.

After minutes of feeding off of her, Alec pulled back and seeing an all consuming desire on her face that was reflected in her eyes, said the one word that would be her undoing.

"Liar."

**To be continued……**

Author's Note:

sigh

Please, please, please submit a review.

Til next time Sarah


	21. Another day

**Today 'They' Won the Battle**

**by Rhasa**

**Part 21**

**Another day**

It was quiet, and still – a little too quiet and a little too still for Max's liking. Looking up, past through the chintz curtains that adorned the window, to the sky outside, she noticed the sun shining cheerfully and almost scorned it for doing so. It was going to be another beautiful clear day – at least weather wise.

As per her usual morning routine, she stood next to the bed piling folded clean laundry into her duffle bag. She should really place them in the nearby dresser – after all, as Logan had said on more than one occasion, it had been over three months now; time to finally stop living out of a suitcase. Max stopped just before she was about to pack a pair of black hipsters into the bag; glanced at the drawers to her left for a moment, then returned to defiantly shove them as hard as she could into the very bottom of the bag. If she had shoved them any harder she could have well put her hand right through the canvas bottom. Despite all that had happened in the last few months there were some things that she just wasn't ready to face – wasn't ready to concede, the chest of drawers was just one of those things.

She was closing the bag, tugging a little too hard on the zipper, when she heard the tires on the gravel. Looking up she saw Logan's beloved and seemingly indestrucatble car ambling up the uneven driveway. Max sighed. She had hoped that she would have a little more time to herself this morning. But like clockwork, he had returned when he had told her he would. She didn't like to give too much thought to the fact that he was never away for too long and what that might mean. She didn't like to give too much thought to anything much these days – over thinking things just brought her more heartache and pain.

Quashing her frustration and the ever-present anger that seemed to bubble just below the surface, she came out to meet him, just as she normally did, expecting as usual to lend a hand unloading the supplies. She was surprised when he reached into the boot of the car to retrieve a huge bouquet of flowers. Their colour and perfume were completely overwhelming and assaulted her senses. Completely stunned for a moment, she couldn't help but smile – the act so … out of character … When he returned the smile, she secretly hated him and then herself for it. She knew he was just trying to be sweet.

"What's the occasion?" she asked, as she handled the bundle awkwardly.

"Do I need one?" he asked her.

She shrugged.

He sensed her unease, and reached to take back the bouquet. "I thought we'd have a special dinner tonight."

"Special?" she asked as she crossed her arms defensively over her chest, her body language not lost on the older man before her.

"Okay, well not really all that special, but at least not the canned stuff we've been living on the last few weeks. I got lucky in town," he said a little proudly. "Fresh produce, vegetables, baked bread and salted moose meat. I thought I might whip up one of my culinary miracles since we haven't had one of those in a while."

Max nodded slightly, secretly thinking that it would be nice to have fresh food, but something inside of her was determined to not let him know this.

Logan watched her closely for a moment or two. Max felt uncomfortable under his persistent gaze and she sensed that her reaction wasn't exactly what he had hoped for. "Even managed to score a bottle of pre-pulse Sparkling Burgundy," he added. "Might make it seem like old times," he told her sadly.

_Old times._ She shuffled her feet, and chewed on her lip nervously. The last thing she wanted to do was to think about old times. The phrase rang over in her head, making her stomach churn.

Sensing her mannerisms were an indication that she wasn't yet ready to go there, and not to push, Logan sighed once again, bowed his head and nodded towards the flowers. "Well, I better go put these in water."

"I'll bring the rest of the things in," she told him quickly as she turned towards the boot of the car.

He continued to track her every movement as she piled the load into her arms and moved towards the house. Adjusting the weight of the packages, she stopped abruptly a few inches away from him catching herself just as she was about to brush past.

Logan looked up. "Max, there's no need-" he began to explain for what must have been the hundredth time that she didn't need fear touching him now that the virus was cured, but she cut him off tersely.

"I know," she spat, then seeing the sad frustration in his eyes, added a soft, "I'm sorry," before returning to the house, with tears in her eyes.

The day seemed to drag on forever. Both time as well as Max's movements seemed to have slowed down. She didn't quite know what was wrong with her– well other than the usual. She hadn't really been expecting the depression that seemed to have settle over her the first few days on arriving in Canada with Logan to last as long as it had. Today was a particularly hard day. It had been such an effort to get out of bed in the morning. In fact, it was such an effort just to put one foot in front of the other. Max was so keen for this day to be over that she asked Logan to prepare for an exceptionally early dinner. Surprised that she had taken an interest in what he was trying to do for her, Logan happily agreed, and they found themselves sitting down at sunset to enjoy his cooking.

"Can't remember the last time I had iceberg lettuce. Can you?" Logan asked as he tucked into a small side salad he had prepared.

Max shook her head slightly.

"Mm. These tomatoes are great. I mean, I know I paid a lot for them, but they're definitely worth it. Don't you think?"

Max attempted to take a bite of the food before her, but found 'special' dinner aside, she just wasn't that hungry. She dropped her fork back down to her plate with a clunk.

Logan sighed heavily. Max felt that he was inevitably going to ask what was wrong, just like he had on numerous other occasions when the conversation waned between them. She felt guilty for a moment. She knew he was trying – trying to reach out to her – just as he had been doing ever since they had arrived at his safe haven in Canada. The first few days he talked incessantly about the area in which they were staying, about his efforts to fix up their new home, a bit about the local community and a lot about his plans for their future. He looked so happy during that time – perhaps the happiest she had ever seen him. He wanted her to share in that happiness too, but the harder he tried to get her to be enthusiastic about their new life together, the more she shut him out. He had never seen her so quiet. She had hardly said a word to him in the first two days, so he over compensated for the uncomfortable silence by talking about everything and anything that wasn't Manticore, Terminal City or transgenic related. He took her silence for worry and concern, and maybe as a sign that it had been so long since she had allowed anyone to truly take care of her that she had forgotten how to let someone else in.

"It will get easier, Max," he had promised early on. "I will do everything I can to make it easier on you."

She had wondered exactly 'which' part Logan thought would get easier. The missing her true 'family' part? The worrying about her family part? The getting used to her new 'domestic' life part? The hiding from the world part? The picking up where she and Logan had left off part? Or the losing Alec -- no, she wasn't going to think about that part.

Max had to admit that Logan had tried to make 'things' easy on her. Accutely aware that she was still recovering from near fatal injuries she had sustained in the attack on the tunnels, and that she probably still had psychological and emotional scars that had to heal as well, he did everything humanely possible to make her comfortable in her new home. He let her sleep when she was tired, covered her with a blanket when she was cold, he brought her breakfast and drew baths and did all the necessary domestic chores and house work, all under the pretense that she needed time and space and didn't need to be worrying about the littlestuff.

But Max also found his 'doting' and constant acts of affection annoying. She knew he meant well, but the last thing she needed was time to think about her new life … or time to reflect on her old life … and everything … and everyone … she had left behind. Consciously she had pushed him away at every opportunity to the point where they rarely sat down to a meal together, let alone have a full and complete conversation. She couldn't deny that instead of growing closer with time they were growing increasingly apart – she knew it was all her fault and she didn't care. Now she woke each day with a feeling of dread inside of her – wondering just how long their current situation was going to go on. She rose each morning feeling sick to her stomach, caught between her increasing apathy for this older man who was doing so much to make her happy and her disgust at her own indifference to it all.

"Sparkling burgundy cost a pretty penny too," Logan's words broke into Max's internal musings, triggering a thought.

"Did you manage to get the spare comms link you needed?" she asked with eagerness in her voice. The chance to restore full communications with Terminal City was the only thing that had truly excited her in the past few weeks.

Logan stopped eating, wiped his mouth on a napkin, rose, and went into the kitchen for a moment. "Ah no," he said simply on his return.

Max couldn't help the scowl that flashed across her face. "What happened? I thought you said it was all arranged?"

"My contact sold it," Logan told her as he casually poured himself another glass of wine.

"Sold it?" she pressed.

"To a higher bidder."

Max couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had been pushing for the comms link to be restored for weeks. He had known how important it was to her. And he had lead her to believe that he would come back with the part. "We got out bid? By how much, Logan?"

Logan coughed a bit after taking a deep sip of wine. "Two thousand."

"Only two thousand?" she asked, clearly disappointed.

Placing his glass firmly on the table, Logan got ready for the argument that would surely follow, as it always had before when the subject of communications with Terminal City had come up. "We need money, Max. We need something to live on up here. You made me give half of what we had to Terminal City for supplies-" he stopped himself, knowing that he sounded like a petulant child for the sacrifice that she well suggested but that he also agreed to. "I couldn't justify going any higher on the comms link; not at this time anyway."

"You couldn't justify going higher on bidding for the new comms link, but you have no trouble blowing money on flowers, wine and fresh vegetables?" She mocked his efforts.

"That was different."

"No. Not really, Logan. We need that comms link so we can sort out the interface with the TCs mainframe and establish reliable communications with the command centre," she said in anger.

"Communications with the command centre are working just fine," he said with conviction.

"We get brief reports from our supply runners at best, once a week, if we're lucky. And even then we don't know if what they're reporting is accurate because they're civilians. That's not 'fine' Logan."

"And I guess there's no need for me to bring up, yet again, how much of a bad idea I think establishing a permanent link with base is? After all, you're supposed to be in hiding, Max."

"We've had this argument a thousand times before. There are ways around the link being traced. Or have you forgotten all the skills you learnt as Eyes Only?"

"I haven't forgotten," he replied quietly.

Max's eyes narrowed. "Do you know who the other bidder was?"

"No," he told her, then fixing her with a glare he asked,"Why?"

She shrugged. "I thought I could lift it off of him."

"Why are you pushing so hard to establish links with the command centre?" Logan asked.

"Why are you trying so hard not to?" she asked him in return.

"I'm no trying to prevent you from establishing the comms link. It's just … I'm just trying to protect you, Max. That was my reason for bringing you back up here. To make sure you are safe."

Max slumped a little in her chair, their brief confrontation seemingly taking an awlful lot out of her leaving her limbs leadened somewhat.. "I know," she said sadly.

He could tell by the tone of her voice that that was the end of the argument about the comms link – at least for now.

After a few moments of silence, in an attempt to steer things back to normal, he signalled to her glass. "You haven't touched your wine."

"I'm not really in the mood," she said softly.

Logan eyed her with genuine concern. "You okay?"

She shrugged. "To be honest, I'm not feeling too well."

Logan was out of his seat like a shot. He came to her side and put a hand to her forehead. "What's wrong?" he asked tenderly.

Annoyed by his touch but deciding she didn't have the strength to shirk away from him at least for the time being, Max replied, "Just feeling a little whacked, that's all."

"You don't seem to have a fever," he said in a strange voice.

"You sound so disappointed," she accused him.

Logan removed his hand and stood up, preparing to return to his seat. "No. Not at all."

Before he turned away, Max grabbed his arm."What Logan? What did you think was wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me," she asked him.

"It's nothing," he told her in an attempt to brush her off.

"No. It's not nothing. I can tell by the look on your face."

Logan sighed and momentarily debated whether or not to go on. "I was just wondering, the other day … oh god …" he began clearly, uncomfortable.

"What?"

"I was just wondering about … your heat cycle."

"What?" Max screeched.

"Max, we've been here for three coming up four months and you haven't had a heat cycle. I was just thinking-"

Max shook her head in disbelief. "You were just thinking that since the virus was cured you might get-"

"No! Nothing like that!" Logan cried. "God, Max, you still can't bring yourself to touch me. I was just thinking … I just wanted to be prepared. I've never lived with a transgenic before."

"Is that why you're keeping me here Logan?"

"What? I'm not keeping you here."

"You won't let me come to town. I haven't left this place for eight weeks-"

Logan faced her straight on. "You know we have to keep a low profile. White-"

Max couldn't help the hysteria that was rising in her voice. "You're keeping me, like some prized pet, waiting for me to go into heat, with no other men around-"

Logan vehemently shook his head. "What? Max, you've got it all wrong."

"What is it exactly that you want from me, Logan?" she asked him tearfully.

"I …" he faltered.

"Give me the truth. Be honest. If we are ever going to work this thing out, then I need to know. What is it that you want?"

"Max, I don't—"

"Spare me," she interrupted. "Tell me. What do you want?"

"I want …" he swallowed hard. Taking his time, knowing that he had to get this just right. "I won't lie to you. I want us. The way we used to be. I love you, Max. I always have and always will."

"Logan-" she started as what she secretly feared was realised, and the tears began.

"I know it's been hard," he told her. "I didn't expect everything to be exactly the same as it was before straight away. I know it will take time. But Max, we did have something once, something so very special between us, and we can have that again in time. I'm willing to give you all the time you need. It's been three months since we've been here and we're yet to touch – at least on purpose. I know you're probably afraid that the cure might not be real, that you might hurt me, but don't be. It's okay. It's going to be okay. We can have what we once had."

Max lowered her head to avoid his gaze, suddenly so tired that speech was almost beyond her. "Things change, Logan," she said softly.

"They don't have to, Max."

She looked up at him. "No you don't understand," she whispered. "Things have already changed. My life without you, when you left for Canada the first time when I ran Terminal City without you, I had to go on, Logan-"

"It doesn't matter-" he told her.

"No," she insisted he listen. "I have to tell you, just what happened in those months, that year-"

He knelt before her and placed both hands on the sides of her face. "Max, I don't need to know."

"Logan, please-" she pleaded.

"Max. I don't need to know. I don't want to know. That year, we were apart? It doesn't change anything."

Oh god, how could he say that to her? Of all the things he could have said, why that? For a moment she wondered if he was punishing her, but then she remembered. There was no way that he could know … he couldn't know that she had uttered that very phrase to Alec the morning of her departure from Terminal City …

**_Flashback_**

She had waited for over an hour for him to wake, resisting a strong desire to leave the bed they were sharing before it was too late … before she had no choice but to face him. She spent long minutes composing what she did not want, but needed to say. When she began to feel him stirring her heart began to race once more – except this time it wasn't from excitement or passion, but fear and dread. She would have liked to have called their night together a mistake, but knew that after what they had shared, after the love he had shown, there was no way she could lie to him like that. So she decided on a different tactic – perhaps one a little less cruel, but cruel nonetheless.

"Just so you know," she began as right after he had let out a huge yawn signalling his consciousness. "Just so we're clear …. about last night….. it doesn't change anything," she said.

Alec was dumbfounded. She surprised him – not by what she said, but by the fact that she was there to say something to him at all. He had expected her to run – he had expected that come morning, she wouldn't be there. Last night had been incredible – the most amazing experience of his life. He had finally made love – not had sex – but made love to the women he had been in love with for literally years. It was both everything and nothing like he had imagined. And if he was honest, it was the singularly most frightening emotional time in his life; he could not quite believe how desperate he was to be with her; to be inside of her. Never before had he experienced what it was like to literally want to devour and be devoured, mind body and soul by another person. And despite what Max had just said to him, Alec knew, even before it had ended, that last night had changed everything – at least for him.

She continued to stare directly in front of her up to the water stained ceiling determined not to look in the eye of her lover. "I mean it, Alec. This doesn't change a thing."

"Not exactly the good morning I was looking for," Alec admitted while swallowing a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. Perhaps humour wasn't the best defence right now.

"Last night was last night, Alec. This is the cold reality of a brand new day. I know what you were going to say. You probably thought that just because I slept with you I might have changed my mind about leaving-"

"That's not why I slept with you," he told her, his tone just as angry as hers had been. He raised himself up on one elbow and looked directly down at her. "Us being together wasn't some trick, Max."

"I know. But it can't change things, Alec. I still have to leave."

He brought a hand up to her face, turned it with as much gentleness as he could allow, and made her face him for the first time since he woke. "So it didn't mean as much to you as it did for me?"

Her eyes moistened. "It did. It does mean a lot to me. More than you will ever realise."

"But you're leaving anyway."

"Don't you see that I have to? Now more than ever. I have to protect you, Alec."

"From what exactly, Max? What is your leaving going to protect me from? From being hurt? You're leaving me so I won't get hurt, is that right?" _How_ _can you say that, if when you leave me, I'll be nothing but hurt? he thought to himself._

"You'll get over it," she said coldly.

And there it was. Max's decision. She was dismissing him – just like that.

"I see. Well then, I guess you had better go," he told her bitterly, as he leant over the side of the bed, retrieved the shirt she has tossed there the night before and threw it at her.

"Alec-"

"No. I'm done, Max. I don't know what you want from me. Do you want me to beg? Something tells me that if sleeping with you didn't work then begging wouldn't either."

Seemingly satiisfied, Max nodded "Well, as long as we understand each other then," she said as she rose, grabbed her duffle and ran from the room with tears in her eyes.

_**End Flashback**_

"It doesn't change anything," Logan whispered again, as his face moved closer to hers, his intent clear.

Her head was spinning, a thousand rambling thoughts flashing through her mind – of Alec … of Logan … of truths …. of possibilities … of pain …. of regret … . of loss … of forgiveness … Her head was spinning making her sick once more. She didn't know what was happening, only that it was clear Logan was going to kiss her and that she had been wrong to ever think that she could have made a life for herself with this man.

_Oh god help me_, she thought as she found herself immobilised against Logan's breathe as it brushed across her cheek.

"I love you, Max," Logan whispered softly against her skin.

Max whimpered as her attempts to move away from him failed.

"Nothing can come between us now," he told her as he closed his eyes and began to crush his lips to hers, only to be interrupted by a piercing scream from a few rooms away.

Max's breathe hitched. "Jed," she whispered.

**To be continued………**

**Author's Note:**

Apologies for the delay posting this chapter. I re-wrote it three times and I know there are some errors in the post but I just had to post it before it drove me insane. I ended up combining three chapters into one and apologise if the flow is a little confusing. I also wanted to see if I could throw a few of you off this way (some of you know exactly where I am going with this story) and then bring you back.

I don't know whether I hate Logan here for not letting Max off the hook or admire his love for her….. I didn't really want him to come out as all creepy here, but his voice just got into my head and I didn't have any control over what he said – he just said it. I think I've told you before that I have no control over my characters.

Some of you may have picked up on the following where Logan says "the fact of the matter is I love her and like I told you, right before I left Terminal City the last time, I am never, ever going to give up on her or us…"

That little reference is to another story I wrote called Storm Brewing It sooo fits into this story that I was tempted to put part 1 in here word for word – except I think that would breech rules about mutliple postings of the one story so I didn't. But hey you can clink on the author link and go read it if you like. nudge nudge, wink wink 

Please review such little payment for so much effort. My goal is to reach 200 reviews for this story. Hence reviews keep me writing.

Til next time Sarah


	22. Before I wake

**Today "They" Won the Battle**

**Part 22**

**By Rhasa**

Alec followed closely behind Mole, madder than hell. This was a complete waste of his time, but for some reason he couldn't convince Mole of this fact. It was insane for him to have to be responsible for solving every little disagreement that broke out amongst the inhabitants of Terminal City.

"They're adults," he had told his lizard friend who had come to him complaining that things were getting ugly between an X5 unit leader named Loader, and Quinn, a relative newcomer who had for some unknown reason been placed in charge of sentry details. "They'll sort it out."

"Not this time, they won't," Mole had assured him. "It's gonna come to blows, and I don't like Quinn's chances against Loader. He's the X5 who took out Bear over the allocation of space heaters a couple of weeks ago."

"I thought we were over this territorial shit," Alec mumbled.

"We are. Well mostly," Mole admitted. "Now we've moved on to disputes about sentry details. And unless you do something about it, as I said, it's going to get ugly."

Alec was about to reply, why me? When the absurdity of the question hit him. Why him? Because he was a chump, that's why – or at least that's what he thought. Damn Max for leaving him with all this shit to deal with.

It was pure understatement to say that the last few months had been hard on Alec. Leading this rag tag team was taking its toll on him. Apart from his main role of ensuring there was food, water, and power – all the essentials necessary in order to ensure relative peace and tranquility in a place like Terminal City - he was constantly bombarded with what he called 'insignificant interruptions' to his main task of just keeping everyone alive. There just seemed to be no sense to the problems that people would come to him with. He couldn't quite predict what problems he would face on a day-to-day basis. He also couldn't quite believe just how much little, 'incidental' problems seemed to take up of his time. People referred to him on almost everything and anything – from munitions training, to dating advice – hell he'd even had a few females come to him asking if he could 'help' them through a heat cycle. Once upon a time he would be more than happy to oblige with that particular problem; but now things were different. Taking a more 'responsible' approach, he liaised with Travis and arranged separate digs for females in heat which was patrolled by other females.

It's not like he would have even had time to 'help' a few X5 females in heat anyway. Being the new leader of Terminal City left him pretty much zero time to himself. On the rare occasion he made it back to his apartment on the east side of Terminal City, he would often collapse into bed, wondering all the while what on earth he had gotten himself into. It was just as well though, he mused late one night - when the relative calm of the day had afforded him a breather; if he had have had too much time to think who knows what conclusions he would have come to, or what plans he would have made. Luckily for everyone involved, his new job description prevented him from pretty much focusing on anything other than the problem at hand. And right now there was a problem that, according to his amphibian friend needed his direct attention.

'I don't suppose you're gonna leave me alone until I come deal with this are you?" he asked Mole.

Mole shook his head in response.

Cursing everything and everyone under his breath, Alec ran a hand through his disheveled hair, let out a frustrated sigh, threw up his hands in defeat and followed Mole out of the command centre.

Alec could hear the argument raging between Loader and Quinn just before he and Mole stepped into the mess. Why the troublemakers had picked this particular spot to have a confrontation was anyone's guess, although upon entering the crowded room, Alec assumed that Loader had cornered Quinn while he was grabbing a bite, since Quinn was arguing while still holding a plate of today's special in his hand. The two of them looked almost comical going head to head. Quinn a scrawny X series, that couldn't be much more than 5 foot eight, gesticulating wildly, sending pieces of food flying off his plate in some kind of frenzy, up against Loader an infuriated six foot seven, balding, hulking mass of muscle. Alec paused to both watch and listen as the two continued to entertain the crowd with their bickering. From the way Loader was being restrained by two other X5s, it was obvious that he had taken a swing at Quinn. Quinn to his credit, didn't seem to be at all concerned about the possibility of Loader pulling free from the grasp of the others, as he continued to shout in the larger man's face.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this from an X5! You sure you're not mistaken and they didn't put a little too much sloth in your DNA cocktail!"

"Are you implying that we're not pulling our weight? Say yes and I'll pound your ass," Loader screamed back at him.

"You heard me," Quinn baited him, as he stepped closer to his opponent.

Loader, obviously used to using his fists instead of words, struggled hard against his restrainers, managed to get an arm free, and swung it towards Quinn.

Alec used the opportunity to move in to stop it. "Hey! HEY!" he yelled at them. "Just what the hell is going on?"

Loader, seeing Alec straightened up, took a step back, but remained silent. His reluctance to bring his CO into the argument making Alec think that some things since Manticore just hadn't changed.

When both remained silent, Alec sighed and asked Quinn directly. "Well?"

"Loader was just … describing his unhappiness about the new sentry detail I posted this week," Quinn told Alec.

Alec flashed Loader a look. A blank expression – one that Alec knew well from his own days at Manticore – had fallen over the larger man's face. Alec knew he wasn't going to offer anything up to his CO. As far as he was concerned this was a matter between himself and the weasel that was arguing with him.

Sighing again, Alec turned back to Quinn and signaled for him to elaborate a bit on what else was going on.

"He was complaining about the extra sentry hours," Quinn told Alec, then without pause faced Loader and continued. "Yes, your unit has been assigned a few extra hours," Quinn told him calmly. "Everyone is doing extra. I've had to pull units off sentry to help rebuild the tunnels and since White's attack, double sentry at the same time. Someone has to pick up the slack. I just assumed you and yours would prefer sentry to hauling dirt for eight hours a day."

The larger man scowled. "My unit is doing more than a few extra hours a day and you know it."

"As I told you before, I'm sure they can handle it," Quinn said somewhat dismissively.

"Says who? You? You don't know my men. They've pulled double sentry for that past fourteen weeks. They need some down time."

'I'll be happy to switch their detail to the tunnels," Quinn said smugly.

"That's not gonna cut it," Loader growled again.

Quinn took a defensive stand. "Well it's gonna have to cut it because there isn't anyone else."

"They're tired. They need some R and R."

"They're X5's for chrissakes," Quinn said while rolling his eyes.

"And you're not. So you're not in a position to know what they need. You want an effective soldier? You want them to be ready and on their toes the next time White storms? Then you have to retire them every once in a while. Sentry may seem like a cushy job for you paper chasers, but it's not. They're on edge. All the time. And if they don't get some rest one of them or some of them are going to blow. And trust me," he said pointing a threatening finger towards Quinn, "you don't want to be around when that happens. Besides what makes you think that I'm asking you to take 'em off. I'm not asking. I'm telling. If you don't do it, I will order them not to pull a stint. Don't think I'll get much resistance on that one."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Alec butted in finally. "I'm sure we can work this out."

Loader, clearly impatient, fixed Alec with a glare. "As far as I'm concerned there's nothing to work out. It's simple. Pure and simple. My unit aint goin' to be doin' this shit no more. As you keep telling us, we're not in Manticore anymore and I'm not going to be takin' orders from this dweeb."

Alec sighed, and instantly thought he really should stop doing that. He just didn't need this. Not now. Seeing there was no way Quinn was going to cut Loader some slack, he decided to make an executive decision.

"You and your unit can have the next three days off all details— " he began.

"Alec, wait. I—" Quinn, a look of horror coming over his face, tried to interject, only to be ignored.

"And we see about rotating the details, so it's not the same one all the time," Alec continued. "I'm sure you wouldn't mind at least one duty a fortnight in the tunnels, you know, to just break up the monotony and all."

Loader, clearly satisfied, smiled and said, "We can do that."

"You gotta understand though, Loader," Alec said a little quieter. "We're just getting back on our feet since White's attack. There's been a lot of changes. It's hard. Believe me I know how hard it is, but right now's the time when I need to know that guys like you and like those in your unit have our back. We're countin' on ya buddy. Things may be a little uncomfortable for a while, but hopefully that won't be for too long." Moving closer to Loader, Alec lowered his tone. "Quinn's just following orders too, you know. It's hard making resources stretch – you can only do so much."

Loader, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself for some strange reason, looked down at his feet. "All we ask for is a little consideration. This aint no dictator state."

"I know. I know," Alec told him.

"I know my men. They aint slackers. They're realists. Many of them sustained injuries during the attack – two were critical and yet they were back on duty within two weeks. We're Manticore. I mean ex-Manticore. Hard work is never a problem, but being taken for granted and pushed beyond our limits is."

Alec nodded sympathetically. "I hear ya'," he said before slapping the larger man on the back, essentially ending the matter and turning to deal with Quinn.

Having seen Alec and Loader come to an 'understanding' most of those in the mess who had stopped whatever it was that they were doing to watch the performance returned to what they were doing before.

Alec waited a few moments before speaking to a clearly miffed Quinn.

"I don't have time for this shit, Quinn," he said annoyed. "I put you in charge."

"I'm doing the best I can," Quinn told him.

Deciding he didn't want to put Quinn off side, he was after all the only one who had 'volunteered' to take on the work details, Alec adopted the conciliatory tone that he had used on Loader. "Part of having this responsibility is dealing with all the problems that comes with it. You gotta learn to be a bit more diplomatic when it comes to assigning duties. You gotta listen to their concerns," he advised him. "Look, Loader's an effective unit leader. If he says his men need downtime, then they probably need downtime."

Quinn opened his mouth ready to argue back, when looking at Alec, he shut it again. What was the point. "And what am I going to do about sentry now?" he asked.

Alec thought for a moment. "Put Bear and the other transhumans on riverside on to it. At least for tonight. None of those guys sleep anyway. Tell 'em I'll give them an extra week's food rations. Bear's getting ready for hibernation anyway and could do with the extra caloric intake. I think it's about time we third the tunnel duties. Re work everything and come see me first thing in the morning to go over the numbers. Got it?"

"Got it," a disgruntled Quinn affirmed.

In the end it wasn't too difficult to placate both Loader and Quinn, which left Alec even more angry that Mole had brought him into this shit. "As I said, I don't have time to be sorting out the little things. You could've stopped it with a terse word and a snarl, Mole," he told his 'so-called friend' as they returned to the command centre.

"Not my job," Mole drawled.

"'Tis now," Alec threw over his shoulder as he turned to do a quick peruse of the computer terminals. "I was waiting for you to step up to the role of Two IC," he told him as he turned around to face him. "Now I'm making it an order. If you don't like it you know where the door is."

"You get more like her everyday. You know that?" Mole told him as he lit a fresh cigar.

"What are you talking about?" Alec asked a little miffed.

"I'm talking about Max. We all thought she was the bitch from hell most of the time, Mole confessed as he shook out the match he had in his hand. Taking a long draw on his smoke he continued. "Don't get me wrong, we all love her in a kinda-glad-you're-the-one-dealing-with-all-the-shit-that-we've-been-dealt kind of way. But most of us thought she didn't have to be so snippy about it."

Alec ignored his thinly veiled insult. "I mean it, I'm too damn busy with supply lists, negotiations with the Seattle PD, intel on White and the million other things that are going on in this damn place to play nursemaid to newbies like Quinn. If Quinn can't handle the job, give it to someone else. I'm over the ego stroking as well. That'll be your job for now on. You might want to brush up on a little skill called 'flattery'."

Mole stood there. No change in his demeanor. Just stood there, casually smoking as if he was at a goddamn picnic. His behavior annoyed the shit out of Alec, who for some reason was ready for a full out and out fight. Finally after smoking the stogie down the less than half, he, pointed a finger at Alec and said, "No one would blame you."

"What?"

"If you just upped and left. Hit the road. Did a runner."

Alec paused. He admitted to himself that he was pissed. Maybe he shouldn't be taking his frustrations out on Mole. It's not like the guy really deserved it. He wouldn't blame Mole for hating his guts, if that's what he felt about now. Alec had done nothing but bitched and moan, pulling a woe is me all the time lately. "Look man, I'm sorry for ragging on ya. I've just got so much going on, so much on my mind …," he began before realizing that he was doing it again. "Am I doing that bad of a job?" he asked his friend.

Mole shook his head and smiled – a little. "No. It's just … we all know that this was Max's crusade. Not yours. We kinda expected you to hightail it out of here a couple of weeks after she took off with Cale."

Alec couldn't help it. He winced. Whether because of his name or hers, didn't really matter. "Why's that?" he asked.

Mole shrugged. "Lotta reasons. But mostly because as I said this was her war, not yours."

"Maybe it's become my war. Maybe I finally really believe in what we are trying to do here."

"Remind me," Mole sneered. "Just what is that again?"

"We at the moment it's apparently trying to work out disputes over sentry detail," he tried to say with humor but it fell flat. Looking up at his friend, he told him honestly "I'm just trying to get us all by, Mole. That's all there is. Trying to survive."

"There's more than one way to survive, Alec. You know that. In here or out there," he said pointing to beyond the walls of the room in which they were in. "There's not really all that much difference you know."

"I know Terminal City aint exactly the Ritz, that it's not much above the sewers but for some of us here the sewers or the dark basements of Manticore are all that they've ever known. To them TC is frickin' Shangri-La. For the rest of us, the main difference between life in TC and taking our chances on the outside is at least in here you know exactly where you stand. There are people here who've got your back. There's no need to be afraid or to run and you're surrounded by family."

"Not anymore you aint."

"Don't start," Alec warned.

"No. I think now that I'm truly 2IC and after a statement like that I have every right to ask you one more time why you let them take Jed with them when they left."

"What's it to you? What gives you the right to question anything to do with my son? You're the one who wanted to snap his neck when he first arrived."

"That was before I got used to being an uncle," Mole grinned in good humor.

"And an ugly one at that."

"You wanna know what I think?"

"No. I don't. I really don't."

"I think you let Max have Jed so you'd have an excuse," Mole said ignoring him.

"For what?" Alec asked.

"For taking off after her."

Alec scoffed. "And why would I do that?"

"For the same reason that you're still stuck here, stepping into her shoes, doing all the things she entrusted you with to do. You're in love with her and you just can't let go."

"You're wrong," he said shaking his head.

"About which part? The part where you love her or the part where you can't let go?"

Alec avoided looking directly at his friend. "My staying in Terminal City has nothing to do with Max," he told him quietly.

"Maybe you're staying has got nothing to do with Max, but I'm betting that your 'not going' has everything to do with Max. What'd she say to you anyway?"

Alec looked up. He didn't owe Mole an explanation. What happened between him and Max before she left was nobody's business. Besides, he knew he could never really explain it to Mole's satisfaction without the lizard losing all respect for him. He could never really explain how it wasn't Max that had convinced him to let Jed return to Canada with her and Logan…

**Flashback**

"You can't make her do this, Logan."

He had never wanted to confront Logan. But after Max had left him and his bed, his anger began to build. Damn her for all her morals. He knew she loved him. Max was not the type of person to give herself willingly to just anyone. It wasn't pity sex either. She loved him. He loved her. As improbable as it may have once sounded, they were meant to be together, Alec was sure of it. The only thing preventing that was the promise she had made to Logan. Promise? That was rich, Alec thought. It was more like blackmail. He didn't know what had happened to his once friend to make him force her to do something like that. Maybe… maybe Logan just didn't realize that Max had moved on. Once before, when he had thought that Max had made another choice, he seemed willing to let her go, "Just take good care of her," is what he had told him… Maybe if he knew how they felt about one another now, that this time it was for real, and that equally they had never meant for it to happen, but it had, then he might be willing to return to Canada on his own…. Alec had to try. He wasn't going to give up without a fight.

Logan seemed to smile slightly when he turned around to see Alec standing in the doorway. For a split second, Alec suspected that the older man had anticipated the young X 5 commander would come to see him. "If you're talking about Max, then you already know that no one can 'make' her do anything."

"It's not right," Alec said simply.

Logan threw down some papers he had in his hands, sighed and straightened up. This was obviously one conversation he didn't want to have. "She made a choice, Alec."

Alec took a few steps inside. "From what I hear, you didn't give her a choice!"

"It **was** a choice, and she made it."

Alec shook his head. "I don't understand. I thought we were friends. I thought after Max had told you that she was just using me as a boyfriend for an excuse to keep you safe, that everything was all right between you and me. It was another four months after you found out about her deception before you left Terminal City. And everything seemed fine."

Logan winced at the word, Alec continued. "Why…… Why would you do this, Logan? Why would you back her into a corner like this? You know how much she values loyalty. You know she would never go back on her word. So why did you force her into making that choice? Why are you forcing her to leave?"

"If your relationship with Max had, as you say, really been a ploy, an excuse to keep me away, to keep me safe, then why are you so bent up about her leaving Terminal City?"

"What?" Alec was stunned, he couldn't still be angry about their earlier deception could he? That was ancient history.

The older man shook his head. He didn't really believe that Alec couldn't see the truth behind the situation. "Bottom line - I still care for her," he said deciding against arguing a moot point with the X5. "I love her. I worry about her. I want her safe, and she'll never be safe as long as she stays here."

"So you're doing this for her own good?" Alec said sarcastically. "Screw what she really wants; it's for the best, right?"

"I guess both of you thought it was a good idea when the tables were turned."

"That was different."

"Really? How so?"

"I didn't black mail her."

Logan scoffed. "And neither did I."

Trying desperately to keep his anger in check, Alec spun on the man. "What's wrong with you? You bargained with her for my life!"

"It wasn't like that. I tired to get her to see reason. It was a means to an end," Logan told him matter-of-factly.

"And you don't care that she doesn't love you?"

A muscle in Logan's neck spasmed. "She's never said that."

"But you know it's true; don't you."

"I care for her. I want her safe," Logan told him in no uncertain terms. "We'll work the rest out later."

"What….?" Alec chuckled nervously to himself in disbelief. "You're going to keep her captive with this promise you forced her to make in the hope that she'll begin to have feelings for you again?"

"There's no way a person like you could possibly understand. What we had was real. It was a once in a lifetime kind of thing. And something like that is never easy. But the fact of the matter is I love her and like I told you, right before I left Terminal City the last time, I am never, ever going to give up on her or us…"

"In case you didn't know, I have real feelings for Max – this isn't just some pissing competition," Alec told him.

"Same here."

"I'm not going to let you do this."

"I'm not doing anything, Alec; it's Max's choice. If, as you say, you really do care about her, then you should see that leaving Terminal City is the right thing for her to do. Do the soldierly thing – think with your head, not with your heart – or any other part of your anatomy."

"You son of a bitch" Alec growled through gritted teeth.

"Now there's the pot calling the kettle black."

Then without hesitation, Alec added, "I should kill you."

Logan stared right back at the younger man. "But you won't. Because where would you be then? She'll hate you, possibly forever, if anything happens to me."

"I wouldn't be so sure of myself, if I were you Logan," Alec told him.

"I'm not. The only thing I am sure of is that by leaving Terminal City and coming back to Canada with me, Max has a chance at a normal life. If you know her as good as you think you do, then you'll know that that's all she's ever wanted."

"Maybe that's what she wanted in the beginning, but not now. What she wants now, more than ever is family."

Logan smiled, then in a much calmer voice, "Well then, you have the power to give that to her."

"What do you mean?"

"Let us take Jed back with us. Give Max the chance to have a 'real' family."

Alec couldn't believe what he had just heard. "No-"

"White already knows about Jed. How long do you think it will be before he's in danger again?" Logan asked, then when Alec hesitated, he added, "He doesn't have to be. Max and I can raise him-"

"He's my son-"

Logan nodded. "And as his father I'm sure there is nothing more that you want for him than for him to be safe."

"The safest place for him is with me," Alec said a little stronger.

Logan shook his head. "You really believe that?"

"Yes, I do. We're family and family has to stick together."

"Like Joshua," Logan asked. "Joshua died protecting 'your' family, Alec. How many more have to die?"

Alec said nothing.

"You know what I'm saying is true," Logan continued. "If you give a damn about your son, you should do what's best for him, otherwise …"

"Otherwise what?" Alec couldn't help but ask.

"Otherwise, it becomes all about you, doesn't it Alec. Which is exactly what we've come to expect."

**End Flashback**

**TBC…..**

**Author's Note:**

Okay, so this was for the few of you that wanted to know how Jed got to be with Max and Logan. Of course there's more to it than that which may come in the next part (I'll have to see about that). Just know that while Alec currently hates Logan for what he's 'making Max' do (although really , couldn't she find a way out of it? Don't ask me I'm just the writer and have no control over what my characters do :-P), the issue of keeping Max, and Jed for that matter, safe is a serious one for Alec. Especially after seeing her all hurt like she was after White's attack. Also, note Mole's change of heart for little Jed. I knew he'd come around. Just because he's ugly doesn't mean he's all that tough.

A little note about the flashbacks, I hate putting bold 'Flashback" as a subheading. I used to blend the present with past segments together, but a few people couldn't pick up on the subtle changes and didn't know what was going on, hence my decision to try the **flashback end flashback** headings. If you hate them just say so and I'll switch back.

A few of you may have picked up on a reference made by Logan to an earlier conversation between himself and Alec regarding Max right before he left TC for Canada. That conversation is my other fic "Storm Brewing" so you may want to check that one out (and please review) although I know many of you already have.

The delay in posting this latest chapter is due to this dreaded virus (human – not computer) that has been going around Southern parts of Australia. It has laid me flat for four going on five weeks now. I didn't know it was possible to have an extremely sore throat (we're talking about swallowing razor blades here) for that long. I can't say that I am getting any better. This is the first time I've been at my computer all week. I'll do my best.

Unless my characters hijack me there are three, possibly four, chapters/parts to go in this story – but then just the other day I had a great idea for a spin off, although I don't know if I could do something as big as this again. Just wanted to say thanks to all those people out there who are hanging in there. Also, I would really appreciate reviews, especially from those people who don't usually review because they can't think of what to say – just say hi, liked it, didn't like it, whatever.

Til next time

Sarah


	23. The worst news

**TTWTB**

**Disclaimer in Part 1**

If you're still reading this story I know it's been a while since I posted, so maybe you should read the last couple of chapters at least before you read this one.

**Part 23 by Rhasa**

"Ssshhh….. sssshhh…"

Jed's cries pulled at Max's heart. She may not have been a "mother" for very long, but she knew enough to know that something was wrong with the bundle in her arms. From what she had heard from others in Terminal City and what she had experienced with Jed in the last few months, transgenic babies didn't cry very much. And yet Jed had gone from crying to whimpering then to bawling for the last four hours.

Max continued to pace him across the room as she had for the last few hours, patting and rubbing his back in a steady rhythm, trying anything to bring him some comfort. She looked down at Jed's splotchy red face and wiped the tracks of his tears. She almost couldn't bear to see the pain in those beautiful green eyes of his. His mouth opened wide and howled at her again, as if to say, _why can't you make it stop?_ "I know, I know," she whispered, as she kissed the top of his head. Her arms ached, but that was nothing to the stab of fear she felt in her chest. This just wasn't right. He's a transgenic. Max was at a total loss as to what could be wrong. She threw another look at an equally helpless Logan who had been sitting in the rocker for the last few hours.

Logan was still trying to wrack his brain. "Could he be teething?"

Max paused while considering Logan's theory. "I doubt it," she told him. "I doubt that something like 'teething' could distress an X5 baby this much."

"He may be an X5 Max, but he's still a baby. I've heard that teething can really mess up ordinary babies for a few months. When Brittany was young, her parents put aspirin gel on her gums and-"

"It's not teething, Logan." Max sighed.

They had ruled out the usual contributing factors to a baby's discomfort – fever, hunger, over tiredness, uncomfortable diaper, too hot, too cold, colic. Max knew Logan was trying to help, but felt that he should stop comparing Jed with ordinary children and trying to pass off what was happening as something all babies go through.

Logan wondered to himself whether he should push the issue. He understood Jed was an X5 but he also knew that Max was a relatively new at this sort of thing and just like any other first time mother was lacking in experience and self-confidence, desperately wanting to get it all right and have it 'go according to plan'. Perhaps she just needed some support – or some gentle persuasion. "How can you be so sure it's not teething?"

Max was extremely tired. "Because….. because I just know."

Logan got up and came over to her. "Here, let me take him. You've been on your feet a while."

A part of Max appreciated his offer - she was still feeling as ill as she had been during dinner, her nausea coming and going in waves like Jed's cries – but another part of her felt like shielding Jed away from Logan's open arms. She paused before handing him over wondering to herself just why it was she felt that way. It's not that she didn't trust him – she knew that Logan would never hurt Jed - it was just that seeing Logan holding Jed in his arms seemed ….. wrong in some way…. Somehow it just wasn't right… it wasn't natural.

"Why don't you get some rest," Logan tried to persuade her. "You look beat."

Jed let out another almighty cry as Logan took him from Max's arms. Clearly not wanting Logan to comfort him, Jed tried to throw himself back towards Max, only to have Logan spin him quickly around towards the window in an attempt to distract him so Max could remove herself from the room with a minimum of fuss.

Max tried to swallow the lump that rose in her throat. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest as she fought the urge to reach back to Jed again. As Jed's wails grew louder, she began to feel a cold flush creep up through her body. Her hands began to tremble as a cold sweat broke out across her brow. As another wave of nausea hit, she could feel that she was going to pass out. A small part of her brain told her that now would be a good time to sit down in the rocker behind her; but she ignored her body and remained on her feet, swaying slightly as Logan stared out of the window trying to distract Jed, and being totally oblivious to her own distress.

"I think we should take Jed back to Terminal City and have Kyra take a look at him," she said to Logan's back. It was clear that Jed was more distressed in Logan's arms then before, so Max swallowed hard and stepped in and took him back again, feeling relieved and a little less sick in her stomach once she had him in her arms again.

"Max, it's only been four hours."

"I know," she told him. "But something is wrong, Logan. I can feel it. He shouldn't be crying like this."

Logan sighed in frustration. "All babies cry – even transgenics."

"Not like this."

Logan sensed that he was never going to win this argument. "There's a peadiatrician in Kewell. That's an hour's drive from here."

Max shook her head. "We can't risk exposing him by taking him to a peadiatrician."

"We can't risk exposing him by taking him for a three day drive back to Terminal City."

Max ignored him. "We need Kyra. She's been treating all the transgenic babies in Terminal City for the past year. She'll know what to do. If we had the comms link for the video feed then maybe we wouldn't need to make the trip, but since that's not a possibility then returning back to TC is our only option."

Logan ignored her comments about the comms link – it was obvious she was still angry with him about that. "Max, if there is something seriously wrong with him like you say, then a three day trip could be dangerous for him."

"I'm aware of that, Logan. But it's a risk I'm willing to take."

"And what about Alec? Would he want you to take that risk with his child? Max, Alec wanted us to have Jed to keep him safe – going back to Terminal City may just jeopardise that."

"But if Jed gets any worse so could not going back."

"Max, we don't know that he's going to get worse."

"No. No we don't. But you have to trust me on this one, Logan. Something is desperately wrong. I can _feel_ it. I don't think this is going to get better."

"All mothers say that. It's part over protectiveness and part fatigue talking," he tried to reassure her, as he reached a hand out to gently cup her cheek. "You know I wouldn't let anything happen to Jed if I could help it. We're a family now."

Max couldn't help it she visibly cringed at his touch and his words.

Noticing her obvious aversion to him, Logan dropped his hand and sighed. "Max, if I thought that we truly needed to go back then we'd go in a second."

"Logan, it's not just Jed."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want you to worry. But I'm sick too. I don't know what's wrong. I thought that maybe it had something to do with the injuries I sustained during the attack on Terminal City, but now my seizures are beginning to return-"

A look of alarm came over Logan's face. "We can get more tryptophan-"

Max shook her head. "No. I have enough trytophan but it isn't working as well as it should."

"You should have told me."

"As I said, I didn't want you to worry. But now….. now that Jed is sick too….. I think we need to go back…."

"I can take care of you Max, both you and Jed. That's what I vowed to do. Whatever's wrong, we can get through it together. You know I wouldn't let you down. You know I can take care of you."

"I know…." She said sadly. "But the best way to take care of us right now is to take us home."

"I had hoped that _here_ would be your home."

Max didn't say anything.

Logan sighed, knowing that he had just lost this battle. Didn't she know just how much he cared for her? He had feared this would happen. He had tried to make this her home in the past few months. He had allowed himself to think that everyone needed a little 'adjustment' time when they moved so far away, but who was he kidding? Max would never settle down here. Max doesn't seem to do 'settle down'. A part of him could understand her restlessness – she had been on the run for nearly a decade after her escape from Manticore. But another part of him couldn't for the life of him understand her need to go back to Terminal City. Logan didn't want to think of what was back there that seemed to call to her.

He looked at Max and flinched when he saw the tiredness in her eyes. He couldn't help it – he loved her – desperately. And if something was wrong, then he would never jeopardize her health.

He bent forward and softly brushed his lips against her cheek. "I'll go pack some things."

Max smiled softly as Logan left the room, an immense wave of relief washing over her. Jed let out a fresh wave of howls. Despite his squirms she held him close to her chest and planted another small kiss on his hairline.

"It's okay," she cooed. "Everything is going to be okay now. We're going to see Daddy. Yes we are. We're going to see Daddy and he's going to make everything okay."

She walked towards the window and took up the patting and swaying rhythm she had adopted previously. With her back to the door, she didn't notice Logan standing in the hall, his shoulders slumped.

The hand on Alec's bicep made him spring into action. In true transgenic form, it took Alec less than a second once he had registered the threat to make it to his feet, grab hold of his assailant, slam him onto the ground, and wrap his hands around his throat. Now as he looked down at the form before him with his heart hammering in his chest, a look of total confusion marred his features.

"Dalton? What the hell?"

"A – Alec. You didn't answer the door! I've been knocking for a good five minutes."

Alec released the younger transgenic, who sat up, coughed and rubbed the red marks that now lined his throat.

"Sorry, man," a sheepish Alec said. "I must have been really out of it."

"Yeah," coughed Dalton. "That, I figured when you didn't answer the door. Either that or you were 'entertaining', if you know what I mean."

Alec stretched out a hand to help the boy up. He gave him a good solid pat on the back which said 'ho hard feelings," then turned to his bed and grabbed a T to ward off the chill in the room.

"Don't do that much entertaining these days," Alec mumbled, then added, "Don't you know how dangerous it can be sneaking up on an X5 when they're sleeping?"

"I wasn't sneaking. Like I said, I hammered away on that door of yours for a good five minutes. Mole said you might be hard to wake, that you haven't slept for the past three days."

"Yeah, I don't know what's been wrong with me. Tonight's been the first night I've been able to catch some Z's. If Mole knows this then he wouldn't send you here to wake me unless it's something important."

"He didn't send me," Dalton told him. "Kyra did. You're wanted in the infirmary. Like now."

Alec nodded. It wasn't all that unusual for him to be roused in the middle of the night to attend to some urgent matter that called for his leadership. Busted water pipes, security breeches, a particular nasty fight amongst TC occupants – all reasons why he had been woken in the past. Alec viewed most of these as minor inconveniences and as such they were part of the job of being number one in TC. Still, he liked to be prepared. "Do you know what's going on?" he asked, as he reached for his boots.

Dalton shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. "Yeah, but I think she should tell you."

"Tell me what?" Alec pushed, as he tied up his laces.

Dalton avoided both the question and Alec's gaze.

Alec thought it must be kind of serious if Dalton was avoiding telling him. The younger transgenic usually loved to be in the thick if things, it wasn't like him to be holding back on something. "Come on, man. Tell me what?" Alec asked again as he stood and reached for his jacket. "What's going on?"

Dalton sighed. His reluctance to 'spill' was not lost on Alec, and that made the older man just a tad concerned. Alec threw him a look that said, "Well?"

Dalton swallowed. "They've come back."

Alec's brow wrinkled in confusion. "They? Who's come back?"

"Umm…"

Alec was getting annoyed. "Dalton, just spit it out man. I'm going to find out in about four minutes anyway."

Dalton swallowed hard. "It's Max and Jed, and they're not doing too well."

And for the second time that evening, Alec's heart was hammering in his chest.

For four o'clock in the morning, the infirmary was a hive of activity. Alec could hear the commotion before he had even made it to the doorway. Try as he might, he hadn't been able to get any further information from Dalton on his way over. He didn't really know what to expect. But he knew whatever it was it must be serious for them to come back to Terminal City. Had White found them? Had they been attacked? The last communication they had had with them had been almost three weeks ago through a mule. There had been no suggestion that their location had been compromised then. All he knew was that it was 'serious' and that both Max and Jed were involved.

Alec's acute hearing picked up the barked orders of TCs only 'doctor' just before he burst through the doors. There was an edge of panic to Kyra's voice, something that was seldom, if ever, heard. Alec threw the doors open only to be stopped by a huge scaly hand to his chest.

"Just hold on a tic there princess," Mole, sans cigar, slurred.

"Mole. God tell me what's going on," Alec pleaded.

"That's what we're trying to find out just now."

Alec craned his neck over the lizard man's shoulder trying to get a closer look. All he could see were two huddles of people, working desperately around two beds. Kyra was moving back and forth between the two beds, giving orders for IVs and other medicines. Alec couldn't tell who was on either bed. The fact that there was no noise coming from either bed was making him extremely nervous. He had an overwhelming urge to kick the ass of his second in command and push his way over to the beds, but the sane part of him knew he may be compromising their care if he did. Instead, he swallowed his panic. "Kyra sent for me," he told Mole.

"Yeah. She'll need you in another minute or two."

"Why? What happened? White?" Alec asked.

"No," Mole shook his head. "They're not injured," he told him as he threw a look over at the beds again. "They're… sick."

Alec was confused. "Sick? Sick with what?"

"That's what Kyra's trying to find out. There was talk about quarantining them before we knew what was going on, but…"

"They're X5, Mole. X5's don't get 'sick'," Alec growled.

"I know."

Alec strained again for another look. What Mole had told him didn't make sense. How did an X5 get sick enough to warrant this amount of medical attention? What on earth was wrong with them? And why both of them? Why Max and his son? As he watched the activity which didn't appear to be lessening any he noticed for the first time, Logan standing in the corner of the room and began to push pass Mole.

Mole's hand stilled him.

"Logan," Alec whispered by way of explanation.

Mole followed Alec's gaze, nodded and let his leader pass.

Logan, who had been slumped against the two walls in the corner, straightened as Alec approached. Up close Alec could see that the older man's body was wracked with fatigue while his eyes were full of fear and worry. That didn't dampen the anger that had suddenly begun to rise in Alec though.

"What happened?" Alec asked not bothering to 'greet' him.

Accepting that Alec would want answers straight away, Logan nodded his head. "Jed took sick three almost four days ago. He was crying all the time. No fever, no other signs, just the crying. We thought it might be teething or something."

"Teething?" a now seething Alec mocked.

A sheepish Logan shook his head. "We didn't know what was wrong with him, Alec. We were just guessing. There was a peadiatrician up near us but Max didn't want to take the risk. We were trying to figure out what was going on then Max got sick too. She told me her seizures had come back. She was taking her meds, but they were worsening. Max said their best chance was to get back here. That Kyra would know what to do. We left straight away. I drove pretty much straight through. Max lost consciousness eighteen hours ago, and Jed, well….." Logan didn't finish, instead he looked over towards the two beds.

Max was unconscious? Alec's panic rose up a notch. X5's didn't simply fall into unconsciousness. What on earth was going on? Alec was about to press Logan for more details, with his fist if necessary, when Kyra came over to him at last.

"Alec," she said tiredly.

Alec swallowed the lump in his throat. "Kyra, what's wrong with them?"

"I think we've got Max stable. Her heart beat is back to normal. Her blood pressure is on the way down. She's still unconscious though, and we'll have to do some more tests. The good thing is that she seems to be responding to treatments."

Something in Alec's heart lifted as Kyra spoke, but as she talked he noticed that there was still fear in her eyes. There was something she wasn't telling him.

"What about Jed?" he asked.

Kyra's shoulders dropped a little and she shifted her feet. She raised her hand and placed it on Alec's back, steering him away from Logan. "Let's talk over here," she whispered.

Alec knew from her behavior it wasn't good. He followed her lead for a few steps but then shrugged her hand off abruptly. "Kyra, please tell me," he begged. His heart was breaking from concern for his son.

Kyra took a deep breath. "Alec I'm sorry but it looks like progeria."

It felt like a truck had just crashed into Alec's chest. "No," he whispered. Alec had seen first hand the devastating effects of the dreaded disease. The rapidly aging condition was something the Manticore doctors had battled for years with their subjects. He had seen how it could turn a seemingly healthy X5 into an old man overnight as they grew older by decades in just a matter of days. What was worse, he knew that it always ended in the patient's death.

Alec didn't want that for his son. He wanted his son to grow up free and to have a life, a life that was his choosing. A life free from the torments of Manticore. And in a brief moment, Alec could picture that very life. He could imagine his son growing up becoming a teenager then a young man, with him, his dad, by his side. To know that his son wouldn't have that, to realize that he as his father would be denied all that, brought tears to Alec's eyes.

"He's going to die?" Alec asked.

Kyra sighed. "I want to try something. I want to transfuse him with your blood. I don't know … maybe the anti bodies in your blood will be enough to stave off the disease."

"Surely Manticore would have tried that with the others," Alec said despondently.

Kyra shrugged. "Maybe they did. Maybe they tried transfusion, but maybe it wasn't with a direct relative. We don't know what treatments Manticore tried. We don't know why some of us got progeria and some of us didn't. We don't know what prenatal care the females received during pregnancy or what care or treatment Jed's mother received before she escaped Manticore. All I know is that if we do nothing he will die, Alec. But I vow to you I will try everything I can possibly think of before that happens."

Alec looked into the other woman's eyes and saw determination. He knew that she meant what she said. She would try everything.

"Thank you," he whispered as he swallowed the huge lump that was in his throat.

She nodded. "Let's go see your son," she said.

TBC

Til next time

Sarah


	24. No title

TTWTB Part 24 by Rhasa

Summary: A multiple part story that explores the developing relationship between Max and Alec.

Disclaimer in Part 1

Max felt like total shit.

No. That was putting it mildly.

If there was something worse than feeling like total shit, then that's what Max felt.

One of the first things she noticed as the world came back to her was the continuous pounding in her head and the sick sensation swimming in her stomach. First, she recognized a familiar smell; then indistinct sounds and eventually muted voices. It seemed that she had played this scene out once before. Once too many for her liking. When her eyes finally focused after attempting to flutter open for a few good minutes, she knew immediately that she was back in Terminal City's infirmary. That knowledge made her feel both relived and afraid at the same time.

The last thing she remembered was driving with Logan, Jed crying and crossing the border, after that, nothing. Jed. She remembered just how worried she had been about Jed. Something was wrong with him. He was sick. He had been crying forever. She was sick too. But somehow, she hadn't been worried about that. All that mattered was getting Jed back home. Back to Terminal City. Back to Alec…..

"Hey," came a soft voice. "Glad you've decided to join us."

Max opened her eyes against her better judgment. "Kyra?"

Terminal City's one and only doctor smiled softly. "The one and only. You gave us quite a scare there."

"Seems like I'm making a habit of that," Max said.

Kyra nodded in agreement. "Yes, seems like. How are you feeling?"

Max grimaced. "You really don't want to know."

Kyra began to busy herself by taking Max's blood pressure, moving quickly, with purpose. "As the next best thing to your doctor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist you tell me."

Max raised a hand to the side of her skull. "My brain is trying to escape from my skull," Max complained.

A concerned look washed over the doctor's face. "Bad headache?"

Max nodded in silence.

"Probably an after effect from your last seizure."

The word 'last' was not lost on Max. "How many have I had?"

Kyra thought for a second. "Since you came in? About twenty or so. I've almost stopped counting."

"Was it the tryptophan? Did we get a bad batch?"

"No. It wasn't a bad batch. We dosed you up when you first came in then ran a test on the meds Logan bought with you. They were legit."

Max was confused. "Then why would I be seizing?"

Kyra eyed her patient wearily. "You really don't know?"

"No."

"Max, you're pregnant."

Pregnant? Max almost choked on the word. "What? No. I can't be."

"You are."

Max shook her head in disbelief. "No. I'm sick. We're sick. Jed and I. We're both sick. That's why we came back," she explained, before another thought hit her. "Where is Jed?" For the first time since waking Max noticed there was no crying. That was a good thing right?

Without blinking, Kyra told her, "Max, I'm really sorry. Jed didn't make it. He died about an hour ago."

"What?"

She was dreaming. That had to be it. Jed dead? No. No way. This couldn't be happening. He was sick, she knew that, but the last she remembered he had been crying heartily; maybe he had been a little pale, but those cries of his…. At the time, it seemed as if those cries could go on forever. There was no fever, no rash. How could Jed have died? And how could she be pregnant? If that were true, she would have known. No, it was all some bad dream.

"I'm sorry," Kyra repeated.

Max was momentarily dumbstruck. She didn't believe it. This wasn't happening. How is it possible that Jed was dead? Something wasn't quite right. Perhaps…. perhaps she had been captured by…. White…. Or Manticore? Maybe this was psy-ops making her worst fears come true. They had the technology. They could make her think her dreams were real. Hadn't Alec told her all about that, about the different ways they could torture a person?

Max struggled to sit up. She knew she had to get off this bed. She needed Alec. She needed to find out if this was real…

Kyra's small hands pushed at her former leader's chest. "Max, you need to lie still, until your blood pressure has completely stabilized."

"No," Max shook her head. "I need to find out what's going on. I don't believe Jed's dead. I don't believe what you're saying. I can't be pregnant. I need to see Alec." Despite Kyra's best efforts, Max swung her legs to the floor.

Kyra's hand on her arm stilled her. "Alec's not here Max."

Max peered around the large room and then looked straight at Kyra. "And neither is Logan. And he would be. Logan would be here when I woke up. He's always near me, whether I want him to be or not. If all this were real, Logan would be here."

"All this is real, Max. I know it's a shock but Logan has been here, every moment since he brought you in. A short while ago I sent him to get some coffee. I wanted to have some time to talk privately with you."

But Max was still uncertain. "What about Alec? Where's Alec? I need to see him."

"Alec is with …. Alec is with Jed. "

"I need to see him, Kyra," as she pushed past the doctor.

Max hesitated in the empty corridor, trying to think where Alec would be. She could see flurries of dust swirling in the early morning rays of sunlight that streamed through the high window at the end. There were a number of rooms she could try, some more private than others. These she would search first. She took a step to her right when a wave of dizziness overcame her. Kyra was at her side in an instant.

"Max you have to lay down."

Max grimaced as she clutched the wall waiting for a few moments for her symptoms to pass. "I can do this the hard way, Kyra, but if you just took me to him then it would be so much easier."

She could tell by the slump in Kyra's shoulders and the look in her eyes, that the doctor had resigned herself to the fact that Max was one stubborn patient that was not about to pay attention to her orders.

"They're down here," she told her.

Kyra lead Max a few doors down to what Max knew was once a storage room. From memory it was small and windowless and had served as an emergency backup operating theatre during the raids and attacks on Terminal City when the hospital had been overflowing with the severely injured.

You couldn't see straight in to the main part of the room straight away. The door opened to a little hall that had been formed by a series of high shelves that held most of TCs medical supplies.

Taking a few steps in, Max suddenly became very unsettled at the thought that she didn't know what to expect. She turned to Kyra. "How did he die?"

Kyra sighed. "We did everything we could. But Max, it was progeria."

"Progeria?"

"Yes."

"Then he _was_ sick."

"Yes. He was very sick."

"Logan thought Jed was teething."

Kyra shook her head. "Logan couldn't have known."

"No. But I knew. I knew there was something seriously wrong with him. That's why we came back. Why I made Logan bring us back…"

Placing a comforting hand on Max's shoulder, Kyra tried to reassure her. "There's nothing anyone could have done, Max. Believe me. We tried everything. We tried transfusing Jed with Alec's blood, but…'

Max nodded. She could tell from the tone in Kyra's voice just how Jed's death had affected the young doctor. She had wondered in the past whether Kyra had more strength than all the rest of them put together. How she did her job day after day, without becoming bitter, disillusioned and a complete mental case, when losing people became normal, Max could never quite understand. Maybe Kyra could do her job because she was a soldier. A soldier at war. And in war there were always casualties. But when it came to having children die …. Well that was something different all together.

Max swallowed hard against a painful lump that had made it's way into her throat. Was she ready for this? Was she ready to see Jed? Was she ready to see Alec? For a brief moment, she doubted her strength, but that moment passed quickly and she pressed on, knowing that even if she didn't _want_ to see them, she _needed_ to see them…. She needed to know.

Her heart clenched when she saw the back of Alec sitting next to a high hard medical gurney in the center of the room. The dim light overhead made it necessary for her to adjust to semi night vision. She couldn't see his face but she could hear a small sniff, and immediately she choked up. She blinked away tears that had suddenly formed in her eyes as her attention was drawn to the still figure in front of Alec.

At first, Jed looked as if he could have been asleep. His small body seemed so still and relaxed. A sheet covered him up to his chest. His arms were over the sheet. It was a sleep of peace and innocence. Max wondered how many times she had watched him sleep just like this in his crib up in Canada. But as she looked closer, there were other telltale signs that made his death and his suffering painfully obvious. He had lost his golden hair, his facial features looked distorted from wrinkles, and age spots and other marks now blemished his once beautiful smooth perfect skin. He had aged. On closer inspection, he looked a hundred years old. The small hand that Alec held in between his own looked deformed and arthritic, but that didn't seem to matter to Alec. He continued to rub a thumb gently back and forth across his dead son's knuckles and fingers, intermittently bringing his lips down to kiss the top of his head.

Max looked away. Her chest hurt. Her eyes were burning. She was choking and drowning at the same time. She needed air but somehow her body wasn't responding to her pleas to take a breath. It was too much. No. Not Jed. Please god, no. How could this have happened? She knew all too well the effects of the disease. She couldn't get the picture of her progeria afflicted clone back at Manticore out of her head. She knew just how painful a rapid death from progeria could be. It had only been a couple of days. Jed would have had to gone through a complete transformation in just a couple of days. And why? If only they had gotten him back to Terminal City a bit earlier. They may not have been able to save Jed, but surely, they would have been able to make him a little more comfortable.

She knew she was close to losing it. The sobs she had tampered down were threatening to break to the surface. And for some unknown reason she thought she couldn't let them. She bit her lip hard and tried to take in a deep breath. But it was no use, her breath hitched, the sound causing Alec to turn around.

When their gazes locked, for an instant, Max recognized a brief flash of relief in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with a look of sheer agony. Completely overcome with grief, his face looked just as distorted as his son's. Max tracked the tears that were freely flowing down his face. Never before had she seen him in so much pain. Not with Rachel or Joshua. Her own sobs broke free and seemed to echo around the room. In an instant, she was in his arms, their bodies crashing together with tremendous force. Max's heart broke a little more when he desperately clutched her to him. She knew he was holding on for dear life. Her arms ached, as she in return held onto him so tight. The warmth their frantic embrace created was little comfort against the cold and pain they both felt. It was in that instant that Max knew it was all for real.

"I'm sorry, Alec," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry… so sorry."

At her words a new wave of sobs wrack Alec's frame, unsettling them on their feet.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she whispered repeatedly, knowing that she could never apologise enough. After all he had entrusted her with his son and now his son was dead. Despite what anyone said, she was partially responsible for that.

It was hard to know just how long they stayed that way. Not that Max cared. As far as she was concerned, she could hold Alec for the rest of her life if it meant that they could shut out the pain of losing Jed. Alec bowed his head against her chest. She brought her face up and softly kissed the top of his head as a new wave of sobs overtook him. She kissed his forehead, then his cheeks, and used a thumb to wipe away his tears, all the while murmuring, 'It'll be okay.' She knew her words were a lie, but she said them anyway. For it was not okay. It would never be okay. He had lost his son. His world had changed forever. But he didn't call her on them, and for that she was thankful.

Logan found them not long after. The feeling of sheer relief at seeing Max awake and on her feet was quickly replaced, however, with something else. Logan felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach. And it wasn't from seeing Jed for the first time since Kyra had whisked him away soon after they had arrived back in Terminal City. No. Logan's attention wasn't drawn to the small still boy lying before him. It was drawn to the arm that Alec had around Max's waist as she stood over the child, crying and stroking his face.

Perhaps it was time to pay his respects. Walking forward, Logan came up next to Alec and put a consoling hand on Alec's shoulder.

Alec flinched at the gesture, sniffed loudly, let go of Max and shrugged the unwelcomed hand off. He gave the older man a piercing look, then cleared his throat and said, "I've got a funeral to arrange," before kissing his son and leaving the room.

"Max I-" Logan began.

But Max didn't stay to hear the rest of what Logan had to stay.

Logan sighed. Maybe coming back to TC was a mistake.

TBC

Author's note:

Sorry guys if this scene doesn't make sense. I don't really want to go back and spend time fixing it up. It was so hard to write. I lost a close family member 3 months ago. He was very young and I was with him when he died. And the grief is still … raw. While his amazing life is to be celebrated, his death… the act of dying itself is something I will never forget. I was sitting in that hospital room for hours literally waiting for his last breath. It was so hard for him at the end. His body was suffering but I doubt that his mind was there. He just became a machine. It was extremely hard for him to breathe at the end. I remember sitting praying for him to go, for each breath to be his last, so he could be at peace. And yet when the time finally came, it was just as I described above. I couldn't breathe. I was drowning and choking. It looked like he was sleeping. I can't believe that he is gone…

For those of you that didn't want Jed to die, well I hope you read on because why I killed him off will become apparent in the next chapter.

Oh and I'd really like to know what you think so please review.

Til next time

Sarah


	25. Choices

TTWTB

Part 25

by Rhasa

Disclaimer in Part 1

"Max! Wait" Kyra called.

Max hadn't gotten very far. Alec had left the infirmary in a hurry after Logan had spoken to him. Max was determined to catch up with him.

"Max!" Kyra's voice called again.

"I need to go to him, Kyra," Max implored, her voice strained with emotion, her eyes full of yet more unshed tears.

"No. Max. He needs some time. He needs to be alone."

Alone? How could Kyra say that? The way Alec had held her just a few minutes ago told her that he wanted anything but to be alone right now. He had held her so tightly, so fiercely … it was if his own life depended upon keeping her with him. Max's emotions were swirling together in a kaleidoscope of feelings. Her heart was breaking for Jed … for Alec … but it was also rejoicing. The way Alec had held her …. Was it selfish of her to have enjoyed his embrace at a time like this? Was it wrong to want to rush after him and fall into his arms again? All she wanted was to comfort him and be comforted by him. It didn't seem possible that people could survive hurting as much as she did right now, and that must be nothing compared to what Alec was feeling. She felt as if someone was literally ripping her soul apart. Oh God, Alec …. Just his proximity had quenched some of the pain she was feeling.

How often had she dreamt about being with him again when she was up in Canada? But never had she imagined it would be under circumstances such as these. She had tried to put him behind her, she had tried to commit herself to the life she had promised Logan, but it didn't take long for her to realize that that was never really going to happen. She had fought against her feelings for so long. But she couldn't run away from them any longer. The truth that she had tried to deny for so long was that she needed Alec like she needed air. And she knew, from the way he had just held her as he said goodbye to his only son that lay cold and still before him, that he needed her too – perhaps now more than ever.

Kyra saw the hesitation in Max's demeanor. "Max, please. Let him go for now. You're not up to it yet. We need to get your blood pressure stabilized. Please come back to the infirmary, just for a little while."

The infirmary was the last place Max wanted to be. Max knew that the only thing that could help her right now was no medicine – it was to be with Alec, to be there for Alec. But just as she was about to protest against Kyra's suggestion, a warm flush of light-headedness swept over her - Kyra caught her before she hit the ground.

It had taken a good half hour to stabilize Max's condition. When at last Max was well enough to sit up in bed, she noticed just how tired Kyra looked. Max felt guilty. Caught up in her own grief, she had failed to notice just what the younger doctor must have gone through today. She had lost a patient – a child – and now she was fighting with another to keep her and an unborn child safe and healthy.

As Kyra fussed over her and took her blood pressure for what seemed the hundredth time, Max watched her carefully. Yes, she was tired, and she obviously feeling the sadness of losing Jed, but there was something else that showed on her features - a deeper worry. Suddenly a sickening feeling rose up in Max. Perhaps Kyra hadn't told her the whole story. Perhaps there was something else about her own condition that the doctor had been keeping back.

Swallowing a little, Max decided to ask, "Do I have progeria too? Is that's what wrong with me?"

"No, Max. As far as I can tell, you have a normal pregnancy so far. Your condition and Jed's illness just happened to coincide with each other."

Max felt another stab of pain in her heart. "Why? Why did this happen, Kyra?"

Kyra didn't answer right away. She sighed, removed the blood pressure cuff, and reached for a nearby stool, before admitting, "We don't know, Max. There's so much we don't know. We don't know what treatment Manticore gave the fetuses in utero. Maybe, Jed's mother didn't receive treatment. I don't know…."

Max closed her eyes. Her whole life seemed to have been about not knowing things. For her, there had always been uncertainty and unanswered questions. From the moment she could remember she hated not knowing what was on the other side of the Manticore fences. Then as a child she worried that she never knew if she would be one of the ones taken in the middle of the night when the tremors got too bad. It was only after her escape that she had learnt what 'mothers' were and from that time onwards she hated not knowing what happened to her mother. And then there was the never knowing if or when Lydecker and Manticore would catch up to her, capture her, and what they might do to her. Then, the when and if of the breeding cult's attacks. Hidden agendas, secret messages, and cryptic tattoos – yes, Max's life was full of uncertainty. But did life for a transgenic hold more uncertainty than the average ordinary's life? Max, thought so. It was true that no one, not transgenic or ordinary, knew what the future would bring, but there was no denying that when you were a transgenic there were more variables purely because you were experimental. The transhumans, or anomalies as they were called, were proof of the uncertainty of the Manticore genetics programme. At least with ordinaries hundreds of thousands or years of natural selection relatively limited the number of things that could go wrong. With transgenics it was a different story. Nothing was certain. There more chances for things to go wrong …. like they did with Jed.

And even though she already suspected the answer, Max had to ask, "What about my baby? Will my baby have progeria too?"

"Honestly? I don't know, Max," Kyra admitted. "The good news is that there have been seventeen births here since we've holed up in TC. Only Jed so far showed signs of progeria."

Max wasn't convinced. "But that could be only a matter of time, right? I mean, I saw sufferers of progeria when I was captured by Renfro. She showed me. Some only developed the symptoms when they reached adolescence. My baby, this baby, could still get it, could still have it, right?"

Kyra sighed. "Nothing is certain Max," she said, echoing Max's earlier thoughts. "Many of us, particularly the transhumans have conditions that we could never expect, never anticipate. Even Manticore was caught off guard by some of the conditions we were afflicted with. Messing with genetics as they did, well, I don't need to tell you how that can turn out. The bottom line is that we just don't know what's going to happen to us. As much as we're afraid to admit it, our future is uncertain."

"If I don't have progeria, then why am I seizing?"

"As I said, we don't know much about pregnancy and X5s. We don't know what treatment Manticore gave the surrogates in the first trimester. In fact, X5s aren't really designed to be pregnant. Yes, our eggs were meant to be harvested, but we weren't designed to actually carry a baby to term. Your seizures may be the result of the extra stress your pregnancy is placing on your body. That or…."

"Or what?"

"Or it's some complication from cross breeding."

Max didn't understand. "Cross breeding? What do you mean?"

"I mean the seizures could be a complication of conception between an X5 and a human. I'm assuming Logan is the father?'"

"What? No!" Max couldn't help the emotion that crept into her voice indicating just how horrified she was with the thought. "Logan is not the father."

Kyra shrank back a little. "I'm sorry. I just thought…. I'm sorry."

"The father isn't an ordinary," Max said sadly. "I didn't sleep with Logan, I couldn't. Not after…." Max closed her eyes. She didn't want to think back to the time her and Alec spent together before she left. She had played it over and over in her mind enough times in the past few months. It was funny, she had thought that they had in fact been reckless back then, but for a whole lot of other reasons rather than the risks they had taken with no contraception. It wasn't as if she had been in heat so there was no reason to think that she would have fallen pregnant. Still, Alec had been the first X5 she had been with, not to mention that he was her perfect genetic match.

"The father's an X5," Max told Kyra.

Kyra nodded. "Does he know?"

Max shook her head. "Even I didn't know. No. He doesn't know."

Kyra stayed silent for a moment, trying to gauge Max's mood, before adding quietly, "There are other options besides continuing with the pregnancy."

Max looked up. "What are you saying?"

"I just want you to know all your options. It wouldn't be the first time we've terminated a pregnancy in Terminal City. You're not the only woman, transgenic or otherwise, that's faced a difficult choice."

"Tell me, how many?"

"Does that really matter? This choice is not the type to be making on the basis of status quo."

"Do these other women, did they terminate because they were afraid something would be wrong with their child?"

"The reasons for choosing termination are as varied as the women themselves. But yes, some terminate because they are afraid. Others have taken a chance and everything has turned out fine. Do you have any idea of how far along you are?"

"About three and a half months."

Kyra nodded. "Then you don't have to decide straight away. You can take some time to think it over."

Max shook her head. "I don't need any time. I'm not going to terminate."

"Max, are you sure? This pregnancy is already having an adverse effect on you. Your blood pressure has spiked. You're tryptophan levels aren't-"

Max stopped her. "I don't care about the risks."

"But a risk to you is also a risk to the baby. Worse case scenario: we could lose both you and the baby."

"I know," Max said, trying to get the other woman to understand. "And I guess that's a chance we'll both have to take. But I'm not terminating Kyra. I couldn't. I don't know about those other women you spoke about I'm not judging them, I haven't walked in their shoes, but to me termination goes against everything I and all of us in Terminal City stand for. We are fighting for the right to have our own place in society despite what we look like, despite our genetics. We want the right to be regarded as individuals, not freaks. We want acceptance. To terminate a pregnancy, well because of the risk that the child may not be normal… well how would that be acceptance? If that is the only reason to terminate, how could I live with myself if I threw away something because it wasn't perfect? None of us are perfect, some are less perfect than others."

"It's different when there are risks."

"There's a risk with every human pregnancy. Should we expect that it would be any different for transgenics?"

"Max, I'm not trying to sway you either way and I'll respect whatever you decide. I just want you to take some time. Think about your options. Think about telling the father. If it's who I think it is then he may have serious reservations about this issue given what he has just gone through…. given what he has just lost. Just think about it, and get some rest. I'll be here if you need me," she said with a small sad smile as she rose. "I mean it, anything you need, even if it's just to talk, I'll be here."

Kyra patted Max's arm and turned out the light before leaving the room. Despite wanting to get back to Alec, they had agreed that Max would rest up here tonight. Perhaps it was for the best; after all, she had a lot to think about. Max was grateful that Kyra had sent Logan away for the night. There was no way she would have time to think with him hovering around. In all honesty, Logan was the least of her worries; it was Alec that preoccupied her thoughts.

God, Alec.

Max could hardly believe it. She was pregnant, with Alec's child. She had never really given much thought as to whether there was a God or not, but she had to wonder if there was, were there reasons for why he or she would put them through a pregnancy so soon after the death of Alec's first son?

Kyra was right to think that Alec may have serious issues with this pregnancy. A part of Max felt how could he not? Would he see it the same way as Max did, or would he be set against it, not wanting to risk another child suffering like Jed did. Would it matter to Max what he felt? If he asked her to terminate because he couldn't stand losing another child, could she do it? Would she do it? Or would he, still love her and be grateful that they could be together again? Would they become a family, and if so what would be their future in Terminal City?

Max's head was spinning. Despite being extremely tired she kept running through these thoughts until the early hours of the morning. Nothing was certain. Both her and Kyra agreed on that. There were so many things that could happen … with the baby…. and with Alec. By the end of the night, the only thing that Max was certain about was that she couldn't tell Alec about the pregnancy – at least not just yet. It was not the right time. The time was for Alec and Jed. It was a time to mourn death. The time to discuss life would have to wait.

TBC

Please review – I would really appreciate it.

Til next time

Sarah


	26. For those left behind

TTWTB

By Rhasa

Part 26

Disclaimer in part 1.

Alec squinted as he raised his face up towards the sky. There hadn't been too many days where there was pure sunshine in the winter months, but today was an exception; twenty-three days straight of drizzle and gray, and now this - this perfect day with its unseasonably clear sky and warm rays.

From the highest vantage point in Terminal City, he looked out over the world below. The late afternoon light played with the buildings and roads, casting long but crisp shadows across the ground. Alec must have sat up here hundreds of time before, but now for the first time, the view took his breath away. The colors of all that lay before him - the gray hues of the streets, the reds of the bricks, the cerulean blue of the sky, even the rain bowed painted graffiti - were unusually vibrant and clear. He spent long moments looking at all the detail of the city of Seattle, wondering why he had never really noticed much of what he was now looking at before.

If fate were kind it would allow him to forget that just a few hours earlier, he had said a final goodbye to his son – only then would he be free to enjoy this perfect day. As it was, although the warm rays kissed his skin, they did nothing to add color to his pale face or warm the coldness that had taken up residence inside of him; instead, they highlighted the dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes. His body felt incredibly heavy and weighted down as if some invisible giant hand was pushing down on his shoulders driving him into the ground, and despite having taken many heavy breathes over the last three days, he still had to remind himself to breathe every once in a while.

The sun was just beginning to set when Max joined him. He had wondered just how long it would take her to build up the courage to seek him out. He hadn't given her much thought prior to the service, but since he had sought solitude up high on the rooftops of TC, his thoughts had strayed from the dead to the living. He hadn't seen her since their reunion in the infirmary, although he had heard that Kyra was keeping her there under observation. He remembered how bad she had looked back then and now wondered why he hadn't worried more about her. Perhaps his grief from his son had robbed him of any other rational thoughts. Jed was dead. Max wasn't. She was sick. But she was tough. Max was invincible. A pang of guilt tugged at his conscience. Okay, so perhaps he should have gone to see her; but those hours after Jed's death were all a blur. Had he slept during that time? He couldn't remember. Despite their separation over the last two days, he was a little surprised that she had stood apart from him during the ceremony. Much to his dismay, it was not Max's but Mole's hand that rested on his back when he had started to sway during the moving scenes.

Now, as she approached him from behind, as he knew she eventually would, something inside of him made him wonder if she had come to apologize for her distance.

"It was a beautiful service," she said softly as she sat next to him.

Alec took her comment for what it was – a nice, polite, safe introduction to a difficult topic. Still looking out over the city before him, he swallowed hard against the lump that resided in his throat. "I don't want to make this kind of thing a habit," he told her. "First Joshua, now Jed."

Max blanched at his words. It wasn't as if she wasn't used to losing people. Her life on the run from Manticore had meant that she had had to say goodbye to friends more times than she could count. But that was different. Although she had grieved for those friends, it was nothing compared to the grief over the death of a loved one. There was always a chance, however slight it might have seemed at the time, that one day she could catch up with those friends again. Despite her loss, the knowledge that they were out there living their lives in the world, safe from any threat she may have been to them, was a comfort. But Jed and Joshua they were truly gone forever, the loss she felt would be permanent, because they were never coming back.

Alec sighed. "In a way I'm glad Joshua wasn't here for this."

Max nodded. "He loved Jed."

"Yeah, he did," Alec agreed.

Max felt her throat tighten as images of the lovable dog man taking care of Jed flashed across her mind. She had promised herself that she wouldn't cry again – at least not in front Alec who had already had his share of pain. She swallowed, took in a deep breath, and blew it out slowly as a way of getting herself under control.

Hearing her breath and sensing her emotions, Alec switched to a more practical topic. "Mole has offered to take care of Jed's ashes. He told me some of the things ordinaries do with them and that got me wondering about whether we should give some thought to a permanent cemetery in TC. Not for, you know, burying bodies, but maybe a place of where they could rest, where we could visit. You know a type of place of remembrance."

Max turned to him. "Do you believe in all that stuff?"

Alec shrugged. "I don't know," he said sadly, as he looked up in to her eyes. "I know that I'm finding it hard to believe…. Hard to believe that it's, you know, that it's all over. That he has gone. One minute he's there and the next he's not. At Manticore, we use to lose people, but not in the same way. They'd get pulled out of ranks and sent to Psy Ops or away missions or wherever. On a couple of missions some that were shot would be medi vac-ed out and sometimes we'd never see them again. And that was okay, because deep down we thought they had just been transferred to some other unit or whatever. But with Jed, I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. I guess it was the same with Joshua. To me, Joshua's just away somewhere. In my head he's been away for quite some time and that sooner or later he'll just rock up. But to think that he is no more …. Well, it kind of messes with your head you know?"

Max didn't have to say anything; instead, she conveyed with her eyes that she knew exactly what Alec was talking about.

He held her eyes for a long moment, noticing for the first time the dark circles and the paleness of her skin. Guilt washed over him again. Fighting an overwhelming urge to reach out and trace a finger down her cheek, he held her gaze, glad at least for that connection with her. Out of all the people he knew, he knew Max would be the one to truly understand how he was feeling - which was why he convinced himself that it was okay to reveal another confession. "I'm worried Max." he whispered.

Max's heart clenched. "What about?"

Any doubt he held about telling her his darkest fear, vanished with the softness of her words. He swallowed, and then looked down – almost as if he was ashamed. "The last time I lost someone extremely close, other than Joshua, was Rachel. Look what happened to me after that."

Max's heart broke at his words. He was possibly the strongest person she knew. To come through what he went through after Rachel's death was truly amazing. How could he doubt himself? She used a finger to slowly lift his chin up. "Rachel was different Alec. When you thought she had died in that explosion you never got the chance to say goodbye. With Jed, although it was only for a short time, at least you got to be with him."

Alec couldn't help it; his lip quivered.

"Did you say goodbye?" Max asked.

Alec nodded. "Yeah. I said goodbye. Although, not much of what I said meant much to him."

Max shook her head. "I disagree. He may have been too young to know what the words meant, but he knew he was not alone. He knew that he was with someone who loved and cared for him."

For a long moment, Alec stayed silent. He didn't know if he agreed with her about Jed understanding that he was loved and cared for. Did someone Jed's age really know those things? Since Jed's death, Alec had thought over and over again, that if he could go back, he would do things differently. He would be a better father to his son. He would give up some of his responsibilities in Terminal City and spend more time with him and he wouldn't send him away with Max. Even if he could turn back time, and even if Jed would still get sick and die, he would spend whatever time they had, together; him, Jed and Max. But would that make the pain any less or only more?

Alec blew out an unsteady breath. Life, death - suddenly it was all too much. Suddenly nothing made sense any more. Just what had Jed's life and death meant? Where was there to go from here? He tried to steady himself as a barrage of thoughts occurred to him. He didn't like the long silence that was stretching between them. He felt as if there was something Max wanted to say, but was holding back. Did she regret these last six months as he did? But despite wanting to change things in the past, Alec knew there was no way that was going to happen. And that left only the future - an uncertain future at that. How Alec was going to reconcile the past with the future, Alec just didn't know.

He turned his thoughts back to Mole's suggestion of a permanent memorial. "I know Jed was only with us for a short time, Max. But he was part of me. He was my son. I don't want to forget him. Do you think a … I don't know, some kind of remembrance place would be all right?"

Max smiled a soft, sad smile. "I think that would be nice."

Alec shot her a glare, and unable to control the anger that had been bubbling up inside him, he turned on her. "Would it? Or maybe it will remind us of … hell I don't know… I mean, what are we doing here, Max. Do we really want Terminal City to be our permanent home? Was that the idea?"

Max recoiled slightly. They weren't questions she hadn't asked herself a million times before, but Alec's timing threw her. For the last few months she had been living day by day, that's all she had been capable of. And with the recent news of her pregnancy, it was if she was living hour by hour. Permanent plans had never factored in to the equation – at least not yet.

The only response she could give him was the honest one. "When we started… I mean when "I" started all this I wasn't really thinking about temporary versus permanent, Alec. I was only thinking about today. Not the tomorrows or next week, next month and certainly not next year."

Alec stared straight a head, a look of determination swept over his face. "Guess it's time to set down some long term plans. I mean, we're coming to up eighteen months here in Terminal City. Since, Jed … well I've wondered … do we really want more babies been born in TC with an uncertain future ahead of them?"

The words 'more babies' and 'uncertain future' echoed in Max's head. She hadn't had a chance to tell him about her uncertain future – their child that was now growing inside of her - how could she so soon after Jed's death? She had entertained the thought that perhaps the news that he was going to be a father again would somehow diminish his grief, but she had quickly dismissed that. The thought of one child replacing the loss of another was just wrong. No one could replace Jed – his first son would always be special.

His words, and the conviction she heard in his voice when he said them, made her nervous. "What are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is, is this enough, Max? Is this type of life we are all living enough anymore?"

"It may not be enough, Alec but it's all we have."

"No," he pinned her with a glare. "It's all _some _of us have."

Max didn't miss the accusation. "What? What do you mean?"

"You spent months in Canada. I imagine it was a far cry from this place. Would you have come back if it wasn't for Jed getting sick?"

Max's heart sank – this wasn't how she wanted it between them. "Alec, you know why I went…"

Alec shook his head. "No, I know why you said you went and I've spent the last few months trying to figure out the real reason because I've never accepted your excuse. I wondered … I wondered if it was just that you were tired…. tired of this life you had created for yourself….. Tired of this life you had created for all of us."

"No. I wasn't tired of this life… I mean I am tired of this life… and I do want more, but that's not why I left."

"I can't live like this anymore, Max. To be honest, it hurts too damn much. I know it may be selfish, but I don't think I'm prepared to lose any more. I lost my freedom, I lost my son, and I lost you. I've heard you talk about family and sticking together and standing up for ourselves, but at what cost? I know it wasn't much of a life, but frankly, it hurt less when I was on my own, right after Manticore burnt down. It hurt less because I didn't care. I don't think I can care anymore, Max, because quite frankly, I don't think I'll survive if I'm forced to care."

Max's stomach did an anxious flip. "What are you saying, Alec?"

"I'm saying, things have to change, Max. I'm saying things _are going to_ change."

Max had no doubt that things would change, but not for the reasons, or in the way, Alec was describing. For the first time, Max feared that Alec would run; that he would leave Terminal City for good. There were times when they had first holed up in here that she wondered if he would pick up and leave – resume the selfish, loner life he had enjoyed right after he had left Manticore - but back then, that thought didn't disturb her as much as it did now.

Apparently, he had forgotten the words he had said to her right after Joshua had died - before she had left with Logan for Canada. She had believed him when he had told her that 'family meant freedom' and that family was important enough to risk everything. It was obvious that he hadn't thought things could have gotten much worse than they were back then. So many things had happened since then. Alec had lost so much more. A person can only take so much, she thought.

Max wanted desperately to reach out to him – to hold him in her arms, to both draw strength from him and give him comfort – but she knew that would only complicate things. She truly didn't know how he would take the news of her pregnancy – would it drive him away, or bring him back to her? The last thing she wanted was to cause him more pain. And yet he had a right to know. If he was going to choose to leave, he had a right to know everything before he makes that choice.

And while she struggled with making the decision of whether or not to tell him, she didn't him notice him staring at her, until his soft words broke through her thoughts.

"I still love you Max," he whispered sadly.

And there it was… everything that she needed to know and hear. She looked up into his hazel orbs and held his gaze. His anger and sadness hadn't left his eyes yet, but those emotions were gradually being replaced by something else.

"Alec, there's something I have to tell you."

All of a sudden, her nervousness and indecision vanished. He still loved her. She still loved him. She was having his baby, and though it was tough right now, it was all going to work out. Now was when she had to put it all on the line – only then could they both work out where to go from here.

She swallowed and began, "Alec-"

"Ah, Max?" Logan's call broke through from behind them.

TBC

Author's Note:

Damn Logan's timing. Be assured there will be a lot of Logan bashing ahead.

I never thought I would get this chapter out. Despite my ongoing health problems (the goal is to stay out of hospital for the rest of the year – fingers crossed) I've had this chapter on my hard drive for about 2 months but wasn't happy with it. Now I've rewritten it, I'm happier. Having been through a personal loss of my own this last year, I really understand all the different emotions Alec feels. I also understand Max's doubts over his reaction. I've written all the dialogue of the next chapter - I find it easier to start with that and just fill in the blanks – so I am hoping that the next chapter won't take so long to post.

Having said that I would really appreciate reviews – it does get my muse going. Reviews would honestly be the best Christmas present for me. Thanks to all those regular TTWTB readers who read and reviewed my latest one shot fics "Encounters" (if you're impatient for some M/A action you should read that one) and "Telling Him" (yeah I know that was totally sneaky and kind of gross but it was really fun to write). Also, I'll be posting another one shot fic in the next week. Look out for "Something's Gotta Give."

Til next time

Sarah


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